Cosy crimes and gritty sagas by Corrie Blog editor Glenda, published by Headline. Click pic below!

Monday 28 February 2022

Coronation Street Episode Review Monday 28th February

Hello and welcome to the new hour-long Corrie. Personally, I'm not in favour since I do most of the writing of this review during Only Connect/Mastermind. But anyway, on with the show...

Adam complains that the police are unable to join the dots re: Lydia and everything that's been happening to him recently. That's 'cos PC Tinker has left the force! Adam reckons Sarah will come crawling back to him, but when she doesn't, he starts shouting at her, telling her that Lydia is a fantasist. He's still underestimating both women, isn't he? Sarah tells the girls and Carla that Lydia is sacked. Constructive dismissal much?

Meanwhile, Emma is practising accidentally bumping into Jon (Dead Ted's grandkid) at Freshco although she runs away when she sees him with his trolley train. He comes to see her in the pub and they go out for a meal at Speed Daal, spotted by Craig and Fay(e). Is this Emma's exit storyline? We only have a few weeks left with the lovely Emma, so let's treasure them. Faye, with a face like a slapped, um, face kicks off, saying that Craig gave up his cop job for them and that she (Emma) is a disgrace. I don't think the criminals of Weatherfield are that bothered, are they? Its not like Slipper of the Yard has retired.

Chesney tells Granny Linda that Joseph can go live in Portugual, visa permitting. They talk about him leaving in September but Joseph, feeling unwanted, requests to go now. Run Joseph! Run like the wind! He could even learn Portuguese which'd be useful if he were to go to, erm, Brazil? He bids his extended family a tearful farewell and then Hope 'fesses up that Joseph feels that Chesney couldn't afford five kids and that he thought Chesney didn't want him to stay, which leads to a last minute dash to the airport, the actual airport I think? (hence everyone is wearing masks) and of course Joseph returns to the cobbles with his dad.

Can we have a little break from the dirty nappies and the kitchen sink and the invisible quads now?

Imran hides an engagement ring in a pudding, which Toyah almost chips a tooth on. Abi is unimpressed by the twosome's happiness, especially as Debbie tells her that Kevin wants her out of the house, and so she starts drinking Toyah and Imran's champagne and being generally obnoxious. This is going to end badly, isn't it.

Brian and Cathy return from their month long sojourn in Cornwall, banging on about some sweet shop that B-Pac wants to buy. He and Cathy decide to choose their future residence via a game of chess, which Brian wins but then says he won't force Cathy to move. So that was all a bit pointless, unless Peter Gunn is actually planning to leave the show? Hope not.

Rachel Stevenson - on twitter

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Preview of tonight's Coronation Street - Monday 28 February 2022


CHESNEY LETS JOSEPH GO Linda calls at No.5 to collect Joseph for school. Chesney admits to Gemma it’s time he accepted that Linda can give Joseph a far better life in Portugal. Chesney bites the bullet and tells Joseph that he’s prepared to let him move to Portugal with Granny Linda. Joseph’s inwardly gutted. Chesney meets up with Linda in the Rovers and tells her that she can give him the life he deserves. Linda calls at No.5 and explains that owing to an emergency, she’s flying back to Portugal tonight. When Joseph asserts that he’ll go too, Chesney and Gemma reel in shock.  Chesney’s adamant that he’s only got Joseph’s best interests at heart. Outside No.5, an emotional Chesney, Gemma, Bernie, Fiz, Hope and Ruby wave Joseph and Linda off in their taxi. Fiz calls at No.5 and urges Hope to tell Chesney what Joseph said. When Hope reveals that Joseph didn’t want to go to Portugal but felt they couldn’t afford to keep him, Chesney realises he’s made the worst decision of his life. A panicky Chesney and Gemma set off for the airport in pursuit of Joseph, but will they reach him in time? 

