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Monday 21 January 2013

Coronation Street Weekly Update, January 21 2013

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Greetings and welcome to the Coronation Street Weekly Update. Find out more about the Coronation Street Weekly Updates and why they've been written for th'internet since 1995 at

The stage is set for the Weatherfield wedding of woe as Kirsty and Tyrone head to the church. Tyrone should never have walked up the aisle, he should have run, run fast and run far away. But no, walked up the aisle he did with Kirsty by his side and Fiz at the back in a pew. Phew. Kirk had done a brilliant job of being best man: “Your wedding day is the best day of my life,” he tells mate Tyrone, keeping the groom to schedule because “it all kicks off at 12 noon” and kicked off it did.

When the vicar got to the part about do you take this woman and do you take this man, Tyrone said ‘I Do’ while Kirsty most definitely didn’t. Instead, she took out Tyrone’s secret phone, the one Julie found down the sofa on Kirsty’s hen night, and read out texts instead of her vows, proving Tyrone’s adultery before they’d even wed.

But whose phone was Kirsty reading those texts from, the congregation wondered? Even Sally, who was oddly fascinator-less at the do, was agog. Agog. “I know, let’s ring it,” smirked Kirsty as Fiz’s phone started up.

She got it with a buzz and she got it with a ring and when Kirsty told her that her number was up, she got a ding-a-ling. But alas, it looks like Tyrone’s getting a ding-a-ling too when Kirsty tells him she’s not finished with him yet, not by a long chalk.

Over at Nick’s Bistro, Lewis get Gail into trouble by changing her order for bottles of olive from 5 to 500 just before she emails the order from (yes, I paused the live action to check it). Nick’s not best pleased with his mum, which was Lewis’ plan after all, and Lewis goes straight in for the kill, wooing Gail with empty promises and platitudes about nasty Nick. And in return , Gail wants passion. She coos, she whispers, she chucks herself at Lewis but Lewis pushes her away, telling her he wants their first time to be special, not upstairs under her floral BHS duvet that needs a good wash.

Elsewhere this week, there’s more nonsense at Underworld when Carla finds out Rob’s hacking into the knicker factory diary to steal their business and so she sets herself up as, hang on a minute as this is all too dull for words, it just goes round and round, doesn’t it? Oh yeah, and then Rob got into a taxi with Tracy which is soap shorthand for saying he’ll soon be the father of her unborn child and will soon be eating dessert from Deirdre’s phallic jelly mould.

Seaking of unborn babies, Kylie tells David she’s going to keep the baby although she still doesn’t know who the father really is. She doesn’t tell him that bit, of course, that’s her secret with Nick. Well, it is for now, but it’ll be all over the place soon, it’s too good a secret to be kept quiet for long.

Finally, there’s more unborn babies at th’ospickle when Tina goes for a scan with Gary and Izzy looking on, proud parents to be, sort of, in a roundabout way. They all stare at the screen from the ultrasound. “Is that a hand?” asks Gary. Yes, Gary, it is. And it’s reaching out to grab your wad of cash.

And that's just about that for this week. Remember, you can sign up to get these Corrie weekly updates by email at

This week's writers were Joe Turner, Jonathan Harvey, Peter Whalley, Mark Burt. Find out all about the Coronation Street writing team at

Glenda Young
Blogging away merrily at

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donna - Halifax said...

When was the last time anyone got married on Corrie that loved each other and were marrying for the first time, I don't mean Rita.

Anonymous said...

Roy and Hayley?


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