The Week In Classic Corrie

MONDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 30th November and 2nd December 1994

Steve took the fake accounts to his probation officer and satisfied her that he was legit.  (Incidentally her office had a great view down Quay Street, almost as they'd used one of the production offices at Granada Studios).  His luck was in elsewhere, as not only did he cop off with Fiona, but he also won big on the fruit machine at the Legion.  However, this annoyed an old biddy on the committee, who reckoned Liz was fixing it so her family cashed in, so Liz resigned in a huff.  Maureen was stressed at running the corner shop, not least because Maud sloped off to the pub.  When she complained, her mother pointed out she was getting her labour for free and asked for wages.  Raquel agreed to go to Curly's Christmas party and pretend to be his fiance.  He bought her a dress to wear as thanks.  Mavis was jealous of Rita's closeness with Roger the painter, who offered to paint her portrait, while Denise told Ken she didn't want him at the baby's birth.  Meanwhile Gail said she had a really good feeling about this Christmas.  So that's cursed then.

TUESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 5th and 7th December 1994

Brian the chauffeur went to visit Audrey and her pink velour pantsuit.  She let slip that Alf was getting rid of the limo and promised to do her best to change his mind.  She told him she'd resign from her public duties if he didn't get it back, but Alf called her bluff and installed Betty as his new Mayoress.  Denise was sick of Ken interfering in her life and considered selling the salon to get away from him, which worried Fiona as it'd put her out of a job.  On the plus side, Steve asked her to move in with him.  Samir tried to patch things up between Emily and Deirdre, because he's a very sweet young man, but his new position as a tax-paying British citizen went down badly at his cash-in-hand employers and they sacked him. 

WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 9th and 12th December 1994

Weatherfield was in the grip of a social whirl.  Betty started work as the Mayoress, attending functions across the town and leaving Bet short staffed.  She had to take on Liz to cover.  Rita went to the Newsagents' Ball with Roger, enraging Mavis.  Curly took Raquel to the Superscooper Christmas do, and she overcame her nerves at pretending to be his fiance and enjoyed herself.  Curly enjoyed it so much he proposed marriage; Raquel confessed to Bet that she didn't love him, but he was a very nice guy.  Jon refused to buy the salon off Denise because he didn't want his wife to get any of his money.  Samir got another job at a restaurant, but he received a visit from the Immigration Authorities; he and Deirdre had to go in for an interview.  Maureen was overworked and overemotional and she told Reg she couldn't cope any more.  She said they'd have to sell the shop.  And Jack's brother Cliff showed up at number 9 unexpectedly. 

THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 14th and 16th December 1994 

Reg swept Maureen off to a hotel for some afternoon delight, leaving Maud and Percy to hold the fort.  When Maud found out what Maureen had been up to she threatened to resign but Reg told her it made no difference - they were going to sell the shop anyway.  Jack's brother flirted with Vera and told Jack he had a heart condition and would be dead within the year.  She invited him to stay for Christmas.  Deirdre and Samir went to the airport to be interviewed, but he became enraged at the questioning and got taken away by the police.  Deirdre returned home on her own and burst into tears.  Ken went to the staff party at the school with another teacher, but she lost her temper when he took her to the Rovers and they ran into Denise.  She thought he was using her, and let's be honest, he probably was.  Raquel finally said yes to Curly's proposal.  He told Des his news, and admitted he knew Raquel would never love him like she'd loved Des.  Curly hoped that after a while she'd learn to love him as much as he loved her, which is heartbreaking on every level. 

FRIDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 19th and 21st December 1994

Vera went to Deirdre to accompany her to work and was sent out on her ear.  She deduced that Samir had left her and wasted no time telling Percy.  Deirdre went desperately round the Street trying to get help but it fell on deaf ears.  Alf didn't want to get involved, Ken said it was none of his business, and Liz advised her to move on.  Desperate, she went to Emily to ask for some money, but Emily refused.  The only person who helped her was Mike Baldwin, who took her to the airport and gave her the name of a solicitor.  Samir was released and told her this would never have happened in Morocco.  Well no, of course it wouldn't mate, you're Moroccan.  Maureen apologised to Maud for selling the shop out from under her but explained how stressed she was.  Maud took on Sally in the evenings to try and alleviate the pressure and, incidentally, persuade them to change their minds about flogging the shop. 

