Sunday, 15 April 2012

Sympathy for Stella?

To paraphrase Shakespeare (or possibly Margaret Drabble), she's more sinned against than sinning. I speak of the saintly Stella Price, the Rovers landlady who suffereth like no other ever to tread t'cobbles. Are we warming to this (bottle) blonde harridan? Do our eyes moisten as we watch her face life's hard battles?

Let's face it, Stella has hardly been blessed with the most joyous of families. Her partner is a gambler with a Lancashire accent so thick that Mary's mobile home could get stuck in it. One of her daughters is a wooden spoon with a blonde wig and has no discernible personality. The other is coke-snorting ex prozzie who shrieks and seems welded to her ugly red coat. Soon to arrive on the scene is Stella's mother, Sheila Grant/Barbara Royle, who will no doubt spend her time either screaming in anguish or asking Stella what she had for her tea.

Then we have Stella's staff. Oh dear. She's stuck with dreary old Sean, a twenty-first century Bet Lynch who'll be slipping into single entendres before the year is out. Poor old Stella also has to contend with Vinegar T*ts Tina, surely the world's sourest barmaid. With her miserable dispostion and lived-in face, it must come as a relief to have any customers left at all. Then we have Sunita, wicked old unfaithful Sunita, dressed as if she was an accountant who had popped into the circus big top on her way in. Surely Stella has realised that all Sunita ever does is arrive, jiggle her baps around for a few minutes, look worried and then collect her coat and march out.

Stella needs to increase her takings in order to pay off Karl's debts. It may take some time, as she's hardly going to rack up a fortune based on Ken's half pint and Emily's sweet sherry. No, she needs to cultivate some of the borderline alcoholics. Deirdre's the kind of woman who would probably slurp wine from a plastic bucket given the chance and Rita must be 90% vodka at least by now.

So let's form a caring circle around this most misunderstood of women. Weep into a pint pot at the very thought of her plight on those northern backstreets. People of Britain (and Canada of course) - Stand Strong with Stella!

11 comments:

Flaming Nora said...

My god David. You don't post much but when you do, it's wonderful stuff!!

Humpty Dumpty said...

Great blog, very funny.

I don't feel any sympathy for Stella because it's self-inflicted. She doesn't wait to be asked for help, she looks around for 'wounded birds' and believes she's the only one who can save them. Psycho-babble alert: she's a 'rescuer', maybe suffered abuse in her child and other people's pain brings back bad memories. More of this, maybe, when her mother arrives. Naturally, she attracts miserable no-hopers who only have to waft across her field of vision and they're netted in. Stella's different from Eileen who also helps miserable no-hopers but that's because she's a soft touch.

You might want to feel sorry for someone so damaged and I would - if Stella didn't get up nose quite so much.

Clinkers (David) said...

I think the jury is still out over Stella! I don't loathe the woman but I do get a little edgy when her accent drops (it did quite shockingly in one of last week's episodes). 2012 has to be make or break for her I think . . .

Clinkers (David) said...

I think the jury is still out over Stella! I don't loathe the woman but I do get a little edgy when her accent drops (it did quite shockingly in one of last week's episodes). 2012 has to be make or break for her I think . . .

Anonymous said...

Sorry still find Stella unpopular, she just doesn't quite 'fit in' in my opinion!

Anonymous said...

She just has too much ESP for my liking. Knows what Karl is thinking even before he does.

Adam Rekitt said...

You should either be writing scripts for Coronation Street or be employed as humour consultant. I'd love Mary to tell Rita she must be 80% vodka by now.

Although your blog put me in a good mood, there is no hope for Stella. Sue Johnstone is not going to stick around long term and it seems to me that importing all these well known actors is beginning to smack of desperation.

Anna in nz said...

I don't like Stella...I just can't warm to her at all, she's one-dimensonal, like that awful Eva.

Don't know what they are going to do to make her less like that. I really couldn't care less about Karl either.

Frosty the Snowman said...

To me Stella is still just a bland insipid character and Michelle Collins never made the impact that she did as Cindy Beale in the London Soap. I dont really care about her and her problems and just dragging in other members of her family is just daft. I see Sue Johnson is to play another "feisty" character which is Corrie speak for loud middle aged harridan. Lord spare us! Perhaps if it is true that Betty owned the Rovers then this family can GO, mates of the producer or not!!

fascinatakat said...

I just really, really can't bear to listen to her talk. Her accent is TERRIBLE and just isn't improving; it's just embarassing.
Distracting as it is I can't help spending every scene she's in studying the other actors' faces to see if they're flinching. It's testament to their acting skills that they're not but it does not make for enjoyable scenes to watch.
There's nothing wrong with the character, if she'd been played by another actress she would've been fine, if not utterly unremarkable. Forgettable character, unforgettably awful accent (and the acting is not great, either. Sorry. )

ChiaGwen said...

Stella has just not jelled with any of the other characters. Perhaps if her intro into Corrie had been slower, rather than putting her luggage down and oh by the way Leanne, I'm your Mom and then progressing onto daily counselling of total strangers, maybe it might have worked out....but really the fact she even allowed Les to touch her bare body, oh my, how can anyone trust her counsel. :-0

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