First of all we have Steve with his one true love - Rover the dog. He has a heart to heart with her about another fine mess he's got himself into. Rover isn't the only one who hears his confession though: by the end of the first half of epsiode one, he's told all to his mum, who is, and I quote: "looking forward to the fireworks". I think we all are, Liz. After suffering stomach pains in the street, Leanne goes to A&E, accompanied by Michelle - the dramatic irony is not lost on Leanne. Every kind of irony is lost on Michelle as she talks about Paul babysitting Ryan (the same Paul who locked Leanne in a car boot), Ryan, who only phones once a fortnight (what about her "other" son, Alex?) and then goes on to harry Leanne about who the father is, whether he knows, what's his name etc etc. Ever thought your presence might be more of a hindrance than help, Michelle? But Leanne, although anxious, is glad that Michelle is there when she's waiting and when she gets the all clear, and Steve is pleased as well. Leanne tells him that the only way he can play a part in his child's life is if he tells Michelle and since he doesn't want to do that, and risk losing his wife, they agree that they will never speak of this again. For now.
There are quite a few people who are now under oath not to say anything - Simon, Steph, Liz, Michelle and Steve, of course, and they all want to spill the beans. Michelle, with her new honesty is the only policy outlook, breaks the news to Steve (or so she thinks) and confesses that she has changed her mind and now wants a child of her own. Just keep an eye on the baby's tag this time, Michelle. Steve wonders if God is having a laugh: chucking stuff down on him and seeing how he'll deal with it. I guess by God he means Kate Oates.
Jenny Bradley uses the excuse of creating a distraction to cover up Sally using Underworld's photocopier for "very important council business" to have her own tête-à-tête with her boss-slash-lover. Johnny, in a very bass-player-in-a-pub-rock-band waistcoat, thinks they should call it a day because of the difference in their roles at the factory and because of Kate's romantic troubles. "She's a grown woman," quoth Jenny Bradley and she's not wrong. If Johnny keeps coddling Kate, she'll become self-righteous and unforgiving - oh hang one, she's like that already.
Later, a mix up about meeting locations leads the young and handsome Mr Singh Jnr to ask Jenny Bradley (in another sexy outfit from her ever revolving and evolving wardrobe) out for a drink and a little kiss goodnight, with Johnny and Aidan as witnesses. Jenny Bradley, you saucepot! Johnny comes round, then goes around to Jenny's, where she tells him to treat her with a bit of respect and "the kisses will come thick and fast", You minx, Jenny Bradley!
Luke lets the Caz out of the bag, and tells Sophie, who of course immediately spills it to Kate, that her ex is staying at Maria's (not Maria and Luke's), which leads to a couple of showdowns as Kate spits feathers at Maria and tells Caz she never wants to see her again, which is a bit difficult since she lives, as Luke points out, "twenty yards away". Caz has more bad news as she finds out that the court martial is set for a month's time, but Maria says that she can stay at hers (not hers and Luke's) for as long as she wants, much to Luke's annoyance.
Meanwhile, Gemma gets free sweets and (almost) a gratis cut and blow dry for doing the right thing and dobbing in Clayton to the police. David is unimpressed - if she hadn't been friends with Macca, and, by extension, Clayton, in the first place, the brothers wouldn't have been hanging around. David is back at the salon, working like nothing has happened, even sweeping Kylie's nail equipment into the bin. Audrey tells him to go home to sort out the funeral arrangements - what about looking after the two children?? - but he is only floored when Mrs O'Hara who, presumably doesn't read the local paper or watch ITV Weatherfield news, asks after his wife.
Elsewhere, Sally is still worried abut the furore over Barry the missing dog. I do hope we'll see more of the Mayor and his partner. But perhaps less of Sally's pelvic floor exercises.
Rachel Stevenson - personal website
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