Cosy crimes and gritty sagas by Corrie Blog editor Glenda, published by Headline. Click pic below!

Monday 31 January 2022

Coronation Street Episode Review Friday 28 January 2022

Faye does not want to go back to prison so is covering up her connection to a possible crime whilst Emma is so freaked about it she attends Ted Spear's funeral and starts to bond with Ted's grandson until Faye sends her an urgent message with a "photofit" from the police of the girl in Ted's flat as seen by the delivery driver.  Even the best and brightest policeman living on Coronation Street cannot recognise the individual in the "drawing" (above) although it reminds him of "someone".  When he realises that it reminds him of Emma, Faye breaks down as if under a month of interrogation, waterboarding and truth drugs and tells Craig how the events unfolded.  Following some wise words from David (!) Craig, being an upstanding citizen and model policeman, is immediately converted into a Met Police employee and tells Faye that not only did he wish he had not heard what she had to say he is now going to start pretending that he never heard it!  Eh lad.  That might work in that there London but it butters no parsnips in Weatherfield. 

Bernie has been banished, for about 30 seconds.  Poor little Joseph also does a complete U-turn in about 20 seconds flat as he listens to various people laying into Granny Bernie (above).  He admits that she is not to blame and that Hope cooked up the disappearance to the loft.  Whilst Bernie might be allowed back by Gemini it seems unlikely that the rest of t'Street, Dev, Ches or anyone else (and apparently Beth is highly distraught as she tears a huge strip off Dev in the shop because she donated Kirk's birthday meal to Dev's appeal, so much so that Evelyn actually stands up for her boss and tells Beth to stop slandering him; why is Beth nearly always so objectionable?) is likely to forgive her actions in taking half the money and not being entirely honest about events.  She of course was simply trying to help the family out from under the mountain that the quads have caused (and frankly someone in social services ought to be on the doorstep most days of the week didn't they?).

When Lydia tells Daniel that she has tickets to a "poetry slam" I thought my hearing was deficient so consulted that interwebby thingy - and  yes they do exist.  (Monday - Salford).  Well who knew?  Anyway it is complicated because apparently Daisy's "influencees" (that's not a word is it? - the kids who hang on her every social media post) are Daniel's pupils and her social media posts will do the trick in getting them to go to "consent workshops" which Max sees as less important than "AV Club" until David puts him straight.  For once Daniel actually tells Lydia that he is going to talk to Daisy before doing so and when Lydia collects him from the Rovers (Ken is babysitting whilst Daniel and Lydia get slammed) it does look as though Daniel is not entirely sure which of the two dizzy dollies he actually wants to be with for the evening - until Lydia lays the law down with a sharp word (above).

I feel for Ty - County's opposition only had 9 men on the pitch and County still failed to win.

Leo moves into the pub and then gets summoned to work to be sacked (I assume that they have now filled in all the sinkholes in Weatherfield).  Jenny takes pity and says he need not pay rent whilst job hunting.  The ripple effect is that because Daisy wants a holiday in Gran Canaria she asks Jenny for a rent holiday; Leo overhears and arranges for his father to sub him the rent so he is paying his way (above).

I suppose the best news is that Elaine is back and telling Sally she has bought the wrong birthday card for Tim and that they should not have decorated the hospital room with banners and balloons.  Faye tells them both to take a chill pill as it was stress that put Tim in hospital.  Sally and Elaine exchange looks, however!  And they continue to exchange barbs (above) even when at Tim's bedside.  And Sally has given up her political ambitions so will have time to care for Tim - but Elaine volunteers to move for a while so that she can look after Tim whilst Sal is at work.  Sal seems less than pleased by the kind offer which Tim immediately accepts.

Even now, several days later, I think I am worried about the storytelling skills at ITV at the moment.  For example Craig is now suffering exactly the same problem as faced by Roy only a few weeks ago.  What is the purpose of Ronnie?  Has Leo no savings to sustain himself?  Why has Elaine turned into the mother-in-law from hell?  Why is Beth that nasty?  Why did we not see Hope being hung, drawn and quartered?  Is Lydia a closet bunny boiler?  And honestly Faye how you could you put Craig in that position?  And Emma why were you chatting up the grandson at the funeral? No doubt all the questions and many more may be answered next week.

Written by Chris Fewtrell and directed by Leon Lopez.


All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License

Preview of tonight's Coronation Street - Monday 31 January 2022


CRAIG CROSSES THE LINE OF DUTY When Craig reveals that they’re going to conduct another thorough search of Ted’s house, Faye’s horrified. 

DANIEL PUTS HIS FOOT IN IT When Lydia suggests to Daniel he should use the workshop to teach the boys about the history of feminism, Daisy’s disparaging. Daniel is pleasantly surprised when Max arrives and suggests that the reason he turned up for the workshop was because of David. When Max quizzes David about Daniel’s earlier comment, David’s unease is evident.

TIM ENJOYS PUTTING HIS FEET UP Sally and Elaine fuss over Tim and when Elaine presents him with a little servant’s bell to ring if he needs anything, Tim’s in his element.

