There's a nasty streak in Jim McDonald sometimes. He learnt there were new Environmental Health regulations for places that serve food so he ordered a hotpot in the Rovers then announced to the punters it was made in unsanitary conditions. This made Betty cry, and no-one should ever make Betty cry. Alec confessed to Bet he knew about the new regulations but he'd been putting off doing anything about it. Bet also provided a shoulder for Rita to cry on, as she confessed that while Boring Ted was a very nice bloke, he wasn't exactly Rudolph Valentino. Ted then surprised her with a bit of a snog and suddenly Reet was all a-quiver. Reg stopped bullying Vanessa and started kissing her backside, but he still blotted his copybook when her father - Lord Morgan, Grand High Poobah of Bettabuys - dropped in unannounced and Reg thought he was a pervert groping the apples for no good reason. Raquel and Des finally confessed that neither of them wanted her to leave, and they had a noisy wet snog that turned my stomach.
TUESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 20th and 23rd March 1992
With the Rovers unable to serve hot food, Alec got rid of Betty, making her cry again. Honestly, will nobody leave that poor woman alone? It made the profits tumble though so he eventually took her back on and hoped nobody reported them. She wasn't keen to return though. Unfortunately Percy had gone to the Town Hall to complain about 'Elf and Safety and put the Rovers on Environmental Health's radar. On the plus side Jim McDonald felt incredibly guilty that his gag had lost Betty her job. Reg got away with treating Vanessa like dirt because Lord Morgan appreciated his refusal to kowtow, but she still transferred to Walsall to get away from the little toad. Kevin was still doing fake invoices for Halliwell's, but since they'd paid off the bribe for the contract, he suggested to Mike they should drop them. Mike dismissed the idea because they were making a nice profit so Kevin sent in a sarcastic invoice talking about gold and mink accessories. Baldwin threatened him with the sack. And Rita decided to marry Boring Ted, even though he was very boring indeed, giving Mavis and Derek hope they could buy the Kabin when she moved to Florida.
WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 25th and 27th March 1992
There was good news in the Platt household as Martin passed his aptitude test, meaning he could start nursing training a month later. Gail was concerned about him bettering himself. The Environmental Health officer visited the Rovers and took a look round their kitchen. First of all, it was huge, and bore no relation to that little galley they use now. It had an extension at the back and everything! Secondly, it was horrible, with cracked tiles and meter boxes on show and generally looking like a salmonella outbreak waiting to happen. Mr Steele gave them an ultimatum; clean it up or stop serving food. A reinstated Betty was understandably concerned, though at least Alec found someone to take his fury out on when he discovered Percy was the one who grassed them up to the Council. Raquel and Des hosted dinner for Curly and Angie, with Raquel doing the cooking. When Angie noted she couldn't smell it cooking, Raquel purred "that's the advantage of boil in the bag, in't it?". Derek was offered a job just as Rita agreed to sell the Kabin to the Wiltons, leaving him worried that they were throwing away a secure future for the gamble of owning their own business. Mavis confessed that it had always been her dream to own a backstreet sweet shop and she'd rather they spent all day together in penury than be rich and apart.
THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 30th March and 1st April 1992
There were money concerns swilling all round the Street in today's episodes. Alec got in some fitters to get estimates for the new catering kitchen. Unfortunately they all turned out to be thorough and efficient, annoying tightwad Gilroy, as their estimates were all much more than he wanted to play. He finally agreed to get it done for seven grand, hoping that the trustees for Vicky's parents' estate would cough up the cash they owed him. Mavis and Derek did their calculations and worked out they'd need a bank loan of £45,000 to buy the Kabin. Emily suggested someone of Derek's age might not get it but he did so it looked like all systems go. Reg Holdsworth was trying to ram a wedge inbetween Rita and Boring Ted. When she got a valuation of £30,000 for number 7, he encouraged Curly to bid £20,000 instead - an amount that Rita found positively insulting, and when Curly suggested as sitting tenants they could make things difficult for a new purchaser, she said she'd let their tenancies run out. Angie was predictably furious. Reg did some digging on Boring Ted and discovered his wife had drowned; he suggested to Rita that Ted might have murdered her, as if he could be that interesting. She tore him a new one and threw him out of her flat.
As it's Easter, there's no Classic Corrie on Friday or Monday. This isn't out of respect for Our Lord Jesus Christ, but is so they can marathon Carry On films instead. Commiserate with @merseytart over on Twitter.
Classic Corrie is on ITV3 (most) weekdays at 14:50.
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