EMMA REGRETS SEEKING JON OUT Emma spies on Ted’s grandson, Jon, in Freshco’s car park as he collects the trolleys. Jon calls in the Rovers looking for Emma and explains that he saw her watching him in the Freshco car park. Jon admits to Emma that he’s thought about her a lot since his Granddad’s funeral and suggests they go for a bite to eat. Over dinner in Speed Daal, Emma’s fascinated and it’s clear Jon is totally smitten. In the salon flat, Faye rails at Emma for going on a date with Jon, pointing out that Craig gave up his career for them. When Emma’s phone beeps with a text from Jon, what will she do? Jon admits to Emma that he’s thought about her a lot since his Granddad’s funeral and suggests they go for a bite to eat. Over dinner in Speed Daal, Emma’s fascinated and it’s clear Jon is totally smitten. In the salon flat, Faye rails at Emma for going on a date with Jon, pointing out that Craig gave up his career for them. When Emma’s phone beeps with a text from Jon, what will she do?

IMRAN SURPRISES TOYAH Over dinner in the bistro, Toyah discovers an engagement ring buried in her pudding. Toyah slips the ring on her finger and assures Imran she’s thrilled with it.Debbie takes Abi into the bistro office and having spoken to Kevin, gently explains that he wants her gone before he returns home.   When Toyah shows off her engagement ring, Abi’s scathing and Toyah’s taken aback.

ELSEWHERE In the factory, Sarah confirms that Lydia won’t be returning to work. Brian and Cathy return from their holiday in Cornwall and Brian tells Shona how he found a shop just like the Kabin but in a Cornish village and he’s tempted to buy it.  Adam assures Carla and Daniel that he hasn’t slept with Lydia since his uni days and Carla and Daniel don’t believe a word. Adam calls in the factory and does his best to convince Sarah that Lydia’s an evil fantasist, but Sarah’s disbelieving.

Glenda Young
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Saturday 26 February 2022

Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

You'll catch your death.  Look, I know there's a difference between tough, unshakeable Northerners and soft Southern wusses.  I've been out in Liverpool of a winter's evening; I've seen the lads in their tiny t-shirts and girls in hotpants and not much else.  None the less, I don't think it's healthy that everyone in Weatherfield has this mad urge to eat outside in February.  This week alone, we got Nina eating her lunch in the community gardens, Joseph suggesting a picnic as a day out to his dad, and Jacob romancing Amy with an al fresco dinner on what looked like an abandoned quayside.  I know they're teenagers and everything but seriously, Jacob, you couldn't find somewhere with a patio heater that didn't stink of dead fish and vagrant urine?

He did put on a good show though, with candles, music and a really expensive looking picnic basket.  It had crockery and silver cutlery; where did he pull that from?  Is it left over from his last visit to Royal Ascot?  We don't actually know what Railings Boy is doing with his life now he's stopped peddling smack, so maybe he's working in the Trafford Centre branch of John Lewis and he took advantage of his staff discount to impress Amy.  I'm pleased he's back - Jack James Ryan is a very appealing actor, and I like that he's stuck "James" in his stage name to stop people asking him if he's found the Red October yet - but I do wish we'd seen something of their courtship.  How did they get from Amy spitting insults at him across a hospital car park to star-cross'd lovers within a few weeks?  She said he texted her and that's a conversation I would really like to have seen.  Sorry I got your cousin involved in the drug trade resulting in his entire family having their lives threatened.  Anyway, do you fancy a bit of underbra groping sometime?

The punishment doesn't always fit the crime.  Is Tracy Barlow (I refuse to call her McDonald) a bitch?  Absolutely.  It's why we love her.  Did she have to imply Stu was drinking a "meth and tonic"?  Absolutely not.  (Was it very funny when she did?  Yes.)  She's very definitely not perfect.  But did she deserve to have her Christmas present from her dad snatched off her doorstep and ruined?  No, she didn't, and I think it was very unfair of Stu to do so.  Don't forget he didn't know Dev was going to conveniently get a case of cheap wine when he half-inched the crate from outside number 1; he was simply on the rob at that point.

As a consequence Tracy's night of sophisticated wine tasting was ruined, although that's possibly fair as she didn't bother inviting Ken to it.  Have a bit of gratitude Trace, even if he was tired after spending all day inking apostrophes on the Gazette.  It seemed all the wines were basically vinegar in a posh bottle and, speaking as a professional alcoholic, that's still drinkable.  Hold your nose while you sup it and it'll be fine. Anyway, I spotted a couple of whites and rosés in there, which Stu presumably couldn't replace with the stuff he got from Dev, so Tracy's evening of sampling wouldn't have been a total write-off.

