In tonight’s big story Michelle and Vicky’s brilliant plan to frame Robert for murder is ruined as Vicky rather inconveniently goes into labour in the crummy hotel she’s holed up in. She refuses to go to a hospital, so it’s left to Michelle to deliver the baby. Before tonight’s show I could have sworn that Michelle had no discernible talents other than folding her arms and being stroppy, but clearly she is the country’s top midwife as she manged to deliver a washed, cord-free, three-month-old baby in about five minutes flat. I take back everything I said about her, the sheer skill of that woman.
Talking of stroppy, Roy’s goes to make peace with new goth niece Nina. Deep in a System of a Down hole, Nina refuses to open the door despite Roy paying her overdue rent, bringing falafel and telling her he promised her dad he would take care of her. Desperate to get through to her he brings reinforcements in the shape of Carla. It’s a good choice, they’re both women with a shared love of a strong eyebrow and wearing black all year round. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if we find out that Carla had a secret goth past and that she spent the 80’s listening to Bauhaus records and calling herself Carlvira Wolfsbane-D’Oom. After Roy opens up to Nina about his lonely childhood she seems to soften and speaks to him through the letterbox. I’m enjoying the Nina, Carla and Roy trio. I hope they don’t give her a ‘normal’ makeover in six months’ time and turn her into Rosie Webster mark 2.
Back on the Street Dopey Derek is still trying to sell the factory he doesn’t own to Sarah and Nick. He tells them it’s theirs if they can get him a fast £10k, so he can take his estranged wife and kids to Florida. Nick and Sarah ask the Underworld comrades if they can collectively raise the money and despite explicitly being told to not tell anyone, leaky vessel Izzy goes straight to Gary for a loan. Unsurprisingly Gary doesn’t take the news terribly well. Telling Derek threateningly that he knows where his family live, he forces him to sign over the factory to him for a pound. Is this the last we’ll see of Derek? Oh no it isn’t…etc, etc.
In other news Jenny tries to do a Christmas good deed and take Rita out for the day, but Reet gets the hump saying she feels like a tick on Jenny’s to-do-list. Also, Tyrone and Fizz try to punish demon child Hope for ruining the school nativity, but totally fail to notice the MASSIVE BRGHT PINK burner phone which she has sticking out of her back pocket. As soon as they leave the room, she immediately calls Jade who tells her to continue with the plan.
And so back to the other plan. Vicky has given birth to a baby boy and Michelle persuades her to stop being dead and go to hospital. It’s not long before the police come calling and the news of her return to the living reaches Robert. Released from his prison cell, he immediately goes looking for his child but he’s too late as Vicky has checked herself out of hospital. Turning up at the Street he confronts Michelle who initially denies everything and then folds like pack of cards telling him that she, Vicky and Tyler were all in on the plot to frame him for murder. Looking punch-ably smug Robert reveals that he’s recorded everything on his phone. Michelle immediately bursts into tears telling him she’s sorry and just wanted to punish him because he broke her heart (who knew she had one?). He agrees not to go to the police with the tape recording, but only if Michelle will tell him where Vicky and his son are. She refuses saying she made a promise to Vicky, but will the threat of the police change her mind?
I mean I gotta say based on Michelle’s last 13 years of being utterly self-serving and narcissistic I’d say yup she’d save her own skin faster than you can say Queen of the Universe, but I’m sure the writers would prefer Michelle to leave the show as a good and noble person so she’ll probably do the right thing. But maybe I'm being a bit harsh. What do you think Corrie fans - let me know in the comments?
And that’s it for this week. See you in a fortnight or catch me on twitter @mskelstar.
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