Saturday, 1 June 2019

Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week


Villains, villains, everywhere.  I know we're meant to be recoiling in horror that Gary has been revealed as the newest Corrie supervillain but frankly his efforts were insignificant.  All he did was knock a few joists about; he didn't mean to hurt anyone.  (Incidentally, it's hilarious in retrospect that ITV tried to pretend Robert was a suspect in the roof collapse, given that he had literally one scene in the show all week and that was delivering jugged hare to Sally).  Similarly, Rick smacking Gary about between bites of ciabatta was pretty low-grade evil too.  The real scumbags of the week were Nicky and David, for the simple reason that they made Audrey's face do this:


How dare they.  How dare they treat our Aud that way.  If she'd pushed them both in the lake and held their heads under the water until they drowned I'd have willingly provided a false alibi.  Her heart broke and her spirit too as Nicky's quite gratuitously unpleasant swindling was revealed to her.  Worse, it then made Gail pull this face:


Helen Worth and Sue Nicholls were unsurprisingly brilliant all week, with Helen in particular showing that if Gail is given some actual drama and meaty dialogue she can handle it with aplomb.  Maybe stop writing Gail like she's a toddler now, hey?  I'm not sure how the Brothers Grim are going to dig themselves out of this hole now.  Despite Nicky's desperate attempts to get David to take the blame, he was very much wrapped up in the crime, and should definitely be going down for a long stretch.  Mind you, Tracy Barlow literally clubbed a man to death and they used that as a comedy punchline last week, so who knows what can happen.


Never mind the acting, look at that set.  I realise this makes me a terrible person, but I was far too distracted by the backdrop of Peter's dramatic rescue to pay attention to the foreground.  The former gym's had workmen round it for ages and it looks like it's being converted into flats, judging by the Juliet balcony on the right there.  This is not to demean Alison King's performance in her one woman re-enactment of Don't Look Now; she was as superb as she always is.  I suppose I'm just finding it hard to engage with Carla developing another crippling condition that everyone will forget about in six months time.  Remember when she got a new kidney and was soon swigging red wine again?  In fact, remember when she had to give up the red wine altogether because she was an alcoholic?  Or that time she had a gambling addiction?  This time next year she'll have a terrible compulsive sherbert dib-dab habit and we'll have all forgotten this ever happened.


Corrie is famous for its sophisticated humour.  LOL THE HORSE DUN A POO


LOL THE HORSE DUN A WEE ON A MAN'S SHOES.  LOL. 


Natalie is a Time Lord.  Finally we got to the bottom of Natalie's mysterious origins: she's not from Nottingham, she's from Gallifrey, given her amazing talent at speeding through time and space without trouble.  In Monday's episode, she told Leanne about the police investigation, then managed to arrive at the holiday park in the South Lakes before Leanne could call Nick.  Then, on Tuesday, she sent Nick a goodbye text as she legged it:


...but didn't actually spot the police until the next scene, implying she went back in time to send the message.


Clearly she's able to bend space and time to her will.  But how does she get about?  The answer is clear: the holiday park is entirely filled with Tardises.  It would also explain how Audrey, Gail, Sarah-Lou, Bethany, Nicky, David, Shona, Max, Lily and Harry (plus Leanne and Oliver if they'd turned up) all managed to fit in a single wooden hut for a week's holiday.


Although having said that, it's difficult to count the kids as being on the holiday in any real sense, as their parents packed them off to the Kids Club on the first day and they were barely seen after that.  At one point Bethany revealed all the children were going raft building, raising the admittedly intriguing idea of two-year-old Harry lashing planks together with rope and casting off.


Weatherfield Council really needs to put in alley gates.  Yet again, a character wandered down that little alleyway by the pocket park, and yet again, they got smacked about the head.  It's about ten yards long and yet it's got the crime rate of a tenement in inner city Detroit.  Stick a gate on the end, put in CCTV, brick the damn thing up; stop the madness before someone gets killed down there.

Carla's social worker was a man called Scott.  Scott spent the week being ignored by characters despite him having their best interests at heart, telling Weatherfield Police they were terrible at their job, and coming up with solutions to problems that were immediately chucked down the toilet.  This may be the closest @merseytart ever gets to being in Corrie.






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6 comments:

Pat said...

I love reading your summaries. They make me laugh so much more than the supposed humour on the show. Thank you.

Louby said...

Conditions that have been forgotten must include Gary's PTSD - tied to a chair and beaten to a pulp would kick it off again surely?

I was thinking the same about Robert. And the big reveal when it finally came felt like a big so what to me.

Anonymous said...

I did wonder why wasn't Leanne and Oliver invited on the holiday?It seemed weird that Nick would go off without them.
I thought Audrey was going to cancel the holiday and give the refund money to Sarah and Gary who were broke at the time?

Anonymous said...

You obviously didn't watch Monday's episode! Nick and Leanne had been rowing. Leanne and Oliver were invited, but Leanne decided she didn't want to go. Nick lied and said Oliver was poorly when he joined up with his family at the cabin. See, it's all there if you'd have chosen to watch

Anonymous said...

"[Gary] didn't mean to hurt anyone." He never does though, does he? Except all the times he does, but mostly he just messes up big time again and again, endangering people's lives in the worst cases, including his so-called loved ones, through arrogance, recklessness and stupidity. Then he says he's sorry and he never meant for this to happen but he was desperate, never really seeming sincere, and never, EVER learning from any of his mistakes. He's a garbage person.

CK said...

How many times now has Gary been hit in the head?? It must be made of stone, not fracturing and no concussions. Great summary! I always laugh out loud reading them!

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