I wonder what happened to Kylie's family therapy sessions for her drug issues? Perhaps she abandoned them after they turned into a bit of a farce. There's no Platt palaver tonight though as Sarah makes a break in her therapy by by re-living the night of Callum's death, but changing the end of the story so that Callum walks out of the Platts' house alive. Perhaps by imagining a scenario in which Callum escaped, but which didn't actually happen, she is able to regain control. I loved the scene with baby Harry in which he's staring saucer-eyed at something off set, he looks like he's thinking: "Does this make me an accessory?" David reckons that the nightmare is finally over - (or is it only just beginning?) But in the meantime, it looks like Sarah is over the worse of it.
Not so Bethany. After being turned down for a summer job at the cafe, she falls for Lauren's sympathetic schtick and ideas of getting a job in House of Fraser. Leaving Roy's Rolls, the gang of bullies circle her like crows (how long were they all waiting there for?) to push her around, pull her hair, and call her a psycho. Poor Beffneh. Really, hasn't a bunch of 16 year olds got more exciting things to do? There are alcopops to quaff, lipsticks to shoplift, boys to sext. They're a bit lacking in imagination.
Ken is having to do his own bullying to get people to go and visit Tracy in the hospital. Amy refuses, but Todd reluctantly goes to try out his "dry wit" on his boss, which involves telling her that Ken would pick out the best wreath for her funeral. Todd is useless as a GBFF.
Phelan continues his run of petty intimidation by insisting that the rent on Tony's flat, currently occupied (and painted lilac and yellow) by Steph and Andy, should increase. Into the middle of this walks Michael, back from Brighton, to pour boiling oil on the flames, reducing the period of grace/cheaper rent from two months to four weeks. Phelan calls Michael a "loser", but as we know from The Other Soap, every loser (eventually) wins. Underestimate Michael at your peril, Evil Phelan! The upshot is that Michael moves back in with his fake son and will begin the War On Phelan once he's unpacked his underwear and charged his electric toothbrush.
In tonight's comedy storyline, Erica can't go to a posh spa with Dev, so instead, he takes Mary for some hotel high jinks. After a) a mix up with the hotel booking b) a particularly painful back wax (Dev, not Mary) and c) free booze from the hotel (pity Tim isn't there, he would have got free fig crostini with apricot drizzle for a month), the two end up lolling around the hotel room together, drunk. I do hope Dev got that pedicure.
Meanwhile, Todd and Billy flirt over carnations and custard creams, and Sophie and Luke are conspiring to unmask "nemesis" Caz and her non-gammy leg, whilst Freddie advises them against meddling. Freddie, you do know you've fetched up in a soap, don't you?
Rachel Stevenson - on twitter.
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