Coronation Street Episode Review Monday 26th March

In tonight's instalment of Life In A Northern Town, Gail and Audrey are like Mulder and Scully, one believes, the other is sceptical. Gail is looking for additional work to get money to pay Rosemary to cleanse the Platt-Rodwell family of evil spirits (what is Gail doing for a job? She was the cleaner and occasional waitress at the Bistro, but that was when Nick was in charge. Is she still there?), to Audrey's chagrin. Roy says it best when he posits that mediums are: "at best deluded, at worst incorrigible charlatans". Audrey points out that things were just as bad pre-Richard, but Gail replies: "Life was normal back then, now it's just one disaster after another". Is this a meta-commentary on the new, more dramatic Corrie storylines? Brian and Roy join Rosemary and Audrey in the salon for a seance, at which Roy proves her a fraud. Meanwhile, a gang of youths is hanging around the kebab shop and one of them tries to nab Audrey's handbag, and knocks her to the ground, before Brian and Roy tackle the "textbook tinkers". Gail thinks this is proof of the Bates-with-a-briefcase curse. However, she does tell Rosemary that she can't relive those times and Mystic Mug slings her hook (for now).

It's Family Day at the Rovers because Newton & Ridley want to have more parents and kids drinking in their pubs, which is a terrible idea. But it's also the return of cad/bounder Henry, which I'm quite pleased about as I always hoped that his bet with horrible Hugo would actually lead to rom-com romance with our Gemini. I foresaw a long and entertaining upstairs-downstairs relationship, but t'was not to be. I also want Hugo to return; in fact I've worked out a whole story arc for him. First of all, he realises that he was such a git because he is bisexual and was repressing it. Once he comes out, he is much nicer, and soon beds both Sean and Carla (who, as we know, is partial to a bit of post-op bed hop, to which I say: go girl). Forced to choose between the two, he picks our Mr Tully, who decides to retire from his job at the Rovers and live on Hugo's millions, referring to himself at all times as Cinders of the Cobbles.

Anyway! Simon is off mugging old ladies and Oliver has marker pen all over his face so the Rovers family photo is delayed, until Eva comes to the rescue with her face paints. Meanwhile, Peter interrogates Simon, who claims that his "mates" forced him into robbing Audrey. He goes to the hospital to apologise to Audrey and Roy. Later, we see him talking to one of the gang, saying he handled it, and he knows which buttons to press. I guess this is the start of another Simon goes bad storyline (yawn).

Seb is back with a man-ban (boy-bun?) and a new job, working at Legacy Reach. There's trouble at t'mill as Phlelan hasn't received his final payment for his (shoddy) work(manship). Turns out burying bodies isn't good for the foundations and it's going to have to be dug up. Is this the beginning of the end?!

It takes Maria (Maria!) to point out that David might have a problem getting a visa to live/work in New Zealand as the Kiwis already have hair-dressers. What with Shona undecided, the kids truculent, Josh sticking his oar in and Martin a bit sceptical as to why his son who he's not seen in several years wants to come live with him down under, David decides he's not going after all, and his dad returns to Liverpool. Is that it for Martin? I have enjoyed his blond-tinted semi-return.

Until Easter Monday!

Rachel Stevenson - on twitter

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