Saturday, 3 November 2018

Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week


Ken Barlow remains the absolute worst.  It says so much about Ken's decades of self-centred self-righteousness that the show was able to craft a half hour episode that was just his relatives talking about how awful he is.  It wasn't even every Barlow available: I'm sure Tracy would've had plenty to contribute, not to mention Adam, Simon, Amy, and long-lost homophobic son Linus Roache.  Hell, it was almost Hallowe'en - whip out a Ouija board and see if Susan had anything to add.  Even when he looked at a picture of him with Deirdre, the closest thing Ken has to a love of his life (apart from himself, of course), it was a picture from the ill-fated first marriage - the one he wrecked by diddling Wendy flamin' Crozier.  Still, it meant a lot of references to the past - Val! Ken sending the twins off to Scotland so they could come back after twenty years without so much as a Scottish accent! - which are always pleasing, and it was good to see Daniel and Peter getting along.


It even caused Peter to reflect on his chequered past, and he revealed that he still has a picture of Twist from Spaced Lucy Barlow in his wallet.  Of course it's one of those fold out wallets, and if he let it drop it would reveal pictures of all his other wives - Jessica, Shelley, Leanne and Carla - and it'd drag three feet along the cobbles behind him.


History is cyclical.  This week Jenny Bradley acquired a comfy stool in the corner of the bar area so she could survey her empire.  Hmmm... a proud landlady who's been through the wringer and back, cross legged at the back of the Rovers while her older, somewhat henpecked husband looks on?  Reminds me of something...


I'm crossing all my fingers that Jenny will start wearing Bet's old wigs as well.


Cancer is terrible, but also, handy.  Sinead was barely out of hospital, simpering on the sofa and wanting to watch films about loveable dogs (how old is she again?) before Daniel started using her illness to get freebies.  He sallied along to the kebab shop and played on Chesney's emotions to get burger and chips on the house, then the next day used Sinead's sickness to get Kate to take over his shift.  Expect a lot of that over the next few months.  "Oh, I'd love to help you move house, but my wife has cancer."  "Yes I could do some shopping, but my wife has cancer."  Incidentally, why would he go to Prima Doner and have burger and chips?  Surely if he was there he'd much prefer a nice kebab.


Ah.  Fair enough. 


Underworld is less a factory, more a drop in centre.  Carla needs to fit a decent security door at the front of the unit because it's constantly being filled with interlopers.  Daniel wanders in to bring Sinead her lunch...


...Gary gets up with the lark so he can have a spot of desk-based nookie before work...


...and Nicky Tilsley nips in just for a chat with his sister, preventing her from doing anything useful (if Sarah-Lou ever does anything useful, of course).  It gets more passing trade than Roy's.  No wonder it's always on the verge of bankruptcy - there isn't time to stitch knickers when you're in the middle of a coffee morning.  Mind you, Nicky actually has a reason to be there now he's bought Peter's share in Underworld.


See?  If Carla had put a proper lock on the entrance - perhaps something with a key code - then Nicky wouldn't have been able to intrude on her white hot chemistry with Mr Barlow.  They probably would've resolved everything with a torrid sex session up against the filing cabinet, instead of having Tilsley come in and smother their flames with his moist fire blanket of a personality.


There's such a thing as fish that's too fishy.  I wouldn't have put Tim down as a fussy eater, but he turned his nose up at a tuna sandwich because it was "too fishy".  This does of course raise the question: what fish isn't too fishy?  Salmon?  Eels?  Nemo?  You might think his subsequent declaration that having two bananas in one day would be "weird" as further proof of his odd eating habits, but that one's just sensible.  Never forget that Peter Andre was once hospitalised with a potassium overdose after eating too many bananas.  It's best to limit yourself to just one banana a day, to be safe, and replace any cravings for more with something healthier, like a pint of bitter or a nice ciggy.

The author spent much of Friday's episodes confused about Robert's shock that Ali was a killer, because he thought Michelle grassed her son up weeks ago.  Or it may just be that this storyline has gone on for so long it's starting to echo round in @merseytart's head on a permanent loop and Michelle sobbing will be burned on the inside of his eyeballs until he welcomes the sweet release of death.






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12 comments:

David said...

I'm getting sick and tired of Scott's attacks on Ken.

