Goodbye, Kirsty Soames

Inside Soap magazine reports this week that the end is nigh for Weatherfield's most terrifying bride. Kirsty Soames (never Dobbs - hurrah) is set to depart in an 'explosive' storyline. Here we go again. Therefore we should be safe in expecting one of the following:

Kirsty decides to leave Weatherfield with Roo-beh and makes a dash for Manchester Piccadilly station. Tyrone follows in hot pursuit but slips on a ham barm on platform eleven . . .

In a fit of rage, Kirsty decides to burn the factory down. Sadly the flames also lick at Hayley's red anorak and she succumbs. Horrified, Kirsty takes herself up to t'Faktry roof and launches herself, before your very eyes ladies and gentlemen, from a cannon and lands on the Red Rec . . .

Kirsty decides to go out in a blaze of glory by crashing a vehicle into part of the set that requires a make-over. Sadly, the only thing to hand is a steamroller and so, stately as a galleon, she trundles to her death, mowing down Hayley on the way before slowly coming to rest in the plastic flowers outside Dev's shop . . .

Kirsty has another psychotic episode and becomes convinced that all of the other residents are actors, apart from Sean. They are all aghast when, during a deranged moment in the Rovers, she tells them that the viaduct doesn't lead anywhere and that Rosamund Street is just a picture. Kirsty is last seen climbing on to that tiny bus that only travels thirty yards and then stops . . .

Kirsty and Hayley join a travelling convent . . .

A nation waits.



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