ELSEWHERE  An upbeat Fiz tells Evelyn that Hope’s therapist reckons Hope’s recent antics were just those of a naughty girl and nothing more sinister.  Evelyn’s not convinced.

Asha confides in Aadi and Summer that she wants to apply to Glasgow University but worries that it’s too far home and she doesn’t like leaving Nina when she’s so vulnerable.


MAX LEARNS THE AWFUL TRUTH David realises he will have to tell Max what happened to him but he is furious with Daniel for putting him in this position.

SALLY’S PATIENCE WEARS THIN As Elaine fusses over Tim, it’s clear she’s getting on Sally’s nerves. When Tim reveals that Elaine’s going to stay until he’s fully recovered, Sally bites her tongue.

ELSEWHERE When Asha reveals that she’s having second thoughts about Glasgow University, Dev suspects that it’s because she doesn’t want to leave Nina. Tyrone steals himself and suggests to Fiz that there’s more to Hope’s behavioural problems than they first thought and it’s time they got a proper diagnosis.   In the cafe, Roy beats Sam at chess.  Sam heads out in a strop leaving Roy concerned.

Glenda Young
Twitter: @Flaming_Nora
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Sunday 30 January 2022

Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

If it's yellow, let it mellow.  Back at the turn of the year I didn't write a blog about the New Year's episodes.  Part of that was down to the fact that it was still the holidays, and so I was three parts panettone, two parts vodka, but a large part of it was down to the fact that I really didn't want to write about Sally Metcalfe peeing in Victoria Gardens.  That decision has come back to haunt me as they have returned this storyline a month on.  (Yes, this storyline gets an update, but we still don't know if David's got the sinkhole filled in, or if Robert is ever going to get a funeral).

So let's recap: Sally and Tim went to the Rovers on New Year's Eve, and because there was a queue for the pub toilets, she ended up weeing in the gardens on their way to the Red Rec.  Literally not one part of that sentence is realistic.  For a start, I can't believe any of the regulars at the Rovers ever use the pub toilets anyway.  They all live a couple of doors away.  Is Ken Barlow really going to perch himself on freezing cold, unclean porcelain, with all the neighbours hearing his grunts and groans, when he can go to number 1 and relax on his very own lavatory?  Even if we accept that Sally, for some reason, didn't want to leave the pub while they were still drinking, once they headed out for the Red Rec, she had to literally walk past her own front door.  Are we meant to believe that she was perfectly fine when she left the pub but, after walking another twenty yards towards the tram stop, she reached such a state of incontinence that she had to squat in a public place and couldn't even dash home?

And this is all without the added detail that it was Sally Metcalfe micturating behind the children's grow your own area.  Sally, a woman who buys Farrow and Ball paint and who boasts about her chimenea.  If it was Bernie or Beth, fair enough, but no, it was Weatherfield's Hyacinth Bucket.  She wouldn't dream of doing such a thing, not least because as a former mayor, she's well aware that the gardens will be maintained using Council Tax money and she would literally be splashing all over the efforts of public workers.

So that's the first half of this ridiculous story.  The second half is that someone took a photo of her squatting in amongst the azaleas, passed it to Councillor Cameron, who passed it on to the Gazette, who put it on their front page under the headline New Year's Wee which is, let's be honest, a terrible pun.  Then the police arrived and carted her off to the station and she resisted arrest so fiercely she put her foot through a vending machine.  It was, on every level, incredibly stupid.  Although perhaps the most unrealistic part was a maintenance man turning up that same day; I've seen vending machines in hospital waiting rooms and they typically offer only Aztec bars, Toffos and prawn cocktail Tudor Crisps.

All this was a genuine distraction from the proper, real drama of Sally's hurt over Tim hiding his triple bypass from her.  Fortunately they found a way to get round this by making the couple reconnect over... Tim weeing in a cardboard urinal.  Yes, we, the viewers of Corrie, got to watch in real time as Tim slipped his old chap inside the potty then emptied his bladder, in a moment which I think was meant to be heartwarming.  I'm forced to wonder if there's someone on the writing staff with a fetish they're expressing via the Metcalfes; remember when Tiny the horse kept letting go all over people in their back garden?  Save that sort of thing for the restricted area of AO3, thank you very much, and stop putting those of us who watch Corrie with a meal off our tea.

Also, can we take a moment to dwell on the fact that there is now nothing standing in the way of Maria becoming a councillor?  MARIA.  I can't wait for her to miss her first meeting at the Town Hall because she kept pulling a door marked "push".

There's a Woman About The Hospital.  The only good part of Tim's time under the knife was the reappearance of Elaine.  When she sold her share of Speed Daal entirely second hand, without making an appearance, I worried that Paula Wilcox had decided not to come back to the show for some reason.  She was great in her appearances and Elaine has real potential as a dithering, slightly irritating worrier, a Mavis Riley for the 21st Century.  She was also friends with Yasmeen, and I always want Yasmeen to have friends.  Now that Last of the Summer Wine is off the air, ITV should be going round contacting all those aging comedy legends it normally scooped up and casting them on Corrie.  Perhaps they've all been put off by them getting Les Dennis on the programme for two years and never once giving him a joke.  It's a joy to see Paula back, anyway, and the idea of her butting heads with Sally over Tim's care is delightful.  Give her whatever she wants to be permanent, even if it means her getting Barbara Knox's dressing room and Helen Worth's parking space.

