Hello and welcome to part one of the Wednesday review: Jordan has kindly agreed to share the reviewing responsibilities seeing as Monday's episodes were postponed due to the England football team making a show of themselves in France.
Anyway, it's Jason's birthday but there's nothing to celebrate. He doesn't want Eileen's black pudding and he doesn't want his dad's money, tainted, as it is, with Callum's blood, or so Jason suspects. Later on, the police confirm that Tony's wrench has both Callum's and Tony's DNA on it, so it looks like Todd's plan to save Sarah has worked. David can't believe his luck: "We've won," he tells Kylie, but she thinks it's more of a Pyrrhic victory:
"An innocent man's name has been trashed. Jason's in bits. Sarah's in a mental hospital and I've got to live with the fact that I killed a man." David doesn't care and even uses the news that the police aren't looking for anyone else to rile Gail, getting her to apologise for not believing him. Boy, wolf, David. Gail tries to excuse herself by saying she was in shock, what with "sleeping on top of a dead body for months." "I thought you'd be used to it after Michael," David quips, quick as one of Sean's head tosses. Jack Shepherd gets all the best lines, and he always delivers.
Jason is cut up, believing that he, "playing the big man", caused Callum attacking him and thus to Tony killing Callum. He believes the stress of becoming a murderer led to Tony's heart-attack, but worse is to come. Gemma warns him that Callum's Dog And Gun drinking pals will be after Jay-boy, and as sure as Norris's eggs are runny, Jason's van is on fire by the end of the episode.
Talking of Norris, he and Kirk are still playing the odd couple and not even Nozza trying to distract Kirk with promises of flapjacks in his packed lunch can put Kirky off his stroke whilst playing Othello. Norris has plans to unsettle Kirk with the Settlers of Catan, but you know that even though Kirk prefers Buckaroo, he will still beat Norris in a game of "strategic thinking and raw cunning" - he is an idiot savant. He admits to missing Beth though, and not just her cheese 'n' pickle 'n' salad cream sarnies.
Someone else too stubborn to sort out their love-life is Steve. Michelle is off to sing for her supper on a cruise (surely modern day cruises demand better entertainment than a Jane MacDonald wannabe) and Steve doesn't look like he's going to stop her. Fortunately, Liz is back, in a particularly putrid pink pleather jacket, refusing to pay for her Streetcars cab and refusing to let Steve give up Michelle. She even ropes in Steve's new sidekick, Tim, with promises of on-the-house hotpot (he gave in too easily: after a few days of minced lamb and potatoes, he'll be desperate for sommat else, Betty's secret recipe or no Betty's secret recipe. He should've held out for free pints) and Tim goes full Oprah, appealing to Steve the only way he knows how: through mutual love of ale. He tells Steve that brewing is like marriage, it takes care and patience, and he seems to have got through to his pal.
Leanne is not getting through to Nick; he doesn't care about her plan to help him open a new restaurant in a derelict fishmongers. She has a moan to Steve, and then another one to Zeedan, who complains that he has it hard, preparing fifty lunches whilst fasting for Ramadan (didn't we see Alya chowing down on a sandwich in the factory last week?). Robert is irritated with both of them, accusing Zee of mooning over Lee. Leanne claims she wants to re-set her life to when she first came to Weatherfield (only without Les) and it looks like she might soon be doing that, in the romance department at least. Sorry, Zee.
Over to you, Jordan!
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