Saturday, 5 January 2019

6 dead Corrie residents spinning in their graves

Guest blog post from Jade Rainbow who is on Twitter: @MissJE1994

Fancy writing a guest blog post for us? All details here! 

Because I can't seem to just sit and watch Corrie like any normal person, Audrey's problems with Lewis this week got me to thinking about poor Alf and how he would've been gutted to see Audrey a) going through such a difficult time, and b) being so silly with her choice of men. Why on earth did she turn down the big men with big hearts like Archie Shuttleworth and Fred Elliot who seemed far more like Alf than smoothie Lewis? Anyway, that got me to thinking about other departed residents who would probably drop dead all over again if they could see what their friends and family had been getting up to in their absence.

1. Kylie Platt (Died 15th July 2016)

Poor Kylie was on cloud nine before she was fatally stabbed by Clayton Hibbs, having just made the decision to relocate to Barbados with her husband and children to live with her sister Becky. As she lay bleeding outside The Rovers, she used her dying breaths to tell David that he and the kids should still go to Barbados as planned, before she departed this mortal coil. In the weeks that followed, David spiralled into despair, seriously considering killing himself and Clayton, but actually only managing to cause a fireball in the street that scarred Anna Windass for life. Even once he'd seen the light, he still didn't  head to the airport, instead he stuck around on the unluckiest street in the world and shacked up with Shona Ramsey, none other than the mother of Clayton himself. Even upon learning the truth about her, it didn't take David long to see past it, and Shona is now living in the family home and filling in as a mum to Kylie's children, neither of whom seem to mention her at all. Poor Kylie.

2. Kal Nazir (Died 25th May 2015)

If Kal was given the opportunity to reverse his fate and return to his previous life, I honestly think he'd turn it down and opt for a quiet life in heaven given all the goings on within his family in recent years. Daughter Alya's boyfriend was murdered, then she briefly dated a rapist, as well as being embroiled in the various internal politics of Underworld for most of last year, while son Zeedan's partner Rana had a change of heart regarding her sexuality and started seeing Kate Connor behind his back. Zee did find time to open a restaurant, but once he'd managed to get his head round the fact that Rana actually preferred being stuck with Controlling Kate, he scarpered in a taxi never to be seen again.  Kal's parents also separated after Yasmeen discovered that Sharif had been having an affair for several years, I'm not sure when he found the time but a storyline was needed for his hasty exit so there you go. Oh and finally, since Kal's death, Leanne Battersby has managed to work her way through most of the men on the street, had a baby with Steve McDonald, and ended up back with Nick AGAIN! She's now back living in the flat where he died and did have the good grace to mention him briefly in a recent episode, which is only fair really seeing as the only reason he died was because he hung around on the balcony asking her to marry him rather than shimmying down the ladder away from the flames.

3. Tina McIntyre (Died 2nd June 2014)

Tina ultimately lost her life because she was stupid enough to get involved with Peter Barlow, who's never been any good at manogamy so she was pretty much wasting her time right from the start. Peter was of course married to Carla Connor at the time, and when her brother Rob found out about the affair, well, Tina's fate was sealed. What is so terribly unfair about her death, and the reason she's probably looking down in disgust, is the fact that no one really seemed bothered or affected in the long run. Peter and Carla split up and both became involved with about a hundred different people, before subtly gravitating back towards each other at the end of the year. Gary and Izzie, who she was a surrogate for, scarcely remember the son she carried for them let alone Tina herself, and Rita, who had been like a surrogate mother to her, quickly got over the fact that she slapped her in the face the last time she saw her alive, and welcomed back her original foster daughter Jenny Bradley and took a shine to Gemma Winter. Tina who? Carla did at last acknowledge her existence briefly late last year by deliberately interviewing a lookalike to test Peter, but Tina had been out of people's minds for so long that the lookalike didn't really look very much like her at all.

