Maria! I just met a girl called Maria! It's a bank holiday nightmare for Mrs Connor née Sutherland as Eva's idea of looking out for her is to get the crimper do to her highlights ("I've got more roots than Kunta Kinte!") and tries to bully her into going out with her and Aidan, as well as enduring Audrey's hypocritical remarks ("A sensible girl with her feet on the ground, but when it comes to men!"), then finds out her flat has been broken into, is attacked by a burglar, hits her head, and ends up with Caz living with her all over again. On the face of it, this is the karma that Eva believes in, as, earlier, Maria spotted Caz sleeping rough on the Red Rec and didn't help her beyond giving her some small change. But Caz makes her own luck and, having already made friends in the homeless community, has persuaded a man to break in to scare Maria, so she'll want someone (Caz) around for protection. "You'll be safe with me," she tells Maria as the latter asks her to stay the night. But will she, Caz? Will she?
Sleeping arrangements are tonight's theme. Leanne is moving into Nick's, helped by Gail, with a peace offering of a peace lily, Liz, shooting daggers at Gail every time she talks about "her" incipient grandchild, and Steve, compaining about a pouffe hurting his fingers. Liz, not bothered about one day being in her sixties - "Why worry about the distant future" *cough* - is very worried about Gail already talking about Harry and unborn baby Battersby having sleepovers when she, Liz, won't be able to have anything to do with her grandchild. Steve can't see the problem; Liz will already be living with a newborn, his and Michelle's baby, but Liz thinks you can't share out kids "like slices of cake."
Leanne moves out, Aidan moves in, apart from he's not packed yet. He spends much of tonight's ep persuading Eva to have nothing more to do with Maria, something Eva is quite keen on after Maria's satisfying salon rant. Aidan thinks that if Eva finds out about the sofa shenanigans with Maria, Eva'll dump him, not seeing that if he doesn't put his Debenhams suits and his bottles of Dior Homme into a suitcase soon, she will break up with him.
Another one enjoying the Victoria Court lufestlye is Jenny, who spends the night with Johnny, although she eschews his cafetiere for "tea and toast amongst Rita's nicknacks". He must have done something right though, because when the factory girls down tools in order to guzzle popcorn, set up a makeshift cinema with Sean's projector and a sheet, and talk all the way through (the seventeenth viewing of) Titanic, she dobs them in to Johnny and he docks their pay.
The sleeping arrangements of the entire community are Evil Phelan and Villainous Vinnie's (fake) concern as they press forward with the flats development, bribing Cllr Metcalfe with compliments and dinner time drinks. Sally, to her credit, is unsure about the plan once she's discovered that it would lead to the demolition of the Calcutta Street community hall, which houses disabled adults film club, Oakhill Fencing, Under 11s Dodgeball abd Feral Folk Choir (all sixty of them). Instead of doing the easy thing, given that this development is never going to happen, and including a new community centre in the plans, Phelan gets Alex on his side and incorporates independent living flats into the bogus scheme. "I've been in this game a long time," quoth Phelan. He certainly has.
Gary, although staying out of Pat's way, knows what he's like: "Once Phelan gets his claws into something, he won't let go." Seeing Craig overdoing it in the gym, he persuades him to try lighter weights and also to keep an eye on Bethany. On hearing this, Bethany gets the wrong end of the stick and infers a romantic interest on Gary's part. I think we know who Gary's next girlfriend is going to be, don't we? Clue: it's not a 16 year old.
Rachel Stevenson - personal blog
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