Cosy crimes and gritty sagas by Corrie Blog editor Glenda, published by Headline. Click pic below!

Monday, 26 September 2022

Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

It's deja vu all over again.  It was nice of Coronation Street to, in her final week, give Kelly a sort of "greatest hits" storyline.  It was a bit like when somebody gets an Honorary Oscar and they show clips from all their films before handing over an award that's basically "please take this before you die".  Over the course of the week, Kelly...

...had extreme daddy issues... kidnapped again (apparently by Andrew Pierce from the Daily Mail)...

...and inadvertently caused the hospitalisation of one of the Street's more charming younger cast members.  She also went off to Thailand without sorting anywhere to live, so I guess they're revisiting the homeless storyline as well; let's hope there's a Thai version of Homeless Stu waiting for her in Bangkok.  If they'd managed to chuck in a drug overdose they'd have got the full set.  I'm sure Millie Gibson was thrilled, because we all get that tinge of anxiety after we hand in our notice that we might not be doing the right thing.  After a final week of yet more unrelenting grimness and terror she'll be glad to be shot of the place.  Quick hint, producers; if you want to keep your blossoming starlets, give them some nice plotlines, some jolly, fun ones that make going to work a pleasure, and maybe they will stick around a bit longer.

It's deja vu all over again (again).  Of course, you can't have just one criminal storyline in a week of Corrie episodes, there has to be another one or people will get bored and start watching The Repair Shop or something.  As a result Stephen plummets even further into desperation in a way that is starting to feel a little... familiar.  You know who else had a meddling ex-wife who turned up at an inopportune moment to demand money?  You know who else started telling people that Audrey was confused and possibly had dementia as a way of concealing his shifty property shenanigans?  

Let's keep an eye out for any purchases of black leather gloves, and encourage Maria to start wearing a crash helmet at all times in case Stephen decides to kill a local hairdresser.

Murder is surprisingly difficult, actually.  So if we are to believe the show, Kelly offered Evil Tom Allen £10,000 to kill Gary, then changed her mind, asked him not to kill him after all, and offered to give him the ten grand for doing nothing?  And he decided to instead not only murder Gary, but also kill Kelly, which would mean he would be a murderer twice over instead of none and wouldn't even get the second instalment of £5,000 she owed him?  There's a long history of rubbish gangsters in the programme but this one is particularly rubbish.

His plan to make Kelly look like Gary's murderer also made no sense.  For a start, Gary disappeared long before Kelly did, and she remained at a party gathering an alibi the whole time while he was in the woods.  She then went to a hotel at Manchester Airport with Aadi - continuing that alibi - before vanishing.  Evil Tom Allen is suggesting that the police would have to conclude that she left the airport hotel, went all the way back to the woods in Weatherfield, murdered Gary (who was hanging out in the woods for some reason and decided not to resist being killed by this tiny teenage girl), buried him, went back into town, got a pang of guilt, went to the top of a random warehouse, and chucked herself off it.  All (a) without any transportation of her own and (b) while wearing a little red dress and high heels that didn't have a speck of mud on them.  Oh, and since Gary would be buried in a wood miles away from Kelly's body, nobody would even know he was dead to be able to blame Kelly for his murder in the first place until someone finally found his body.  Plus the tiniest bit of forensic analysis would reveal Kelly had never fired a gun in her life, and anyway where would she get a shotgun from?  (Actually, Gary simply chucked it into the undergrowth for anyone to find; between this, Harvey having a gun literally fall at his feet and Eileen dumping one on the Red Rec, perhaps you simply can't go for a stroll in Weatherfield without tripping over a firearm).  

Also, how did they know to take Gary to the exact spot in the woods where he killed Rick?  There was only the two of them there and Rick's body was found somewhere else, because Gary moved it in the middle of the pandemic after people started showing up with metal detectors.  It was all contrived, inelegant nonsense that failed on pretty much every level.  It wasn't even very exciting.  And after all that, nobody even died, so it was a bit of a waste of time.

PS: note for ITV's PR department.  Before you go boasting about the revolutionary special effects processes used in the filming, maybe have a look at them?

BUMPWATCH!  I didn't realise Julia Goulding was pregnant until very recently, but now I know that fact, it's all I can see.  I hope they have a better plan for her maternity leave than giving her brain damage again.  In the meantime, let's amuse ourselves by watching out for how they conceal her pregnancy.  There's her inexplicable attachment to her jacket, above.

There's a conveniently placed convertible car.

And there's a large yellow cushion.  Keep your eyes peeled for future favourites such as "big basket of washing", "high counter", and, of course, "small child being hugged right in front of her at all times".  

Keep your treasures close.  The obvious highlight of the week (apart from Dev's drunken speech at the party) was the Saga of Hayley's Coat.  I particularly enjoyed all the significant shots of the coat in the box, peeking out like the Ark of the Covenant at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, and culminating in the man from the charity shop carrying it away in this extremely natural and not at all contrived fashion:

But who cares, because it lead to a storyline where Roy and Evelyn palled about, with Nina and Bernie in support.  I can't be the only person who'd have been happy if this week's episodes had been purely about them scouring the charity shops of Greater Manchester and then in the last couple of minutes someone said "oh yeah, Kelly's moved to Thailand, what a shame."   The coat storyline was sweet and funny and had actual stakes I cared about - I really want Roy to recover it, while I wasn't particularly bothered if Kelly got pushed off that rooftop.  It also lead to some great comedy, like when the aggrieved old lady retrieved her coat and hinted that she needed volunteers, leading to Evelyn replying "of course Roy and I... will be happy to ask around".  I know it doesn't look like much but it made me giggle furiously.  You can chuck as many CGI bottles and gunshots and high speed chases at the screen as you like, Corrie: you'll never be Die Hard and you should give it up.  You're just no good at it.  Be the small, cheery domestic drama you were created to be and actually succeed at.  

