Gritty sagas by Corrie blog editor Glenda Young, published by Headline. Click pic below!

Saturday, 4 April 2020

Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

Tidy up after yourself.  I'm sure we've all experienced that feeling of fear and dread as we've walked along a towpath, or on a footbridge, or even a quiet street.  The horror as you see a gang of youths approaching, hoodies up, hands down their trackie bottoms, being all noisy and boisterous and full of energy because they're young and haven't yet become fully aware of the crushing horror of existence.  In real life, these lads pass me by quite unremarkably, because they are no more interested in middle aged men with a Morrison's bag full of Quavers and vodka than anyone else, but in soap opera land these never end well.  So it was this week, when David was mugged by a gang of - well, I'll say lads, but I think they were all pushing thirty, some of them from the other side.

Frankly, I thought David deserved everything he got, because he first got their attention when he hurled an empty beer can into the undergrowth.  Littering is impolite and antisocial and plain unpleasant.  It wouldn't surprise me if the lads weren't random scallies at all, but were in fact the paramilitary wing of the Keep Britain Tidy campaign, patrolling the streets to mete out vigilante justice to those who spit out chewing gum or discard a cigarette butt.  In fact, they'd just come from delivering a Brooklyn Curb-Stomp on an old woman who'd picked up her dog's mess, but had then hung the poo bag over the spike on a metal fence.  It's harsh but it's the only way these people will learn.

David eventually broke free and hid from them up that fire escape where Carla had her psychotic episode last year.  Why he didn't run into the barber's, which is in the same building and where he could've closed and locked the door and been quite safe, I have no idea.

When opportunity knocks, answer.  There were only three episodes this week, as the ongoing pandemic put paid to production of the show, but Monday's episode offered up a valid alternative to fill all that time.  As Imran chomped down on David's toast I spotted a poster behind him for Mary's still tragically unseen one-woman show.  It is a crime that we haven't been able to see her all in the programme, and now there is no excuse for not putting An Audience With Mary Cole on our screens.  Thirty minutes - no, make it an hour - of Patti Clare delivering a monologue all about Mary's colourful and thoroughly insane life would be A+ television.  You don't need an expensive crew or sets, just have her film it on her phone in her living room and whack it on ITV.  It could be like Talking Heads, only on amphetamines.  I would absolutely tune in for that.

People must be told.  Speaking of the ongoing hellscape that is planet earth right now, the episodes were preceded by the above title card on broadcast.  Presumably Ofcom have got sick of people phoning in to complain that the residents of Weatherfield are all going to the pub and hugging and are therefore riddled with the virus.  If I'd been in charge at ITV I'd have added "you know this isn't real, right?" on the bottom, but that's just me.  I hope there are more of these in future to let the more credulous members of the audience know that what they're watching is in fact a drama.  "The producers would like to inform viewers that Geoff is a fictional character played by an actor, so please stop hitting Ian Bartholomew in supermarkets."  "The following episode doesn't really make sense, but it's Britain's Got Talent Live Week, so we got told we had to do something epic."  "This episode was filmed in January, which is why everyone looks absolutely pigging frozen even though they're pretending it's a nice spring day."

Baked goods are a controversial subject.  Bap or barm?  Alex, who works in a cafe, is Team Bap, but Gemma is a Barm Person, which I fear means they can never truly be friends.  You can overcome many things in a relationship - different religions, political divides - but if someone asks you if you want a bap when what you want is a barm it'll annoy you every time and you'll end up shoving it down their throat.  Personally I'm a Roll Person, because I'm a soft Southern nance, though I live on Merseyside where it's called a Bin Lid so frankly anything's better than that.  It was nice to see Alex out and about this week, by the way; he's been trapped behind the counter of the cafe for months, coming out with a one-liner then wandering in the back, so it was good to see they'd finally remembered he's friends with Gemma.  I wonder if his sudden resurgence has anything to do with Ali's departure?  Ali's real name is, let's not forget, Alex; perhaps there's a strict rule about the number of Alexes allowed to appear onscreen at any one time and so young Mr Warner is only allowed out of the plot cupboard now Mr Neeson has burned off into the sunset.