When it rains, it pours.  Jenny's problems continued to mount up as her hot rugby playing boyfriend turned out to have an equally good looking dad who also fancied her.  Why do bad things keep happening to good people, eh?  Fortunately, everyone found it amusing rather than creepy, and I hope Jenny keeps Teddy's number for when she wants someone to watch The Gilded Age with while Leo's out clubbing.  Perhaps Teddy could go out with Daisy for a slightly weird foursome.  (Incidentally, Teddy mentioned that when they were at school together, he snogged Joanne Cresswell - who is an actual character who was Jenny's mate in the 80s!).

As usual, Kate Connor tried to ruin everything, even from 5,000 miles away, as she went to Carla to whine about not getting her inheritance yet.  Maybe Jenny would've been more inclined to hand the cash over if you'd actually bothered coming home for the funeral, eh Kate?  There was no mention of what she needed the money for, but in my imagination she's currently being held hostage by Malaccan pirates, demanding a huge cash transfer or they'd boil her in hot tar; unfortunately the lateness of Jenny's handover means she's going to suffer a horrible demise which means she will sadly never be able to return to the programme.  We also learned that Debbie and Jennie have put aside their rivalry over Ronnie and have become mates; this is very much A Good Thing, and I hope leads to several scenes of them putting the world to rights over a half dozen bottles of Shiraz.

Squint and you'll get it.  Are budgets so tight at Wethy Police that they're calling that an e-fit?  It looks like it was drawn using an Etch-a-Sketch.  No wonder they were so livid about Craig wasting police resources - he probably used up their last remaining supply of fingerprint powder and now they'll have to resort to talc.  Faye finally confessed everything to Craig, which made him pull this face:

...and I don't know about you, but it was worth it just for that.  Craig spent an hour and a half deciding what to do about the situation, then announced he was going to sacrifice all his moral standards to conceal the truth.  Yep, he's turned into another bent copper, just like Cres[the rest of this post has been deleted on legal advice].

Have some self-respect.  Lydia has seemed quite sparky and interesting so far, so what is she seeing is dull old stick Daniel Osbourne?  An answer came when she got them tickets for a poetry slam.  For those of you unaware, a poetry slam is a competition where poets read out their verse with dramatic delivery for prizes, and it is worse than having your genitals nailed to a horse's hoof.  Clearly if Lydia is willing to go to a poetry slam it means she is very, very desperate, and he could basically have sex with Daisy right in front of her and she'd still let him get away with it.  Daniel delayed the pleasure of listening to unwashed twenty year olds trying to rap about socialism for a little longer because he had to get Daisy to post something about consent on her Instagram.  They naturally flirted like mad the whole time, which seems wildly inappropriate.

Max, incidentally, refused to attend the consent workshops on the basis that he "wasn't a pervert".  He's right in a way because he really doesn't need to attend.  If he keeps wandering around wearing that hat consent won't be a problem because no girl in her right mind will come within five hundred yards of him.

The author is now off to play a quick game of All Around The Milky Way on his generic un-named console.  If you want to join him for a multiplayer session his username is @merseytart.

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Saturday 29 January 2022

Conversation Street Podcast Episode #507

On our latest podcast, we chat about the episodes of Coronation Street shown in the UK between the 24th and the 28th January 2022 (Episodes #10544 - 10549).

This week, Sally's bizarre decision to have a widdle in Victoria Gardens at New Year comes back to bite her in the bum when she's arrested during Tim's bypass operation. Is this the end of her political career? Meanwhile, the truth comes out about the lengths that Bernie has gone to in order to get some money for her family, Jenny's in for a shock when she meets Leo's dad, and things go from bad to worse for Faye and Emma when Craig finds out about their involvement in Ted's death. Will the notoriously loose lipped copper break a habit of a lifetime and actually be able to keep quiet about something for once?

Up next on the show, it's The Kabin, where we share our reactions to the news that Corrie is soon to be moving to three hour-long episodes a week. What will this mean for the show, and could the writing be on the wall for EastEnders now that it's going to be going head to head with the ITV soaps?

We round off the podcast with more of your listener feedback, including a discussion about the status - and believability - of Craig and Faye's relationship.

Street Talk: 00:05:35
The Kabin: 01:36:32
Feedback: 02:03:33

For our bonus podcast this week, we were joined by the lovely Kate Spencer, who recently departed the cobbles after two years of playing mischievous Grace Vickers. Kate chats about what it was like to be a part of the Coronation Street team throughout the pandemic, keep the secret about Tiana's true parentage, and do her Corrie-loving mum proud! As well as this, we find out how the absolutely lovely Kate is worlds away from nasty nanny Grace, and what she likes to get up to when she's not on our tellies.

You can subscribe to our podcast on iTunes, stream all our old episodes on our own site here, or click the play buttons above to give it a listen from the comfort of this very blog!

All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License


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