Anonymous said...

Ken deserves them. He has always been so smug, thinking he is superior to everyone else. The Classic Corrie episodes highlight this.

coconno196 said...

Agree. Ken has made mistakes but he's not all bad. As I recall, Linus Roache / Laurence's mother never told Ken she was pregnant. Ken only learned of his existence when Laurence's conman son turned up 40 years later. Also, it wasn't easy for single fathers in the 60s. Harry Hewitt even put his daughter Lucille into an orphanage. So Ken sending the twins to Val's parents in Scotland gave them a stable family home. Of course, the lack of visits or even a mention wasn't very realistic. I think they did appear briefly as young teenagers with Scottish accents which they'd mysteriously lost by adulthood.

David said...

Exactly what is often forgotten is that Ken sent them off to Scotland because he couldn't provide a home for the twins it was meant to temporary. In fact at one point Ken wanted Peter to come stay with him after Peter had flunked his exams, but Peter wanted to stay in Glasgow. Funny how that never got mentioned.

Anonymous said...

All this Ken bashing was too much. Yeah he wasn't perfect, but he could have got Daniel and Peter sent to jail for their shenanigans. Susan got up the duff by his arch nemesis. Don't even get me started with Tracey; he didn't have to adopt her ungrateful arse. As for Deirdre, well she cheated on him with Mike, smoked like a chimney and littered the household with her crap crockery. Stone and glass houses come to mind.

abbyk said...

Feel exactly the same about Ken sending away the twins. It was a different time and if a widowed man had the grandparents option, he took it and went back to work to ‘provide’. The story was also told from Peter’s perspective as recalled from childhood. And it got Ken (and us), who was already in an emotionally receiving state, to feel Peter’s hurt.

Sure, all of us who live to an age have some regrets. Doesn’t make us monsters, though. For Ken the thinking man, it can be a late in life turning point and change his outlook if not his opportunities. I actually watched Monday’s 2nd again yesterday. It was so good it almost worked as a stand-alone short play.

Anonymous said...

I'm also getting tired of the Ken bashing as the Barlow children need to take some responibility for their actions.
Peter seems to have conviently forgotten that Ken was the only one who believed in his innocence when Tina was murdered [whom he cheated on Carla with]and Daniel is now exploiting Sinead's cancer for sympathy and freebies something that Ken wouldn't even think of doing.

I wonder was Sarah going to a nightclub after work as she was way overdressed in a cocktail dress working in the factory.
I bet with her brother as the boss,Sarah will probably take liberties[days off] and throw her weight around with the girls.

Louby said...

I'm with Scott and Anon at 21.10. Not so much over Peter and Susan going to their grandparents but as Anon pointed out, he's always felt superior to everyone else, right from very first episode when he was looking down on his Dad for drinking tea with his meal!

He has been behaving appallingly in the classic episodes lately. His character still being pretty much the same after all these years is a credit to the script writers, when so many other characters change so drastically during their time on the street.

Laura said...

I agree that everyone has to take responsibility for their actions, and Peter, Daniel, Adam and Tracy can't blame Ken for their life choices. Having said that, I don't feel Scott's write up is over the top with respect to Ken. He is smug, self-righteous and a roaring hypocrite, and has made a lot of horrible choices. I miss Blanche, who was always ready and able to take him down a peg or two. Would love to see her doing the same with the rest of the Barlow clan right about now.

Shells said...

Ken was a good dad to Amy. Not sure about the rest. He's a great grandfather to Amy and Simon.

Shells said...

Sorry, I meant Ken was a good dad to Tracy, not Amy.

MartinS said...

Shells said...

Sorry, I meant Ken was a good dad to Tracy, not Amy.

Is that why Tracy spent 1999 to 2002 upstairs listening to her tapes, before re-emerging with a full body transplant?

A Radio Times article in 2012 reported that Ken had had 28 on-screen flings, in addition to 4 marriages to 3 different women. Furthermore, according to Corriepedia, he lost his virginity at 15 (c. 1954) to fellow pupil Margery Whithers. Who knows how many more conquests there were between then and Susan Cunningham's appearance in 1960?

On the other hand, Bill Roache boasted to Piers Morgan that he'd slept with over 1,000 women, putting his alter ego Ken in the shade.

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