Everybody's a fool.  It was April Fool's Day this week (in the episode broadcast April 3rd, because of the new schedule, but never mind) and everyone took part.  Bernie applied fake spots to her face and put salt in the sugar bowl...

...Lily hid under the table so that David could terrify Gail by pretending her granddaughter had wandered off; she tried to get her revenge later by telling him his car was on fire but he treated it with the contempt it deserved...

...Steve performed a craniotomy on Tracy while she slept, then sewed part of her brain back on the outside of her head...

...while at number six, the funniest gag was the idea that anyone would willingly want to spend more than two minutes in the same room as Geoff without punching him in the face.  Even though I'm really short of material this week, I still refuse to cover the Geoff/Yasmeen storyline - not least because it's really hard to get any laughs out of the systematic destruction of a woman's entire soul - but I will say that if the resolution to Friday's cliffhanger doesn't involve her kneeing him in the goolies I will be very angry indeed.

Now there's only three episodes a week, I've got to find a way to keep my Corrie levels topped up, so I've started writing fan fiction.  If you want to read my tender love story about Dev, Brian and Tiny the Horse, please contact me on Twitter @merseytart.

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Conversation Street Podcast Episode 412

On our latest podcast, we cover the episodes of Coronation Street shown in the UK between the 30th March and the 3rd April (Episodes #10,042 - 10,044).

This week sees the start of the new  reduced schedule, and we start off the Street Talk section sharing our thoughts on how it feels to only get three episodes a week - and ones that were never originally intended to be shown this way either! That's followed by a discussion of the latest goings on in the Yasmeen storyline - has she finally seen through Geoff's lies and manipulation? Also this week, David gets a taste for danger, Aled gets his hearing aids fitted, and Charles plays by his own rules.

Next up on the show, we celebrate the news of Sally Carman and Joe Duttine's engagement in The Kabin, and we finish off the podcast with some feedback, including a quick go at a fun Corrie game suggested by one listener.

Street Talk - 00:07:32
The Kabin - 01:15:43
Feedback - 01:22:09

Our extra content for Episode 412 of the podcast is a review of the second half of our 1960s Corrie box set. 1965 to 1969 saw some big changes to the Street, including the introduction of an outdoor set and the construction of the maisonettes opposite the terraced houses. It was also the period where Betty Turpin and Bet Lynch made their debuts, and big stunts like the train crashing through the viaduct and the collapse of Number 7 kept viewers hooked. In this discussion, we go over stories we enjoyed, characters that made the biggest impression, and our thoughts on what the box set can teach us about life in the 60s.

Finally, as we're trying to keep the main bit of podcast free of all coronavirus talk for the listeners who are just fed up of hearing about it, we've also decided to do a quick update on how the pandemic is affecting all things Corrie in another standalone podcast. It's only been a few weeks since our first COVID-19 discussion, but thing have moved on since then, including the halting of all Corrie filming until further notice! We discuss some new ideas about where this might leave our favourite soap as well as sharing some of the ways that the Corrie cast are keeping us entertained over social media while we're all stuck inside.

You can subscribe to our podcast on iTunes, stream all our old episodes on our own site here, or click the play buttons above to give it a listen from the comfort of this very blog!

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Coronation Street weekly update – April 4 2020

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Big story this week has got to be Yasmeen finally seeing Geoff for the nasty piece he is. She discovers his password for the laptop and rifles through his emails only to find that Geoff’s been using an escort service. Wait until she finds out that he’s been using her money to pay for it, too! Yasmeen can’t find any evidence of Geoff booking a hotel in Spain for Zeedan’s wedding, as he said he had. Finally… Yasmeen confronts Geoff and in a twisted scene, Geoff begs Yasmeen not to leave him, he crumples, deflates and you just know in that instant there’s something not right in his mind, in his head, in his very being. And still you want to kick him in the nuts. Anyway, Yasmeen tells him she’s leaving for Spain on her own. She packs her bag and tries to leave but Geoff stands in the doorway with his arm blocking her way.

Elsewhere, David goes off the rails this week reeling from the news that Shona wants a divorce. He goes drinking and gets mugged by a gang of lads who pull a knife on him. Then he speaks to Imran who gives him free legal advice and tells David that he and Shona can’t divorce as they’ve not been married a year yet. I didn’t know that, did you? Every day’s a school day! David apologies to Alina for using her and the two of them agree to be friends.

