The Week In Classic Corrie

MONDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 1st and 3rd July 1992

Ivy went to see Julie for a good old fashioned catfight.  Julie was much calmer, and explained that not only had she not been with Don for a year, she didn't want him any more.  Ivy went to the hospital and told him they were married in the eyes of the Lord and nothing would change that, and besides which, his fancy woman didn't fancy him.  The doctor then told Don he'd have to have his foot amputated.  I'm not sure what's worse: life changing disability or living with Human Dementor Ivy.  Steve and Andy bought Liz some flowers to cheer her up while Jim got obnoxious and drunk because his business was failing.  He smarmed all over Liz and when she pushed him away he knocked her flowers over.   Ted experienced crippling head pain and Rita worried about what was happening to him.  Audrey realised how unhappy Liz and Rita were, so she opened a bottle of champagne in the shop and they all got hammered in the middle of the day.  This was of course amazing.

TUESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 6th July 1992

The venerable Corriepedia notes that today's episodes were originally broadcast as an hour long special.  The reason?  To spoil the launch of Eldorado on BBC One.  Now, I might like Corrie, but I loved Eldorado, and it makes me very sad that a lot of viewers were denied the sight of Fizz emerging from behind a giant teddy bear and saying "Alright?" because of ITV's machinations.  Especially since today's episodes were pretty dull.  Don refused to tell Ivy about his amputation, but Julie grassed him up and she rushed to the hospital.  When he came round he saw her at his bedside and said he was pleased to see her.  Definitely the drugs talking.  Alf and Bet became convinced that Boring Ted was after Rita's money, as though he could do anything that interesting.  Besides, Rita was splashing the cash around, replacing the windows at number seven even though she was in the process of offloading it to Curly.  Angie had a good flirt with the builder, Neil, much to Curly's annoyance.  I don't blame her, he was fit as.  She then went out for dinner with Hanif from the fashion company.  What a woman.  And Emily came home from the hospital at last.  She admitted that her depression was basically a consequence of her bottling up all the awful things that had happened to her over the decades of living on Coronation Street.  I'm surprised more people don't have breakdowns to be honest.

WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 8th and 10th July 1992

Percy grassed up Emily's loan to Mike to Ken.  He leapt at the opportunity to bellow abuse at Baldwin in the pub, accusing him of taking advantage of a sick old woman.  Ted realised the Street was giving him the cold shoulder so Rita asked Bet why.  Bet hinted that Boring Ted might have duplicitous motivations and Rita exploded.  Meanwhile Alf's persistent complaints about him lead to Audrey snapping and telling him about Ted's brain tumour.  He felt rotten and told Reg that he had health problems and they should leave him alone.  Reg being Reg, he immediately blabbed and Boring Ted realised his business was public.  At number 13 David fell down the stairs and cracked his head.  (He cracked his head a few months ago, too; it's all becoming clear).  Sally took him up the hospital and the nurse pointed out that she should have a licence if she's childminding for a living.

THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 13th and 15th July 1992

There was a three minute scene in the first episode today that was Alec, Jack and Raquel discussing St Swithin's Day.  It served no purpose dramatically, it was pure silliness, and it was absolutely brilliant.  I wish the show still had time for scenes of quiet amusement.  Raquel was bored and lonely, and felt out of place, so Bet told Alec to make her feel welcome and wanted.  Raquel then brought a gentleman into the pub's back room just as Bet was running a Ladyshave over her calf and made them all feel awkward.  Elsewhere, Sally got a visit from Social Services, and it put the fear of God in her.  She stopped looking after David immediately which was inconvenient for the Platts.  She worked out a compromise where she looked after the babies in Gail's house, making it babysitting not childminding.  Terry was locked up for three years which made Lisa wonder if she should return to Blackpool.  Jack and Vera tried to persuade her to stay so they could be close to their grandchild.  Mike went to see Emily and gently asked her about the money.  She told him she invested the ten grand while fully compos mentis, and was livid at Percy and Ken for going around implying otherwise.  Emboldened, Mike told Ken he was going to sue him for slander.  Jim's business finally died and he took a job as a security guard - but only after being told he was too old to return to the Army.

FRIDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 17th and 20th July 1992

Mike began trawling the Street for witnesses to his slander suit, but both Des and Kevin refused to get involved.  Instead he proposed dropping the suit if Ken publicly apologised, but of course, the arrogant Barlow refused, enraging both Emily and Alma.  Don told Ivy to stop visiting him; their marriage was over before the accident, and his disability didn't change that.  Curly got the deeds to number 7 which sent him into a spiral of self-analysis as he realised he was tied to a single spot on planet Earth.  But all of this was filler compared to the main, magnificent storyline: Alec Gilroy's Mexican mouse-eating spider. One of his fellow agents who specialised in animal acts offered him the use of an exotic spider, Boris, as a talking point for the bar.  Bet was furious (Alec: "It's in a vivarium." Bet: "I don't care if it's in a three piece suit and spats.") and suggested the best place to store it would be under a brick.  Of course, the spider escaped, and much of the second episode was devoted to its pursuit.  Jack was tasked with chasing it, running round the Rovers wearing Marigolds and wielding a wooden mallet, and occasionally getting wound up by a giggling Liz.  Raquel refused to sleep under the same roof as a free Boris and managed to wangle a bed at Curly's.   (Raquel: "I'm not sleeping here while that horrible thing is crawling around."  Bet: "I know, but we can't get rid of Jack, he's been here for years.")  This irritated Angie, so she announced to the pub there was a spider on the loose and the punters cleared out.  Alec was even more horrified when Harry told him the spider was worth five hundred quid and he was liable.  It was absolute nonsense and it was glorious.  I could've watched an entire show of Bet dripping acid at Alec while he poked around behind the sofa.  Even better, they still hadn't found the spider by the end of the show, so there's more of this to come.

There will always be a little bit of @merseytart's heart in Los Barcos.

Classic Corrie is on ITV3 every weekday from 14:50, with repeats the next morning from 6am.

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