If they kill Aadi I will be absolutely furious.  Contact me on Twitter @merseytart if you want to join my protest outside the ITV Studio gates.

All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License

Meet Millie Gibson and Mikey North at Corrie fan event

Lucky Coronation Street fans in Canada can meet Millie Gibson & Mikey North from Corrie.

This show is an exciting & revealing stage interview hosted by veteran Canadian corrie stage host Neville MacKay (Halifax). 

Millie & Mikey offer a chance for you to see and hear from their newer generation of Corrie Stars who are behind much of the recent dark drama and captivating story lines on the cobbles.

Come out and give a Nova Scotian welcome to the actors that tread Coronation Street’s cobbles. Anecdotes, inside information, it’s all there, so do visit with us as Millie & Mikey welcome Canadian fans into their Weatherfield world.

Guaranteed to be a real eye-opener, even for the long-time Coronation Street fan.

If you like Corrie you’ll LOVE this show. 

All details and book tickets here.

Glenda Young
Twitter: @Flaming_Nora
Fancy writing a guest blog post for us? All details here!  
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All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License

Preview of tonight's Coronation Street - Monday 26 September 2022

Monday 26th September

STEPHEN LOSES HIS RAG WITH LEO When Leo’s dad Teddy warns him he’s mad to chuck his life away on a woman twice his age who can’t be trusted, Leo voices his doubts to Gemma. On a mission to prove that Stephen is a liar, Leo speaks to the estate agent who was booked to value Audrey’s house, before eavesdropping on a conversation with Gabrielle. Contronting Stephen, Leo reveals he heard every word and knows his plan is to get his hands on the equity from Audrey’s house to pay her back. As he follows Leo him onto the factory gantry, Leo taunts him, threatening to call Audrey. How will Stephen react?

THE STREET REACTS TO THE SHOOTING The police start questioning over the shooting.

JAMES WEIGHS UP HIS CAREER A downbeat James confides in Aggie that he’ll never be the player that he was and his career is all but over. Ed and Michael tell James not to make any rash decisions. 

ELSEWHERE When Bernie accidentally smashes the first golf trophy Aadi ever won while cleaning, Dev’s apoplectic and sacks her on the spot. Desperate for cash, Bernie finds Fern’s card and gives her a call. During Evelyn’s first shift at the charity shop, Joy lays down the ground rules whilst Evelyn is forced to bite her tongue. After making a call Evelyn reveals she’s off to Cornwall for a few days. 

Glenda Young
Twitter: @Flaming_Nora
Fancy writing a guest blog post for us? All details here!  
Follow us on Twitter and Like us on Facebook 

All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License

Saturday, 24 September 2022

Coronation Street Episode Review Friday 23 September 2022

Greetings Corrie fans, it’s Kelly here with your Friday night review.

Straight into the drama, as baldy gangster Kieron and his no. 2 henchman take Kelly to the roof of an industrial estate and reveal their devious plan. They’re going to force her to jump to her death and then put the gun used to kill Gary in her hand and make it look like a murder-suicide.

Clearly I’m no master criminal, but this plan does seem to have a few holes. Where is a 17-year-old supposed to have got hold of a gun for a start? And wouldn’t they have preferred to get their mitts on Kel’s money rather than having to go to all this trouble? We’ve all seen Line of Duty guys; your DNA and CCTV images are gonna be everywhere.

But there’s no time for this, as Batman and Robin Gary and Aadi are racing to Kelly’s rescue. Telling Aadi to call the police, Gary rushes to the roof and begs Baldy to kill him and not Kelly. But he’s having none of it and fires, only for Aadi-faster-than-a-speeding-bullet-Alahan to jump in front and take the bullet himself. As he lies bleeding, and with the police approaching, the two hapless villains flee the scene.

Back in the Rovers, slimy Stephen is still nursing the smack in the mouth he got from Leo. Jenny tries to explain that it was just a silly mistake but Mr Sinkhole storms off. Meanwhile David demands an explanation for Stephen’s lies and for what he actually does - apart from swanning around being Canadian? We’ve all wondered that, Dave. His attempts to squirm his way out are made more difficult when Gabriella turns up and threatens to tell Audrey everything unless she gets her money back. As Jenny hits the bottle, Leo returns to tell her he loves her and Canada is back on. But when she’s out of the room he continues poking into what Stephen is up to. This is a shame because firstly, it clearly won’t end well and secondly, we didn’t get to see drunk Jenny which is one of my main reasons for watching this show.

In other news, Evelyn returns to the charity shop and wrestles the red anorak off Joy. She triumphantly returns it to Roy who point out it isn’t Hayley’s. To make amends Roy volunteers her to take some shifts in the charity shop.

Back at Wethy General, we discover that Aadi is indeed a superhero as he is awake and sitting up in bed about 10 minutes after being shot at close range. Much to Dev’s horror, it’s Kelly who goes to his bedside, where she tearfully tells him she is too toxic for him and hands him back the engagement ring.

Then it’s back to confront Gary. Telling her he doesn’t care if the police are coming, Gary tells her everything about Rick, Laura and why he took her in. Kelly tells him that she hasn't called the police because he was going to die for her and that while she couldn’t kill him, she can't forgive him.

He tells her to stay, but she says if she does, she’ll become just like her dad and leaves Wetherfield to make her way in the world with the possible smallest holdall. I went on an overnight stay to the New Forest once and took more shiz than that!  

So that’s the end of Kelly for now. Will we see her again? Do you want to? Let me know in the comments. I’m personally relieved that I don’t have to share my name anymore, it got terribly confusing.

Laters @mskelstar  

All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License


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