Over at Stillwaters, Ken’s incensed to be fined by Charles for professional cleaning of the carpet after Eccles’ little mistake. So when Ken finds the usual cleaner doing the work instead of the professional company he’s been charged for, her tackles Charles who doesn’t like it one bit. He likes it even less when Ken sets himself up as a challenger to Charles’ authority in the retirement community. Let’s get ready to rumble.

Some good news this week at the hospital when baby Aled gets a hearing aid and his little face lights up at the sound of Gemma and Chesney’s voice. A lovely little scene.  Bernie’s doing her best around the house but it’s clearly not enough and Cathy takes her to task for skiving when she should be giving Gemma much more help.

Emma and Seb split up over Alina and Emma moves in to No. 1 with Steve, Tracy and Amy. However, Emma’s going to be left home alone when the Barlow’s head to Scotland to visit Beth and Daniel and little Bertie who are up there on the grief retreat.

And that’s just about that for this week.

Remember, you can sign up to get these Corrie weekly updates by email at

This week’s writers were Martin Allen (Monday); David Isaac  (Wednesday) and Joe Turner (Friday). Find out all about the Coronation Street writing team at Coronation Street Blog: Exclusive: All Current Corrie writers online
Glenda Young
Twitter: @Flaming_Nora
Facebook: GlendaYoungAuthor
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Friday, 3 April 2020

Coronation Street Episode Review Friday 3 April

Evening Corrie fans, it’s Kelly here with your Friday night review.

This episode was clearly supposed to be broadcast two days ago on April Fool’s Day as the Platt’s, Barlow’s, Bernie, Tim and Geoff (more about him later) all attempt April Fool’s gags. The only vaguely funny one is Gail rushing into the café to tell David his car is on fire only for him to counter with “I have no idea who that woman is”. While in the café denying his mother, David finds time to apologise to Alina for using her. And we all learn that “Sling your hook” sounds quite sexy when said in a Romanian accent.

In other news baby Aled has his hearing aid fitted and can hear his parents speak (or in Gemma’s case screech) for the first time. Still unwilling to accept that she needs help, Gemma tells her mum that everything is fine now and she can move out. Also, with Emma moping around at No.1 the new McDonald residence, (this is going to take a bit of getting used to), Steve and Tracy decide they’ll pay a visit to Daniel in Scotland.

And so back to the real drama. In a rare moment of sneakiness Yasmeen tricks Geoff into logging into his laptop in front of her and mentally notes his password. Then when the Kraken goes off for a bath she goes through his emails. As predicted by Alya she finds no messages from the posh hotel in Spain he claimed to have booked…but quite a few from an escort.

He catches her of course. You wouldn’t put it past him to have been spying on her from the bathtub. Finally caught out, he brings out all his best gaslighting methods, accusing her of being nasty and suspicious and not trusting him. As she grovels and apologises it looks like he is going to get away with it again. Quite unbelievably he even attempts to talk his way out of the escort emails by saying he was researching modern dating for his hospital radio show. Because pep-talks from mid-range hookers are just want you need when you’re recovering from a nasty slipped disc.

For reasons unknown Yasmeen seems more bothered about the hotel booking than the call girl. As she persists with questioning him, he eventually admits that he lied about the hotel. With the scales finally falling from her eyes she tells him that she’s going to Spain without him. He begs her not to go and tries to guilt her over his fake heart problem, but she’s implacable. When none of his tricks work he drops the act and blocks her way telling her she’s not going anywhere.

Now obviously I’m happy that the hideous waste of organs that is Geoff might finally get his comeuppance, but now that we’re coming to the end of this story, I hope the writers don’t rush the conclusion or do something sensational like having Yasmeen kill him. I’d actually like to know why he’s like this? What goes on in his head? Did he treat Tim’s mum like this and if so, will Tim re-evaluate his childhood?

Alternatively, you may just prefer it if Yasmeen whacks him over the head with a plate of daal and then feeds him to the remaining chickens?

Let me know in the comments section or on twitter @mskelstar.

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