It's relationship wrecks tonight on Corrie: the disastrous double date, Leanne and Nick bickering, Steve and Michelle disagreeing, Izzy more distant from Gary than when she was in prison, and even Kirk and Beth fall out (for a while) after he says he enjoyed living chez Norris.
Maria doesn't seem bothered whether or not if Luke is still speaking to her and more interested in catching up with Aidan, who tells her that their sofa shenanigans were a mistake, to her dismay. I'd've thought that Maria would have had enough of being the other woman. It takes both Aidan, as agony uncle, to coax Luke, and Audrey, as president of the Luke fanclub, to persuade Maria to get them to go to the Bistro to talk things through. Unfortunately, Eva and Aidan (Aivan? Edan?), celebrating their reconciliation, get mixed up in their reluctant (on Maria's part at least) date and Caz ends up revealing to Eva that Aidan was not in fact at his mate Paul's, but 'round the flat above the hairdressers. Eva, like Fox Mulder, wants to believe and so she readily swallows the lie that Maria was giving a second opinion on a love-nest for Eva and Aidan - Eva thinks that she's got everything she wanted, and a necklace thrown in for good measure. Maria storms off into the rain and dumps "lovely lad" Luke from under her umbrella. Aw. Still, I hear Gemma is single.
Caz further puts her steel toe caps in it by telling little Liam that mummy and Luke have split up and is now out on her ear, which, ironically, is what Luke wanted in the first place.
Meanwhile, Mother Theresa-with-chewing-gum-and-a-fake-tan a.k.a. Gemma is still after a gold medal in the Weatherfield Good Samaritan triathlon. Dressed like a cut-price Barbarella, Gemma competes in such diverse events as newspaper round, garden gnome bothering, and getting rid off Donna Marie and her nail-file. Donna Marie is one of Norris Lovejoy's Weathertraders buyers, who tries to get £50 off a chest of drawers after deliberately scratching it. Gemma sees her off with a flea in her ear but no antiques. I hope Norris doesn't lose his gold level selling status after that.
Nick, whose job in the Bistro now comprises loitering, lurking and Leanne-baiting, eventually apologises to his ex, and accepts her (wise) decision not to do a Great Gatsby and repeat the past and he moves on, pretty darn quickly, to a hen do, sweet-talking the lasses over the dessert menu. Leaving aside the bizarre concept of hen parties on a Monday, Nick decides to crash down gender stereotypes and go on with the ladies to a club, leaving Leanne with a face like a bag of irons. Maybe she needs to take her own advice: Men - they're not worth the bother. The only one who is worth it, for Sean at at least, is Norris, who not only gives him a (full) bag of bon-bons, but also agrees to take Sean in as a lodger in the continuing absence of Emily. I smell a spin-off sitcom!
Rachel Stevenson - on twitter.
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