Cosy crimes and gritty sagas by Corrie Blog editor Glenda, published by Headline. Click pic below!

Monday 23 December 2019

Coronation Street Episode Review Monday 23rd December

The factory girls women plus Saint Nick have moved back into the factory. No slide or adult ball pit but there is a sofa. It also looks like Ikea threw up all over it. Whilst Nick sets up the filing system, the workers plan the Xmas/Opening party. Everyone's in their Xmas jumpers apart from Kirk (Xmas Hawaiian shirt), who has invited all and sundry to the party, except Gary because, you know, awks. He turns up anyway and Adam tells Nick that Gary hurt and bruised Sarah. Nick tries to throw Gary out but - in other confessional news, a stressy Degsy tells Izzy that Gazza owns the factory. Gary prevaricates, saying he's just their landlord and thanking the builders for all their hard work. Maria sulks that he didn't tell her and Gary spins a story of how he stepped in when Derek had cashflow problems. Derek still has cashflow problems and asks Gary for more money. Unfortunately he doesn't get it, instead he gets tied up so that he misses his flight. "You create problems for me, I create problems for you," Gary tells him, not unreasonably. He then raises the factory rent. I thought Gary bought the factory because of guilt over Rana's death and the factory workers being out of a job? I guess that's all dissipated now that he's Weatherfield's Mr Big.

Robert adds attempted blackmail to his charge sheet of aggravated assault, steroid abuse, gambling addiction and upsetting Queen of All Known Universes, Michelle. He tells her that if she doesn't 'fess up to Vicky's whereabouts, he will go to the police re: the subterfuge, but later catches up with her and tells her that he can't bring himself to dob her or Vicky in. Oh, just leave already.

On her way back from a shopping trip at Co-op (wouldn't she just get free stuff from Freshco's?), Gemma pops into Rita's to tell her she's bought a tree from Dev's and will be 'round to help decorate it later. But twins are what happen when you're making other plans and she can't help, and Rita's attempts to get Mr Alahan to unravel her fairylights fall on Dev deaf ears. Can't help but feel that this whole story is just a Xmas appeal to get Don't Forget The Old Folks At Christmas back in the charts. Sorry, Ladbaby.

Rita lies to Gemma, telling her she's off to Cartmel with Mavis. Why doesn't Reet Petite just invite herself round to Sally's? Or make up with Jenny and drink her way through the pub's optics? Anyway, Rita steps up onto the stool in high heels to adjust a bauble and falls, bringing the tree with her, in scenes reminiscent of 2010's tram crash. The cat watches, because that's what cats are like.

Emma, two days before Christmas, starts asking Seb if they're giving each other Xmas presents. Not sure what you can get from the local shops? A kebab? A large latte from Costa? That Demis Roussos CD that's been in the Kabin since 1982? She ends up getting him a bluetooth speaker (romantic?). In an already packed episode, Alina Pop, or Romanian Slave Girl as Amy calls her, turns up to find Seb. Amy intercepts her and tells her that Emma and Seb are engaged. Emma 'fesses up to Seb (who now has the hairstyle but not the trousers of Harry Styles) and decides that it's best they finish. A very glam Liz tries to comfort her and Eileen counsels Seb. It's good to see these two older ladies back as some kind of respite from Michelle/Robert/the quads.

Meanwhile, Billy is manning a soup and blanket kitchen for the homeless, which is visited by none other than Jade. Is this part of her evil plan? She asks Billy and Sean not to mention it to Fiz and Tyrone so of course Sean blabs straight away. Fiz and Tyrone go out in search of Little Miss Stape, who is conveniently lurking around the ginnel. They take her back to number 9. Fortunately, D.I. Plummer is on the case, suspicious of  Jade, who is nonetheless given a warm welcome by Lizzie Borden Jnr, Hope. "We're all gonna have a great Christmas," quoth Tyrone, which is a bit like saying: "This will be the best Christmas Weatherfield's ever had."

Nonetheless, have a great cobbles Christmas, everyone!

Rachel Stevenson - on twitter

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