(What on earth is going on with Deirdre in that photo at the back, by the way?)

One short misunderstanding about "brassieres" later and Stu was getting lathered with Tracy. Steve and Ed, playing their music too loudly and rolling out onto the street shouting about Ted Rogers.  I would like to make one request of the producers for my own sanity: no more drunk acting.  Please.

Missing: one Battersby.  This blog has regularly pleaded for Jane Danson to be given some time off from the show.  For about three years, Leanne was in seemingly every episode, careening from one storyline to the next, being forced to cry in close up, never getting so much as a sick day when she turned up with a rotten cold.  Finally it appears she's been allowed to have a holiday, as Leanne has barely featured in 2022.  And at that exact moment, the writers have created a storyline where we really need to see her in the programme.  Toyah's engaged, and she doesn't seem to have told her sister, the woman she's closest to in the world.  She's run round the Street telling everyone else - and who can blame her; if I was engaged to Imran I'd hire the front page of the Daily Mirror to boast about it - but we've had no lovely happy reaction from Leanne.  (And what does Janice think of all this, too?)

You know who else knows all about Toyah and Imran's engagement?  Her new best friend Abi, who she suddenly can't stop yammering on at, and Sean, who is awful.  Even more so this week.  Never have I seen a fifth wheel so obvious and embarrassing as Sean in the bistro, and never has he been more irritating with his drunken parlour games.  Remember when Curtis faked a heart attack so he didn't have to talk to Sean any more?  The lot of them should've done the same thing, keeled to the floor clutching their chest, in the hope he'd run off to get an ambulance and they could all sneak out the back.

Eight hundred wrongs don't make a right.  Quick question: why is Mrs Crawshaw still in place at Wethy High?  Because between the upskirting and the date rape drugs at the dance the place is a mess of sexual predation and should probably be put into special measures for the good of its pupils.  Detective Daniel was on the case though, joining the dots to deduce that Max was the one responsible for slipping GHB in his niece's drink and immediately running round to number 8 to have it out with him.  I know he was in an emotional state but if I were Daniel I would avoid being alone in a house with Max for a very long time now, particularly if I were intending to extract a criminal confession out of him.

Max - who appeared to be wearing one of Noel Edmonds' Telly Addicts jumpers - admitted to what he'd done, but suggested they call it quits because Daniel pushed him down the stairs.  (He pushed him down the stairs because Max had broken into his flat and was vandalising it but everyone seems to be ignoring that bit).  Daniel agreed and they all decided to not say anything more about it.  Meanwhile, Amy is off somewhere wondering if she was deliberately targeted by a would-be rapist and if she'd have died if she hadn't been saved by Jacob and Asha but I guess that's fine because Daniel said she's got a strong character.  Handy, that.

It's the end of an era.  Wednesday's episodes were quietly significant in the sixty-plus year history of Coronation Street; they were the last time the show was broadcast in a half hour slot.  The programmes next week will be double bills, and after that they'll be shown in a one hour block from 8 o'clock every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  I'm not looking forward to the new pattern, and not only because I'm a terrible old stick in the mud who hates change.  I've long thought there was too much Corrie on telly anyway - go back to three episodes, that was a nice way to pass the week and it meant everything was a bit less hysterical - and somehow making all the episodes an hour long makes watching the show more of a commitment.  Hour long dramas are big meaty things, Line of Dutys and Killing Eves and Broadchurches.  They're not fun little soap operas.  Suddenly it feels like I have to make time to watch Corrie instead of it simply being on.  I'm sure nothing will fundamentally change, and everything will carry on much as it did before, but I thought it was important to note.  Things really will never be the same again.

If Adam would like to forward on his NSFW photo that shocked Sarah-Lou, I can be contacted via Twitter @merseytart.  My DMs are very definitely open.

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Coronation Street Episode Review Friday 25 February 2022

Greetings Corrie fans, it’s Kelly here with your Friday night review.