4. Molly Dobbs (Died 6th December 2010)

Kevin Webster spent much of 2009 hopelessly in love with Molly, but now apparently doesn't have any memory of her (he has form for this - see number 6). After all the drama involving Kevin, Molly and Tyrone, Molly finally decided to leave Weatherfield for good, telling Ty that baby Jack wasn't his and saying goodbye to Kevin, telling him he would never see his son again. How annoying then that just a few minutes later the tram crash left her trapped and fighting for her life in the corner shop. When Molly realised she was dying, she had no choice but to confess all to Kevin's wife Sally who just so happened to be the person sitting with her during her final moments. Her death meant that Kevin, who had originally burnt the baby scan photo, got to keep Jack and raise him alone. It's a wonder Molly hasn't come back to haunt Kev as punishment for the appalling job he's made of it so far, in little Jack's short life he's been kidnapped by Jenny Bradley, almost run over by a tram and lost his foot to sepsis, none of which would've happened if Molly had been left in charge obviously. And worse still, Kevin couldn't even bring himself to say something along the lines of "your mum would've been proud of you" during the whole sepsis ordeal, I don't think Jack knows he ever even had a mum! To give Kevin his dues though, the lad does appear to have grown on him since the burnt photo incident and, lost foot aside, he's doing his best.

5. Charlie Stubbs (Died 15th January 2007)

Okay, Charlie Stubbs was no angel, and he did treat Shelley Unwin quite horrifically, but to the best of my knowledge he never actually killed anyone. In fact, the only wrong he did to his killer Tracy Barlow was cheat on her. That's right, cheat on her, that thing that pretty much EVERYONE does to their partner at one time or another in Soapland. But what did he get for it? A whack round the head with a statue and a one way ticket to the pearly gates. Justice was at least served though when Tracy was sentenced to fifteen years in prison for his murder, despite trying to play the battered woman who snapped card. Oh wait, that didn't really happen either, because less than four years later Tracy was out on a technicality and free to live her life, which is more than could be said for Charlie. Since her release, Tracy mostly spends her days arranging flowers at Preston's Petals, the fact that she is a murderer simply being an accepted part of everyday life. In her spare time she set fire to Victoria Court in an attempt to kill Carla Connor, but actually succeeded in ending the lives of Kal Nazir and Maddie Heath, and more recently she tampered with the breaks on Michelle's car which caused no end of chaos. But nothing sticks to Teflon Tracy, she continues to get away with murder, literally, and probably always will. She's now married to Steve McDonald and, on discovering he had cheated on her with Leanne Battersby, she let him get really burnt and left behind on their honeymoon in Morocco, not quite on a level with the revenge she wreaked on Charlie, who is no doubt looking down (or up) in complete disbelief at the sheer injustice of that.

6. Jake & Alison Webster (Died 5th & 7th June 2000 respectively)

Back to Kevin Webster and his two second memory. Long before he got involved with Molly, his marriage to Sally crumbled for the first time and he dated then married Alison. They had a son together, Jake (which is so close to Jack it's ridiculous - but seeing as Kevin didn't name Jack I'll let that go), but tragically he died shortly after his birth, and Alison, overcome with grief, kidnapped Bethany Platt then threw herself under a lorry. And now, it's as if none of it ever happened. Kevin even remarked at Maddie Heath's funeral that it must be hard having to bury a child, um well yes Kevin, you should know! It's one thing to forget the mother of your child as in the case of Alison and Molly, but to forget your child as well, come on Kev, that's just really not good enough. No one is expecting him to mope about during every episode, especially as it's been nearly twenty years, but a little reminder now and then would be acceptable. For example, Kevin could have said "I can't lose ANOTHER child" during Jack's recent brush with death, and given how upset Sophie was at the prospect of losing her little brother, she could have given a mention to the other one. Maybe it's a Jake thing, as I mentioned before, Gary and Izzie seem to have forgotten theirs too!

Guest blog post from Jade Rainbow who is on Twitter: @MissJE1994

Fancy writing a guest blog post for us? All details here!

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Anonymous said...

I enjoyed this. No one ever learns from his or her past in soaps Perhaps the ghosts of Christmases past should visit all these persons.

Anonymous said...

i would add Sarah'sand Todd's son Billy Grimshaw to the list of Corrie residents turning over in their graves.
When Todd was living on the Street,he would talk about his son from time to time even visiting his son's grave but now that he's gone,little Billy is forgotten by his grandmothers Eileen and Gail and his mother Sarah who never even visited her son's grave with his older sister and younger brother.

MartinS said...

With Jake, Jack and Joseph it's really confusing!

Not to mention that Joseph Brown and Hope Stape are twins in real life.

And how are we supposed to believe that Jack is only 2 months older than Hope, even if she was born prematurely? In real life, Kyran Bowes will be 12 in April and Bella Flanagan turned 8 a couple of days ago - a month younger than her character.

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