It's best not to get involved. You're a cabbie. You've got an airport run with two women. The daughter suddenly starts screaming because she's realised it's a one way ticket. Her lesbian lover starts hammering on the door. Her husband starts shouting through the other window. The mother reveals she was planning on kidnapping the daughter. What do you do? If you're the guy above, you sit there in absolute silence while bedlam erupts around you, before finally, grudgingly disengaging the central locking. He really couldn't be bothered with any of the pandemonium, and is therefore my favourite.
Alan Bradley used to call Jenny "his little Fanny". This raises so many questions, most of which should probably be referred to Operation Yewtree. Apparently it's because Jenny was such a good cook; this is partly supported by Classic Corrie, as Jenny and Rita seem to spend their whole time preparing and eating their tea. Every other episode one of them is boiling potatoes or dishing up some kind of anonymous brown slop. Not that culinary standards have necessarily improved on the Street in thirty years. Michelle was boasting about her crayfish tails but the scrambled egg white she served up looked like polystyrene, Ali was eating an omelette sandwich, and it turns out the chips in the Bistro are only twice cooked. I can get triple cooked chips from Markies, Robert; put some effort in. Of course this entire entry is just an excuse to talk about Drunk Jenny, which was the absolute highlight of Monday's episodes and infinitely more interesting than Michelle being holier-than-thou yet again. It lead to a panoply of Amazing Jenny Bradley faces, of which this is probably my favourite:
That's Jenny contentedly dozing off in the middle of the Rovers, stuffed full of corned beef. What a legend.
Knicker stitching is very much like being an astronaut. Summer was sadly rejected for work experience at the UK Space Agency - possibly because she is a student in northern England, and they are based in Swindon - but good news! Aidan swept in and offered her a day's work experience in Underworld instead. Naturally Summer leapt at the chance, mainly because she wants to spend the whole time drinking in Aidan's Aramis and writing Mrs Summer Connor on her workbook. And with that, the sciences lost another bright female mind. Fortunately, there's actually a great deal of overlap between astrophysics and the world of lingerie. Listening to Beth recount the plot of last night's Made in Chelsea above the drone of sewing machines is spookily like being on the International Space Station; in fact Helen Sharman trained for her groundbreaking mission by doing two weeks denim stitching for Mike Baldwin. Aidan should be careful - what with first Simon and now Summer doing the odd job in Underworld, he's in danger of arrest under child exploitation laws.
Some campaigns are doomed to fail. The problem with Daniel's FAWN campaign is we know Debbie Rush has left the show. This puts us in the intriguing position of having a character wrongly imprisoned but, at the same time, never able to return to the Street. I assume the FAWN HQ will have to be disbanded when the British justice system fails Anna even more. I actually hope the writers get round it by having the conviction quashed and releasing Anna from gaol, only for her to send Faye and Gary a message that she enjoyed not having to look at their faces so much she's emigrating to Barbados and they'll have to fend for themselves.
Everybody needs a place to think. Maxine's Bench of Contemplation is out: there's a new spot in town to stare into the middle distance and wait for someone to ask "what's up?". It looks like quite a nice place, though I'm guessing they thought they'd have better weather in March to show it off than the icy day they ended up with. The producers clearly hoped that the debut of the pocket park would distract us from the sudden rush of back story we got about Abi. Turns out she is a fully qualified mechanic, and would you believe it, Webster's Garage has a vacancy now Josh has disappeared! Some might call that handy, others would call it contrived. I just spent the whole time wondering if they're ever going to mention Seb's little brother and sister who are in a care home somewhere and seem to have been completely forgotten.
If you have any idea how Gary - a builder - and Sarah-Louise - a barmaid - can afford a flat in the formerly-exclusive Victoria Court, please let the author know on Twitter @merseytart.
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12 comments:
The cab driver was...a classic moment. Perhaps they should have tossed a bee in the car to get some reaction! Great post. I'm looking forward to seeing what Abi is up to in future episodes. Something tells me it's going to provide you with some great material!
After all the hype,it seems that the male rape storyline ends with a whimper with Josh taking off with a word to either Kevin or Tyrone,abd no justice for David whose life is destroyed due to Josh raping him and mental and emotional abuse afterwards.
If we don't see Josh get his comeuppance down the road,then I'm disgusted and disappointed with the rape storyline and it's feeble conclusion.
They could always bring Anna back with a new head after releasing her from prison.
Never mind Gary and Sarah's swish new flat, amazingly available immediately they started looking. Since when did Sarah have a car, and when did she learn to drive?
If Debbie Rush is not coming back I hope Anna is released from prison offscreen and possibly decides not to return to Weatherfield because of all the bad memories concerning Phelan. If she went to live elsewhere Gary and Faye could visit her from time to time. I don't know if there is any possibility of Debbie Rush making one more surprise appearance before leaving Weatherfield for good; we didn't know that Andy Carver was returning as he managed to film his scenes with Phelan unobserved, although he was sadly killed in the end. However it happens, I do hope that Anna's conviction is ultimately quashed; it would be very unsatisfactory if all of Phelan's crimes were discovered except his framing of Anna, which would probably leave her in prison never to be heard of again.
The tabloids are also sugggesting that Phelan might find some way of having her killed in prison before he meets his own end. I don't know how likely this would be. It had never occurrred to me that Anna could return with a new head; this would probably not be feasible in the near future as viewers still associate the character with Debbie Rush, but might conceivably work if she was released from prison in at least a couple of years' time if her conviction is not quashed.
HOw about Anna gets released and decides to return to her ex-husband in Europe? He offers her a place to stay to get her life back in order, and after her disasterous relationships she takes him up on it!
I like it! After all, Eddie bakes brilliant cakes - what an incentive. ..
In Milan, maybe?
That would be a good idea if Anna returned to her ex-husband in Europe to escape from Weatherfield, even if she only did so off-screen.
I believe Kate Oates has just resigned as producer of Coronation Street. Probably Phelan's final scenes have already been filmed but I wonder if the change of producer will have any effect on the long-term fallout from his reign of terror, including Anna's eventual fate or even brief return?
Are you serious about Kate Oates? Any confirmations out there?
CONFIRMED!!! WOOHOO!
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