At Chez Baldwin/Platt, Sarah is interrupted mid-hair tonging to take a call on Adam’s mobile. It’s the hotel to say that they’ve found the ladies watch which was lost on his last visit. She of course immediately tells Loopy Lydia, because why wouldn’t you spill the intimate details of your marriage to one of your employees. Lyd’s pulls the old ‘whatever you do, don’t press that huge red button’ trick by telling her not to torture herself by going through his receipts. Lo and behold, before you can say ‘reverse psychology’, Sarah has found that he has apparently spent £136 on lingerie and ordered oysters and champagne in his hotel room.

In other cheater news, Abi is stomping around with a face like a slapped arse having been left Home Alone by Kevin and Jack. She blames Sally for accidentally blabbing on the Bluetooth, but Sal’s in no mood for her self-pity as she’s off to look after Gina (I hope she’s packed her ice-skates!). A guilty Imran overhears them and quizzes Abi about how much she’s told Kev, but they’re interrupted by Toyah ‘I’m a professional listener’ Battersby. Toyah will clearly do anything to avoid doing her actual job at the factory, because she then chases Abi round for the rest of the day until she can finally impart her advice about fighting for her relationship. Honestly, I was fully expecting Abi to be sitting on the toilet and for Toyah to jump out of the bath shouting “I used to be a counsellor”. Eventually Abi calls Kevin and leaves a message telling him that she loves him, but whether this was to save their marriage or just to get Toyah off her back is anyone’s guess.

Meanwhile, Stu fesses up to Yasmeen about swapping Tracy’s wine for cheap plonk. Yas goes a bit holier-than-thou and tells him he needs to make amends. But when he goes round to No.1 with a new case of the good stuff, he finds that Tracy has already complained to the company and got her money back, so all is forgiven. I would have though Trace was a bit more vindictive than that, but apparently not, as she, Steve, Stu and Ed (?) all decide to get rat-arsed together and declare themselves bessie mates.

Over at  No.5, Chesney continues his terrible parenting by first stopping Joseph from going on some nature walk that he very politely asked about, and then telling him that his Grandma Linda will have forgotten about him in a month. Nice work Ches. In the café, Joseph forlornly tells Linda that he feels like he’s always in the way and she says he can always visit her in Portugal. I mean stuff the Algarve, if Joseph even makes it to adulthood he’s going to need about 25 years of therapy. 

Also, former PC Tinker starts his work at the factory where he’s clearly desperately unhappy and unfulfilled. Most partners would try to show a bit of empathy if their actions had forced someone they loved to give up their dream career, but unfortunately for Craig he’s dating Faye. With a narcissism bordering on sociopathy, she blithely tells him he’ll soon forget about policing. Yes Craig, a glittering career in packing knickers awaits you, but only after you’ve finished cutting the crusts of Milady Windass’s sandwiches and picking out all the brown M&M’s from the bowl for her.    

 Back at Chez Baldwin/Platt, Sarah gets loopy Lydia round who ‘confesses’ that she is having an affair with Adam and that they couldn’t fight their attraction to each other. When Adam arrives home, Lydia tells him that Sarah has found out about their affair. Naturally bewildered, he tells Sarah that Lydia is making everything up and he knows nothing about the incriminating charges on his card. Sarah throws them both out, telling Lydia to “shut your mouth, your legs and the door on the way out”. Good one Mrs B. Touch of Elsie Tanner.

In the Street, Adam angrily confronts the pound shop Glenn Close, which is overseen by David. He demands to know why she’s doing this and she tells him he ruined her life and this is payback. He unwittingly makes it worse by saying they weren’t even that serious and he doesn’t really remember much about them dating (for a lawyer he’s not very good at carefully choosing his words!). Seething, Lydia tells him she’s going to dismantle his life piece by piece and there’s nothing he can do about it. 

And that’s it for this week. I’m off to start a search party for Harry and Lydia’s son (who has been mentioned and seen so infrequently I’ve forgotten his name). Maybe Linda could take them to Portugal with Joseph? They’ll be starting university before their parents realise they’re missing. Join me in the comments or on twitter @mskelstar

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