With Tanya gone, Andy took on the vacancy at the Rovers. Raquel and Bet demonstrated the ways and means in what I am pretty sure constituted sexual harassment; Bet was dressed in her scanty black nightwear and they showed him how to apply a "special touch" to move round behind the bar without colliding. Raquel had earlier offered the job to Curly but he'd not been keen to fall that far. Instead she persuaded Reg to give Curly a glowing character reference and dropped unsubtle hints to Des to give him a job at the bookie's. Rita was glowering in the Kabin because she'd not received a special invitation to see baby Lauren. Meanwhile at number 13 Sally and Kevin were wondering why she'd not been over to see her. They finally sorted it out, and Rita arrived with a savings bond for the new baby. She got there in time to learn that they'd changed her name to Sophie after a day of Rosie calling her the same name as her doll. Between that and their first child being named after Rosamund Street I'm glad the Websters didn't have a third child called Branston Pickle or something. Samir declined Deirdre's proposal because he thought she'd only asked him to keep him in the country, not because she loved him. In turn Deirdre worried that he would leave her. Derek and Mavis were loved up after their recent problems, celebrating their sixth wedding anniversary with a new budgie called Beauty. I may have preferred them when they were rowing.
TUESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 11th and 14th November 1994
You know how sometimes the very worst people make a very good point and you resent it? Percy spotted Audrey giving the kiddies a lift to school in the mayoral limo and objected to Alf on this waste of ratepayer's money. He was absolutely right but Percy was also really annoying. The Wiltons held a glamorous dinner party with Roger the drippy painter, Angela, Norris and Rita in attendance. Unfortunately the conversations was stilted and the food was awful so the guests sloped off early to the Rovers. It became extremely awkward when Mavis and Derek then showed up in the pub and caught them having a much better time. The next morning Roger turned up at the Kabin with some flowers and asked Rita out for dinner. You can do better, Reet. Samir admitted he had been thinking about Deirdre's proposal and told her they should get married. They rushed to the registry office to organise things, though Samir's mate Omar was shocked by how old Deirdre was. Curly started work at the bookmaker's and Jack took advantage of his inexperience to push through a bet at the wrong odds. Des paid out at the correct rates and Don and Jim pressured Jack into apologising to Curly and spending his meagre winnings on a Scotch as an apology.
WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 16th and 18th November 1994
There was an unexpected visitor at the McDonald house: Steve's probation officer, looking for him as he'd not showed up for his community service. Liz truthfully told her she had no idea where he was but Jim dropped in the fact that he had a flat in Wethy Quays. Liz tried calling his mobile (or as Andy called it, "his walkie-talkie") but finally found out where he was when a postcard from Florida landed on the mat. Jim was predictably outraged. Curly gave up his job at the bookies, which was handy because Sean the manager was about to sack him, and instead got himself an interview at bargain chain Superscooper, which I continually misheard as Pooperscooper. Deirdre told Tracy she was engaged to Samir and of course she exploded, because Tracy is a self-centred brat. She passed the news on to Denise, who informed a stunned Ken. He went round and suggested that (a) Deirdre was only marrying Samir to keep him in the country and (b) she was only doing it because she was bitter he was having a baby with Denise. Deirdre chucked the self-centred nark out on his ear. On the plus side, someone at the Moroccan Embassy has clearly been in touch, because suddenly everyone is calling him "Samir" and not "Shamir."
THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 21st and 23rd November 1994
I had to turn on the subtitles at the start of today's episodes because it sounded like Percy Sugden was on the hunt for sex. He asked Rita for sex, he asked Reg for sex, but nobody would help him out. It turned out he was saying "segs", which are metal shoe protectors, but for a while there I was really disturbed. In fact the segs talk went on into the Rovers and it appeared Martin was the only one who misheard. Ken saw Samir at the bus stop and gave him a lift. On the way, he told him not to rush into marriage with Deirdre, and Samir rightly told him to get stuffed and got out of the car. Undeterred, Ken went to Emily and told her that Samir was only after a passport. An upset Emily in turn refused to be a witness at what she believed was a sham marriage. Still, Deirdre got a glam new hairdo, a kind of Liza Minelli in Cabaret bob, and went to her hen do in the Rovers. Alf felt that Audrey was getting too chummy with Brian the chauffeur and so, when he attended a meeting for Council cutbacks, he suggested chopping the Mayoral limo. Audrey was of course thrilled to learn she'd have to go to all her Mayoress engagements on the bus. Steve returned from Florida and encountered his probation officer. She took one look at his posh flat and demanded he prove he had got the money to pay for it legitimately. And Curly went for his interview at Superscooper, which went well, apart from the fact that he implied Raquel was his fiancé.
FRIDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 25th and 28th November 1994
It was Deirdre's wedding day and she got nostalgic for her previous lovers. Apparently Billy Walker and Ray Langton were exciting, while Ken Barlow made her feel safe. Samir, meanwhile, made her feel young. Mike laid on a limo and Bet laid on a reception and Deirdre wore a sort of weird headband thing and she married her toyboy. Tracy turned up halfway through, at Ken's urging, but left after telling her mum she looked nice. Steve told Fiona he might be going to prison if he couldn't prove where his money came from, and she told him to man up and ask Mike Baldwin for help. Mike agreed to falsify the accounts so it looked like he'd made loads of money on the deal - so long as Steve agreed to be at his beck and call. (Where does Steve get his money from anyway?) Curly asked Raquel to accompany him to a works do as his intended, but she refused, so Bet volunteered her services instead. He was too scared to say no and was greatly relieved when she finally admitted she was winding him up. Mavis returned from her holidays and was shocked to learn Rita had been going out with Roger. She thought he was holding a torch for her and was annoyed he'd seemed to have put her out his mind.
Aw, Deirdre and Samir were lovely, weren't they? He was probably the only man who made her happy. Don't worry, I'm not going soft, and you can see me being all cynical and nasty on Twitter @merseytart.
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