It's mah faktry,
Frank can die if he wants to.
Die if he wants to.
Die if he wants to.
You'd kill him too,
If he'd done it to you!
Who killed Frank?
It looks like an easy question loveys but it’s not!
Let’s look at the flamin’ evidence.
Peter, Carla, Michelle, Kevin, Sally and Anne! Oooh, but let’s not stop there!
What about Tracy? She’s got form! She dated Frank and she’s Peter’s (sort of) sister. Maybe she's one of them cereal killers like them lasses on't Special K two week challenge!
What about Leanne, Stella, or even Karl? Frank covered up the car accident din’t he?
What about Maria? What about Kirk? Maybe Kirky snapped, Frank did that to his sister and now he’s gonna sack him!
What about Fay(e), she’s killed a load of slimy things so Frank would be a doddle!
What about Max, Amy and Simon? Maybe they’ve been through so much in their little lives that they’ve decided to recreate ‘Children of the Corn’ with their own murderous gang, ‘Kiddies of the Cobbles’!
What about Eccles? He could have done it! I don’t trust that dog after it covered up for Ken’s infidelities with Martha!
We’re all flamin’ suspects! I’m not even sure if I did it or not! Maybe I did… I’m sure I’d remember though… but then I am on HRT… and it's making me memory...
What was I on about..?
Oh aye, Frank!
He’s dead! Good riddance I say!
I’m looking forward to Weatherfield police botching yet another investigation! They’re rubbish! If I paid council tax I’d be up in flamin’ arms!
They’ve released Tracy, imprisoned Fiz, Gail and Deirdre and let Frank off!
Bring back DC Hooch, even he’s better than them lot!
Thank Cliff Peter’s back on’t bottle, he’s much more fun when he’s drunk in’t he loveys? Hugging Norris and Dennis, livening up the ‘early birds OAP special discount hour’ at the Bistro. I like a drunk, they’re always generous and you can confide in ‘em cos they forget everything you’ve flamin’ told ‘em! Also, when you suffer from mild incontinence, like what I do, it’s nice to be with someone else who wets ‘emself more than you!
Carla gave a very moving speech when she decided to sell…
“We’ve had some good memories...”
Which memories would they be?
Was it the dead Polish worker? Or maybe it was Jed Stone lay in a basket half dead? Or was it when Tony Gordon held Carla, Hayley and Maria hostage and then burned it to the ground?
Aww, was that an affectionate look from Fiz? I think it was! Lovely memories... Bless her, remembering the time she had to exhume Colin Fishwick’s body from a hole in’t factory floor and dispose of it with her psychotic murdering ex husband… Happy days…
“We’ve had some good memories…”
Honestly lovey, you haven’t! You've developed a drink problem, lost a husband, dated his brother, lost him, been shot at by another man you married, been raped by someone you were engaged to, been on the brink of bankruptcy twice monthly and dated a bin man whose mind you messed with so much he looked at Janice as a better option!
While we're on the subject of Eileen (which we're not!)! Could that woman sink any lower?
“I really care about Leslie, Jay-Son! I just cavort with her husband and take him to the pub with me which actually makes a mockery of the poor mare!”
If a packet of Dunhill falls down in a pub and there’s no one there to hear it does it make a sound?
If Leslie is too ill to know or recognise her husband and ‘carer’ are canoodling in the kitchen is it infidelity?
The answer to both them questions is YES!
Remember loveys, life happens in that brief moment of existence before we return from whence we came - oblivion and emptiness… So fill it with happiness, gin and plenty of ciggies. Belting!
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10 comments:
:-) GREAT blog as usual, Brenda!
It would perfect if it was Tracy cuz we could get rid of her. Again.
Yeah, that whole "good memories" crap was a bit much. I wish it would be Carla because she's a serial man-stealing bitch and I can't stand her.
Maybe it'll be Ken because all this turmoil with Carla/Frank has got Peter back on the booze.
~JB in Canada
I love the Children of the Corn angle! We haven't seen that kind of depravity on the Street yet and goodness knows those kids have been exposed to enough mahem they should've at least turned into a gang by now! Brilliant.
Nah, it's more likely to be newcomer Beth's son - Craig.
He of the staring, stalking eyes. See how he's lining up his future victims ready to commence his serial killer career. The Corrie inhabitants know and sense it - they all get the heebie-jeebies around him.
Somewhere along the line, off-screen, Frank muust have separted the kid from a bag of his beloved crisps. That's all it'll take.
I'm still doubled over with laughter!
Bev, Canada
Fabulous Brenda!...and that ditty sung to 'It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To.....brilliant!
Could be Stella because Frank refused an invitation to 'come through to the back' .....she's been short of counselling clients lately.
I think its Michelle because she never left the factory and will of heard what Frank said
What about Jenny?? hmmmmm? :L Apparently his watch is missing, so you never know, she could have stole it to take over the whole factory... :L
-Just throwing an idea out there xD
:)
~Random Comment About the State of the street atm
I Think Leanne should get back with Nick :P
bril bril bril...
oh and by the way.
Brilliant as usual.
Thanks for a good laugh!!
"....dated a bin man whose mind you messed with so much he looked at Janice as a better option!"
Sharp, brilliantly observed and laugh out loud funny. Brilliant, Bren, you little belter!
You lot have made me flamin' day! Thanks for me lovely comments!
xxxx
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