Carry on Corrie!

A curious thing recently. In the midst of Weatherfield's hellish storylines, viewers have been treated to a barrowful of bawd. In what appears to be a throwback to the early 1970s, there's been a plethora of innuendo and seaside humour whether it be Gemma and her sausage or Mary's meanderings about her pink shell or whatever it was. All we needed was a score by Eric Rogers and some sound effects and we would have been watching a Carry on film.

Carry on Cobbles - now there's an idea! It probably could have worked had all the principal actors not died decades ago. Picture the scene - Eva (Barbara Windsor) shuffles into the Rovers bar carrying a couple of foaming pints at chest height screaming "Anyone fancy these jugs?". Maniacal laughing ensues. Of course, she would be on the receiving end ("Matron!") of the amorous attentions of Steve MacDonald (Sid James), the dirty old man.

Elsewhere we would chortle at the interaction between Rita (Joan Sims) yelling "Mind me periodicals!" at her dithering assistant Norris (Charles Hawtrey), a somewhat unusual sexual magnet for any woman under thirty. He though is oblivious to the slavish devotion of the lovely Mary (Patsy Rowlands), admiring him from afar.

There would be a saucy story involving Underworld staff going on strike -  "Down with your knickers girls!" - led by Sean (Kenneth Williams), aided by the hapless Kirk (Jack Douglas) who is dressed in a nurse's outfit for no apparent reason.

At the garage, Kevin (Kenneth Connor) is having problems with his big end whilst hoping to attract the attention of his secret love Leanne (Dilys Laye). Kevin blows a gasket every time she passes by - with hilarious consequences!

Devoted wife Eileen (Hattie Jacques) remains blind to the somewhat murderous ways of her brutish husband Pat (Bernard Bresslaw), happily laundering his blood stained overalls, cooing 'who's a silly boy then?' "He's just clumsy!" she explains to best friend Liz (Liz Fraser).

There's romance afoot at the hairdressers as Ken (Jim Dale) makes a play for the lovely Audrey (Anita Harris). However it all goes awry when, for no reason whatsoever, he crashes through the salon door on a hospital trolley.

The film ends with Peter (Peter Butterworth) holding a party in the Rovers. Eva arrives with a tray of baps held at chest height whilst Steve chases her around the bar until her bra flies off and hits Brian Packham (Frankie Howerd) in the face. All of the principal characters hurl food at each other and then dash outside to watch as Ken slides down the roof of the salon, tearing Audrey's dress off in the process. "Ooh I bet he's got split ends!" screams Sean as the credits roll and everyone laughs hysterically.

Next week: Star Wars legend George Lucas gets to grips with staffing issues at the Corner Shop.

---

Please read our advice for leaving comments on the Coronation Street Blog
All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License