Which story shall we pick up first? Spin the storyline wheel...Robert finds out Michelle has put the Bistro on the market and takes umbrage, smashing the for sale sign, interrupted by Peter and D.S. MacKinnon (who surely has just been through a messy divorce and is determined to find someone better) who has come to tell Rob that his satnav says that he was in the woods where they suspect Vicky's body is buried. Is this the local murder woods where Rick's remains are interred? Paula's been watching too many episodes of The Dublin Murders and suggests they try to find out who had access to the van and wanted to hurt Vicky; Robert immediately accuses Michelle. She launches a counter-accusation saying he must have driven Vicky's lifeless body to Homicide Woods, to which Robert replies: "I never mentioned any woods." Michelle 0 D.S. Preston 1. He threatens Michelle, interrupted again by Peter - and Carla who takes Michelle away. She gets a mini revenge by telling the police, who take Robert in again, about his steroid abuse and other incidents. D.S. Mac says she will charge him with GBH and then! we get the reveal that Vicky is in a cheap hotel and she and Michelle set up the whole thing between them. This is what happens when you scorn women, Robbie!
Meanwhile, Gemma is worried the midwife will look down on her, whilst Kirk thinks of a production line solution to the quads' feeding and changing needs. He himself isn't interested in changing nappies, instead deciding his role will be to sing lullabies to the little ones. What's happened to Kirk's singing "career"? Wouldn't he be releasing some kind of awful novelty Xmas song?
I think the Corrie writers might have shot themselves in the foot with this storyline ans they'll have to employ four similar looking children at various developmental stages for the next 18 years. Unless they send some off to live with Cilla or something. Anyway, Freshco's ring up to demand the first photo shoot and their photographer rather nosily opens a cupboard and lots of stuff falls out, leading Gemma to complain people are looking down on her. Jeez, I think people understand you don't have time to tidy with four kids. Tara from Freshco's thinks of a new slogan for the supermarket,
Michael has bought a hook-a-Santa game, a helter skelter and some scarily large gingerbread men (let's hope all this stuff doesn't come to life when mini-Lapland closes down for the night). The piece de resistance is poor Ed dressed as Santa (he complains the costume gives him hives). From Aggie's reaction, I think she might get him to wear it....later.
Sally has found a "really expensive" vow renewal venue but Tim 'fesses up his bigamy crime. Sally is understandably angry; Tim reassures her that it's not an affair but that doesn't cut any mustard or even ketchup. Sally thinks there's no way out as if Tim divorces Charlie, it might trigger an investigation and he might go to prison. To be honest, I imagine council cuts have hit registrars as well, and they probably wouldn't bother if it was a genuine error.
Turns out Richard isn't as into model railways as his half-brother and he is immediately bored with the train-set, saying he preferred Subbuteo (Roy used to use the Subbuteo characters as train passengers). He tells Roy that says he had a trial for County's youth team, but was injured. He says he still listens to the games and Roy kindly buys Kirk's scarf and top off of him (only slightly smelling of Hai Karate) and goes to listen to the game with Richard. He's been doing some research on County and tells Richard about their first manager, Harry Belmont, who used to throw projectiles at the players to make them run faster (!). Nina says a new carer will be starting tomorrow, so there's no more reason for Roy to visit. Aw.
Rachel Stevenson - on twitter
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