Friday, 1 January 2016

Callum Logan - Dead or disappeared down the drain?

Guest blog post from Paul Lanagan who is on twitter @CorrieArt. Paul visited the Coronation Street tour yesterday for his very last time, December 31st 2015 on its last day of operation. 

And now it's over to Paul...

"With viewers having been offered an excess of continuing dramas (aka soaps) over the past 55 years, it's a challenge for our favourite programmes to come up with new and refreshing storylines. The likes of Coronation Street, EastEnders, Emmerdale and the lamented Brookside have all "been there, done that, worn the T-Shirt, committed the shocking murder and hidden the body"!

Nobody can forget the memorable and groundbreaking domestic abuse storyline in Brookside which resulted in the violent Trevor Jordache being interred under the patio in 1993 only for his bin-bagged remains to be exposed two years later in all its comedic glory by Jimmy Corkhill when a burst pipe forced the garden to be excavated.

Are we about to see the same story repeated on Coronation Street where a blocked drain under Gail's new granny-flat (aka annexe) could expose the deposition site of Callum Logan's body?

I hope not.

The Corrie writers are surely too clever to repeat something we expect to happen - a storyline of "body found, suspects arrested, wrong person charged, case goes to court, Free the Weatherfield One, real culprit comes forward, predictable story over".

A happy ending but an opportunity for a big twist missed!

I've suspected since the day we all thought Callum met his grisly end (from the blow of a wrench yielded by Kylie Platt and his subsequent burial in the drain under 8 Coronation Street back in September 2015) that he wasn't actually dead!

And how shocking would it be when by whatever means the granny-flat drain is finally re-exposed and we all stare at our screens expecting a swarm of flies to escape into the Platts' house only for the void to be void of a body?

Callum is alive and well! He'll have awoken in his damp tomb with a major headache and a bad case of curtain rash only to be faced with a long crawl to freedom!

Having visited the Coronation Street many times, I've identified Callum's potential escape routes - but which of the following Weatherfield drains has he made his bid for freedom from?

Place your bets now!

Drain 1 - very close to No 8 Coronation Street, but a snug fit for Callum to squeeze out.

Drain 2 - located in the middle of the cobbles near No 1 Coronation Street, Callum would have to chance his luck against those pesky Corrie cars (two can fit down the street now, you know!).
Drain 3 - right next to Audrey's Salon (how ironic) and the phone box, this large drain is big enough for a strapping lad like Callum to pop out from!
Drains 4 & 5 - slap bang in the middle of Rosamund Street and not worth the risk of losing your head from the passing Weatherfield Wayfarer!
Drain 6 - tucked inside the illogical Rosamund Street viaduct, Callum would be better off facing all that flushes down the nearby Rovers' toilets than try his escape here!
Drain 7 - a very small drain down the ginnel, Callum could only use this one if he didn't mind being cheese gratered!
Drains 8 & 9 - behind the Corner Shop, these drains aren't too far from No 8 Coronation Street and the lid was very loose when I visited. Has Callum already found his way out from here?
Drain 10 - another big drain cover and right beside Nick's Bistro. Imagine the diners' faces if Callum had popped up here in the middle of the entrees?
Drain 11 - another small drain, this one is located outside the door of the vacant No 12 Coronation Street. Surely nosey Norris would have heard Callum's cries for help as he swept the paths of the Kabin?
Drain 12 - right in front of the steps of Underworld, Callum would be lucky if he could fit his arm through this drain; it would be snugger than a pair of the Connors' best knickers!
Drain 13 - no chance here, this tiny drain is clogged up with fag ends from customers of Audrey's Salon when they nip out for a ciggie between treatments!
Drain 14 - on Rosamund Street next to the bus stop and below the upper floor flat of 15A Rosamund Street, if Callum had any wits left about him (after a painful blow to the head by a wrench), he'd emerge from Weatherfield's drains here as 15A had been empty for a while and the pipes all sweet and clean!

Thanks are extended to the Weatherfield Water Utilities for assistance with researching this article, their co-operation lightened the load on my otherwise sensitive nose on a very wet visit to our favourite street on New Year's Eve 2015.


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Anonymous said...

But of course the new street, where all this was filmed, is much bigger - and all the drain covers will be too Paul. He could have come up anywhere. It may have been my old eyes but I even thought I saw him in the background on Strictly recently. One of these drains doesn't come up near Elstree does it?

Basementjack said...

Thanks for this encyclopaedic tour of the drains in Coronation Street. If Callum did awaken, could he not have simply have climbed out of the drain in Gail's flat prior to it being covered with concrete?

I do however like the idea of his body not being there. Anyone who has seen the 1950's french film , Les Diaboliques will know what I am talking about.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant tour of the drains! I too hope he's not there. I keep thinking back to a very deliberate shot of him holding his passport before going in to the house...
But alas, I fear the entirely predictable outcome dragged out over many more months as suggested. I still wish he'd been in the boot of the car when it was torched - brought the whole tedious saga to an end.

Anonymous said...

Haha - hilarious! - the only funny thing regarding this painful, never-ending story.

Newfy Pearl said...

This would be oh so funny if indeed he had escaped. The drain just outside the garage seems the best bet.
I think it would be amazing!
Love this post.

njblas said...

Unless Paula Lane wants to leave her role as Kylie (and we've heard nothing to indicate she does), they must be planning to wriggle out of Callum's death somehow. Otherwise the body will have to be discovered at some point and Kylie must be gaoled. Only Tracy Barlow is allowed to get away with murder...

Humpty Dumpty said...

Drain covers can weigh up to two hundred pounds so, in reality, it would be very hard for an injured Callum to push open the cover from below. I'm throwing another possibility into the fray. Gemma was outside the Platts and saw David and Kylie leave for the school. She dragged Callum out and helped him escape abroad with the passport she got for him. All her visits to the Platts after the event were simply red herrings for the viewers and, plot-wise, designed to keep an eye on the Platts while he made his escape.

Kathryn said...

Grid 1 definitely

Anonymous said...

love, love, love the post - actually I enjoyed this post way more than the New Year's episodes on the telly. TPTB really need to rethink their writing staff. Seems to me the bloggers are way more interesting than the actual Corrie writing staff.

Beth said...

Any chance Tony removed the body before he filled in the hole with the cement? It would also be good to see him back on the street.

Anonymous said...

Blogger njblas said...
"Unless Paula Lane wants to leave her role as Kylie (and we've heard nothing to indicate she does)"..........

I'm pretty sure I read recently that Paula Lane is definitely leaving as she wants to pursue other things. I always thought that's why the writers are putting distance between Kylie and David, to make it easier for her to leave again.

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