Monday, 14 October 2019

Happy Alahanniversary!

We are giving you plenty of notice. Well, a couple of weeks anyway. It's time to stock up on cheap drinks and nibbles because we've got some congratulating to do. So why not pop down to your friendly local corner shop where the proprietor is CELEBRATING (he shouted) twenty years behind the COUNTER. Yes it's true - November marks the twentieth anniversary of Devendra Alahan's rise to glory.

Let's try and place ourselves in that hallowed age. Pre-Millennium Weatherfield. Natalie Barnes was in charge of the Rovers and Sharon 'Kennels' Gaskell had assumed ownership of The Kabin. Jim McDonald was still this side of the law and ITV were launching their 'late night' version of the soap, some old nonsense involving a series of Bet's wigs and Reg Holdsworth gurning for a few minutes. Into all of this stepped Dev, then a youthful 35 years old, ready to rescue the corner shop from dull cousin Nita and wastrel Vik.

Twenty years. Longer than Florrie, Maggie, Renee and Alf, the Devster has stood LOUD and proud behind numerous counters, depending on whether the producer at the time was in the mood to burn it down. Dev, we soon discovered, was a hit with the ladies. Eh? Well, take a look at that 1999 cast list again - Jim, Les Battersby, Fred Elliott, Gary Mallett . . . Even Spider Nugent must have looked tempting. Dev initially came with added baggage, namely a scary ex-girlfriend called Amy. Many more followed including the seemingly normal Geena Gregory. They were even engaged but Geena, like the rest of the nation, recoiled in horror on discovering that Dev had got jiggy with Deirdre at Christmas. Can you hear it? The sound of eleven million viewers heaving on their turkey drumsticks.

Dev's true love, well for a couple of years at any rate, was the lovely Sunita. Rather than just help her out by giving her a job, he decided to marry her following a courtship which included the pair almost being burned alive in the remnants of the shop. In 2006, Sunita gave birth to the glum twins, mistakenly thinking that they were Dev's first offsrpring. Wrong! There seemed to be Alahan kiddies around every corner. Remember the lovely Amber? She eventually tired of Dev too, as did her mother who ran off to Finland (Finland?). Sunita went one step further and decided to stop breathing altogether, although this was following her momentous 'baps' era during which her cleavage often entered the room five minutes before she did.

Men seemed to enjoy Dev's company too . . . no, not in that way although the Devster certainly isn't shy when it comes to camping it up.  No, our Dev is a man's man, golfing with the likes of Mike Baldwin, Steve McDonald and ... err, Fred Elliott. It was always great fun to see this pair bellowing away like angry hippos. Of that gang though, only Steve's LASTED (oops sorry - inopportune shouting there) the course.

Dev's list of employees is as long as your arm. Whereas Maggie Clegg was happy to idle the seventies away with the odd Norma Ford here and there, Dev managed to get through Deirdre, Sally, Todd, Leanne, Sarah, Mad Maya, Molly, Mary, Soph-eh, the wonderful Uncle Umed and the equally joyous Evelyn amongst others. He's had more assistants than Doctor Who which is an apt analogy, given the expanding and contracting walls of the Tardis-esque shop.

Let's help ourselves to a bottle of warm asti spumante from the shop's shelves, grab some wilted flowers from the stand outside and raise a toast to the hollering hunk of grocery goodness that is Dev. May he reign behind the counter for decades to come or at least until another tram crash lands in his soft fruit.

Happy ANNIVERSARY!







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3 comments:

maggie muggins said...

It's good to have a bit of a laugh about now, Clinkers! Especially since we're about to experience a WHOLE WEEK without any Corrie. Cheers to the equally annoying and beloved the Alahan Empire!

Louby said...

Dev is brilliant. Does he still own the other shops or did they never get rebuilt after being blown up by Maya?

coconno196 said...

Dev sold the other shops to get out of financial difficulty a few years back. I am glad the writers have stopped showing Dev as a complete idiot. He has a lovely relationship with Mary, and recent scenes with Asha have been very well written and acted.

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