It might be spring in 2020, but it'll be Christmas in Weatherfield next week.  Send your festive greetings to the author via Twitter @merseytart.

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The Week In Classic Corrie

MONDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 7th and 9th November 1994

With Tanya gone, Andy took on the vacancy at the Rovers.  Raquel and Bet demonstrated the ways and means in what I am pretty sure constituted sexual harassment; Bet was dressed in her scanty black nightwear and they showed him how to apply a "special touch" to move round behind the bar without colliding.  Raquel had earlier offered the job to Curly but he'd not been keen to fall that far.  Instead she persuaded Reg to give Curly a glowing character reference and dropped unsubtle hints to Des to give him a job at the bookie's.  Rita was glowering in the Kabin because she'd not received a special invitation to see baby Lauren.  Meanwhile at number 13 Sally and Kevin were wondering why she'd not been over to see her.  They finally sorted it out, and Rita arrived with a savings bond for the new baby.  She got there in time to learn that they'd changed her name to Sophie after a day of Rosie calling her the same name as her doll.  Between that and their first child being named after Rosamund Street I'm glad the Websters didn't have a third child called Branston Pickle or something.  Samir declined Deirdre's proposal because he thought she'd only asked him to keep him in the country, not because she loved him.  In turn Deirdre worried that he would leave her.  Derek and Mavis were loved up after their recent problems, celebrating their sixth wedding anniversary with a new budgie called Beauty. I may have preferred them when they were rowing.

TUESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 11th and 14th November 1994

You know how sometimes the very worst people make a very good point and you resent it?  Percy spotted Audrey giving the kiddies a lift to school in the mayoral limo and objected to Alf on this waste of ratepayer's money.  He was absolutely right but Percy was also really annoying.  The Wiltons held a glamorous dinner party with Roger the drippy painter, Angela, Norris and Rita in attendance.  Unfortunately the conversations was stilted and the food was awful so the guests sloped off early to the Rovers.  It became extremely awkward when Mavis and Derek then showed up in the pub and caught them having a much better time.  The next morning Roger turned up at the Kabin with some flowers and asked Rita out for dinner.  You can do better, Reet.  Samir admitted he had been thinking about Deirdre's proposal and told her they should get married.  They rushed to the registry office to organise things, though Samir's mate Omar was shocked by how old Deirdre was.  Curly started work at the bookmaker's and Jack took advantage of his inexperience to push through a bet at the wrong odds.  Des paid out at the correct rates and Don and Jim pressured Jack into apologising to Curly and spending his meagre winnings on a Scotch as an apology.

WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 16th and 18th November 1994

There was an unexpected visitor at the McDonald house: Steve's probation officer, looking for him as he'd not showed up for his community service.  Liz truthfully told her she had no idea where he was but Jim dropped in the fact that he had a flat in Wethy Quays.  Liz tried calling his mobile (or as Andy called it, "his walkie-talkie") but finally found out where he was when a postcard from Florida landed on the mat.  Jim was predictably outraged.  Curly gave up his job at the bookies, which was handy because Sean the manager was about to sack him, and instead got himself an interview at bargain chain Superscooper, which I continually misheard as Pooperscooper.  Deirdre told Tracy she was engaged to Samir and of course she exploded, because Tracy is a self-centred brat.  She passed the news on to Denise, who informed a stunned Ken.  He went round and suggested that (a) Deirdre was only marrying Samir to keep him in the country and (b) she was only doing it because she was bitter he was having a baby with Denise.  Deirdre chucked the self-centred nark out on his ear.  On the plus side, someone at the Moroccan Embassy has clearly been in touch, because suddenly everyone is calling him "Samir" and not "Shamir."

THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 21st and 23rd November 1994

I had to turn on the subtitles at the start of today's episodes because it sounded like Percy Sugden was on the hunt for sex.  He asked Rita for sex, he asked Reg for sex, but nobody would help him out.  It turned out he was saying "segs", which are metal shoe protectors, but for a while there I was really disturbed.  In fact the segs talk went on into the Rovers and it appeared Martin was the only one who misheard.  Ken saw Samir at the bus stop and gave him a lift.  On the way, he told him not to rush into marriage with Deirdre, and Samir rightly told him to get stuffed and got out of the car.  Undeterred, Ken went to Emily and told her that Samir was only after a passport.  An upset Emily in turn refused to be a witness at what she believed was a sham marriage.  Still, Deirdre got a glam new hairdo, a kind of Liza Minelli in Cabaret bob, and went to her hen do in the Rovers.  Alf felt that Audrey was getting too chummy with Brian the chauffeur and so, when he attended a meeting for Council cutbacks, he suggested chopping the Mayoral limo.  Audrey was of course thrilled to learn she'd have to go to all her Mayoress engagements on the bus.  Steve returned from Florida and encountered his probation officer.  She took one look at his posh flat and demanded he prove he had got the money to pay for it legitimately.   And Curly went for his interview at Superscooper, which went well, apart from the fact that he implied Raquel was his fiancé.


FRIDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 25th and 28th November 1994

It was Deirdre's wedding day and she got nostalgic for her previous lovers.  Apparently Billy Walker and Ray Langton were exciting, while Ken Barlow made her feel safe.  Samir, meanwhile, made her feel young.  Mike laid on a limo and Bet laid on a reception and Deirdre wore a sort of weird headband thing and she married her toyboy.  Tracy turned up halfway through, at Ken's urging, but left after telling her mum she looked nice.  Steve told Fiona he might be going to prison if he couldn't prove where his money came from, and she told him to man up and ask Mike Baldwin for help.  Mike agreed to falsify the accounts so it looked like he'd made loads of money on the deal - so long as Steve agreed to be at his beck and call.  (Where does Steve get his money from anyway?)  Curly asked Raquel to accompany him to a works do as his intended, but she refused, so Bet volunteered her services instead.  He was too scared to say no and was greatly relieved when she finally admitted she was winding him up.  Mavis returned from her holidays and was shocked to learn Rita had been going out with Roger.  She thought he was holding a torch for her and was annoyed he'd seemed to have put her out his mind.

Aw, Deirdre and Samir were lovely, weren't they?  He was probably the only man who made her happy.  Don't worry, I'm not going soft, and you can see me being all cynical and nasty on Twitter @merseytart.

Classic Corrie is on ITV3 every weekday at 14:50.

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The Week In Classic Corrie

MONDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 14th and 17th October 1994

You would think the Wiltons were destined for one another, not least because no-one else will have them, but jealousy was driving deep cracks throughout their relationship.  Roger brought round the portrait of Mavis and Derek furiously threw him and the painting out.  He soon lost the high ground when a letter arrived from a solicitor naming him as a co-respondent in Angela's divorce.  Their argument raged and Mavis finally flounced out to Rita's.  Nicky was still living at Don's.  Gail was suspicious when she heard he was off school sick, especially when she saw him doing his paper round the next day, but he fed her a load of flannel and she believed him.  However she caught him doing odd jobs in the corner shop and she went to Don and told him to be more strict.  Alma took Mike to a Moroccan restaurant because she'd heard Samir was working there and she wanted a nose, which allowed Mike to wheel out a load of awful racist cliches about filthy foreign muck.  Samir claimed he was just doing a favour for a friend and not actually working there, which Mike noted wouldn't carry much weight if Immigration came calling.  Curly was depressed at losing his job and his sofa, and Vera turning up for a look didn't help, and Bet told Charlie she could never trust him again and sent him away. 

TUESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 19th and 21st October 1994

Curly was still low about his sacking and confessed to Raquel that it was for sexual harassment.  She reassured him he wasn't a bad person and he admitted he was in love with her.  Bet told her to put him straight sharpish which just made Curly feel even worse.  Fiona was going on holiday (with someone called Maxine!), upsetting Steve as he realised she was off on a girlie trawl round Tenerife and would probably find someone else.  Mike told Steve to take Fiona away and said he'd look after the business while he was gone.  I bet he will, the old shark.  Mavis was still staying at Rita's, driving her mad.  Derek tried to make it up to her but then he discussed Angela in positive terms and she was livid.  Roger the painter came round to see her and told her to stay away from Derek, because he'd studied psychology and he knew he was a beast.  Incidentally Roger is such a drip he makes Victor look like Tyson Fury.  At Rita's urging Mavis decided to turn the tables: she kicked Derek out of number 4 and moved in herself. 

WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 24th and 26th October 1994

The back and forth between Mavis and Derek continued, interminably, as he found refuge at Norris Cole's.  (Incidentally Norris without his grey hair is very weird).  Norris told Mavis where he'd stayed, but she was convinced he'd stayed at Angela's, while Derek was horrified to call home and find the haunted portrait on the wall and Roger taking tea.  She told him she'd take him back if he resigned from Angela's company but he refused, so I guess this storyline is going to roll into November.  Deirdre went to see Samir at his restaurant and became unsettled when she saw he was surrounded by saucy young waitresses.  He reassured her she was the one for him.  Steve tried to sweep Fiona off to Florida and she told him to get lost; they weren't committed to one another and she wanted to have some fun with her mates.  Ken spoke to Don about Nicky's homework, which annoyed Gail because she was his mum, but Don pushed back and told her to trust him and stop nagging.   

THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 28th and 31st October 1994

Somewhat appropriately, given that it's nearly Hallowe'en in Weatherfield, we finally got to meet Grand High Witch Angela Hawthorne after being talked about but never seen for a decade.  She went to see Mavis and told her that she had no interest in Derek - he'd been named as a co-respondent by her husband as a way of getting more money out of her.  Angela's dismissive attitude inflamed Mavis but she still refused to take Derek back while he worked for her.  Mike encouraged Steve to go to Tenerife with Fiona, and he bought a ticket as a romantic gesture.  Fiona didn't find it at all romantic though and we got a patented Pint Over The Head In The Rovers as a result.  Steve turned up at the factory, which surprised Mike, because he wanted him out the way so he could clinch a big deal.  He got him to do some packing while Mike went and collected the cash while wearing a terrible white polo neck that was presumably to make him look young.  He talked down Steve with the contact and implied that he was the reliable one in the business.  Maureen tried to sort Curly's life out for him, going round and tidying up his house and asking Reg to find him a job.  Elsewhere, Sarah-Lou turned up on Don's doorstep because she missed Nicky, and Samir hid from the immigration people checking the restaurant for illegal workers.

FRIDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 2nd and 4th November 1994

Sally finally went into labour, weeks past her due date, as David's boisterous play got her over stimulated.  She went into hospital and gave birth to a baby girl, who the Websters called... Lauren?  Hang on, what?  Mike presented Steve with his profits from the £30,000 deal and it turned out he'd been extremely creative with the accounting.  Steve had come out with £493 profit and he was understandably livid.  He was even more angry when he discovered Mike had set up another deal with the same customer... and cut Steve out entirely.  Samir and Deirdre were enjoying their time together, though it was still overshadowed by the fact that he was hiding from the authorities.  Deirdre came up with the perfect solution and proposed marriage.  Derek, at Norris's urging, got a bedsit to himself, and when he returned to number 4 to pick up his stuff he found Harry the budgie dead on the bottom of his cage.  Mavis returned home and convinced herself that it was the hatred between her and Derek in the air that had killed him.  They agreed to put everything behind them and reconcile.  Thank heavens for that.

You can complain all you like about the fast pace of Current Corrie - and God knows @merseytart does, on a weekly basis - but at least they wouldn't have dragged out this tedious Derek and Mavis storyline for two months.

Classic Corrie is on ITV3 every weekday from 14:50.

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