The Yasmeen-Sally feud rumbles on. It went a bit quiet for a while, with a seeming detente achieved, but it's good to know that Yasmeen and Sally will still prick at one another given the opportunity. It won't take much to restart the glorious war of snobbery between these two Alpha Women; someone reignite the whole gazebo vs orangery debate. The consequent fireworks would save us a bomb on November 5th.
Silence is golden. Joseph has returned from Spain apparently mute due to the trauma of losing his mother. My question is: how can they tell? Children on Corrie tend to be silent before the age of ten anyway. I'm pretty sure Ruby's said about eight words during her five years on this earth, and both Hope and Jack were only allowed to speak when they'd been given new heads who could be trusted. Joseph's job for the next few years is just to eat fish fingers in silence until he hits puberty, when he'll turn into a sex mad demon child who'll snort coke off the climbing frame in the Red Rec.
Corrie themed exercise videos are still big sellers. Now the product placement rules have been relaxed, Helen Worth felt free to slip in a subtle reference to her forthcoming exercise DVD. Coming this January to a Tesco near you, Gail Platt Gets Buns Of Steel By Strutting Down Crimea Street In Lycra. It's fun and easy and doesn't at all make you look like John Inman after a couple of margaritas!
The Street's residents are very, very polite. How else do you explain that Robert and David radically changed their appearance and no-one felt the need to comment on it? A cursory mention of Robert being a "silver fox" aside, there was absolutely no dwelling on the brand new hair situations going on with the pair of them. Has David been replaced by his evil twin? Was Robert scared so much in prison he turned platinum? We'll never know.
Audrey Roberts remains the Street's premier lush. A few weeks ago, we noticed that Audrey spent her entire day in the Rovers knocking back G&Ts. This week, Rita's celebration - a party that basically consisted of Gemma, Jenny, Gail and Audrey on Wednesday's episodes - descended into a wild debauched rave involving kebabs and single malt. Since Gail was off powerwalking, Jenny went to bed with an oblivious Johnny, and Rita is an octogenarian, Gemma can only have spent her night partying with the former Lady Mayoress. And judging by the state of Gemma, it looks like Audrey came off better. That's the advantage being a professional alcoholic gives you.
If you have your own ideas about how to get Yasmeen and Sally arguing again, let me know on Twitter @merseytart.
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