Coronation Street Weekly Update, December 26 2011

 

Greetings and welcome to the Coronation Street Weekly Update. I trust you’ve all had a good Christmas and are wearing your new socks and pants with pride. It’s Corrie’s Christmas week and there’s been a lot happening so this could be a lot longer than you’re used to, as Norris will probably never say to Mary. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.

Find out more about the Coronation Street Weekly Updates and why they've been written for th'internet since 1995 at http://www.corrieweeklyupdates.btinternet.co.uk/

‘Tis the season to be jolly with peace and goodwill to all men. As for the women, they’re at each other’s throats with Tracy telling everyone who’ll listen that Becky pushed her down the stairs and killed her unborn twins. Stressed Becky necks back the voddy straight from the bottle, she’s beside herself with misery, made worse when she spots Steve on his knees on the cobbles asking Tracy-luv to marry him and of course the deluded mare, she says yes. There’s more voddy, more necking, more crying, more tears. And then Becky crawls up to her flat, burns her wedding pictures of Steve and falls asleep on the sofa as the flat goes up in flames.

But fear not, for lo, there’s a mobile phone gone astray at Gail’s house and Nick recognises it’s Becky’s, dashes to her flat to give it back to her, spots the flames, drags Becks out and is hailed a hero. Mind you, I was surprised the role of Becky’s saviour wasn’t given to Saint Stella of the Rovers, she seems to have an uncanny and irritating knack of saving every troubled soul on the Street and she’s only been in the show five minutes.

Anyway, Becky’s more determined than ever to prove Tracy’s telling lies about losing the babies and reports herself to the cops for assaulting Tracy. There’s method in her madness when the cops quiz Tracy and demand to know why she didn’t report the assault herself. Ooh, it’ll all come out, just you wait and see. And in the meantime, every time a flash of guilt crosses Deirdre’s face, the camera pans right in on her and you can see right up her nose.


 Peter and Carla share a Christmas moment and he gives her necklace. It’s a necklace that Stella (see, she’s involved again) has already seen in Peter’s shopping bag and assumes it’s for Leanne’s Christmas gift, but it’s not, it’s for Carla.

It wouldn’t be Christmas without a lickle baby and in true soap fashion, unto us Corrie fans a child is born at the Weatherfield Community Centre nativity play. Pregnant Katy steps in to play Mary when little FAYe drops out with nerves. Katy goes into labour and gives birth to a little boy they name Joseph with a middle name of Peter after Chesney’s dog Schmeichel, which was a nice touch. Chesney almost missed the birth though ‘cos he was dressed as an elf stranded in the middle of a forest. It’s a long story and if were more interesting I’d tell you, but it’s not.

Left to the babysitting while Katy goes on a night out with Anna, Fiz and Izzy, Chesney enlists Kirk’s help to get his new baby off to sleep. “How der yer do it?” wonders Chesney when Kirk rocks baby Joseph Peter Battersby-Brown Armstrong to sleep. “I whisper lines from me favourite films in his ear”. I bet mumsnetters were all over the forums with that one.

At the nativity, little Simon’s playing an innkeeper. “Like Steve?” he asks Ken. “More like a simple man,” replies Ken to which little Simon goes: “Like Kirk?”

Gail’s back from Milan and in a bad mood so Kylie offers to leave her to her Menopause Monthly magazine and cook Christmas dinner instead. It’s all a bit tense but it goes to plan in the end and Kylie stands by her sister, encouraging her to wreak revenge on tacky Tracy.

On Christmas Day, David Platt celebrated his 21st birthday. And as any Corrie fan knows, Rosie Webster was born the day before David, on Christmas Eve, yet her 21st went unmentioned, which was rather odd I thought. But anyway Rosie’s far too busy organising Sophie and Sian’s lesbian hen party to remember her own 21st. Like, er, no, that just would not happen. At the hen do, Amber does her best to mooch about looking miserable and Sunita knows that summat happened between Amber and Sophie and tells Sophie to look into her heart before she marries Sian. Rita turns up first at the hen-do and Rosie takes her coat. “Have you ever been to a teenage lesbian hen party before?” she asks Reet who has a quick think, because there’s not much this woman hasn’t done, before replying. “Do you know, I don’t think I have.”

At Roy’s Rolls, Rita, Emily, Norris and Dennis are put right off their sprouts when Sylvia returns from her cruise. She’s full of tales of a sprightly seventy-odd year old called Milton, an American, who gave her the glad-eye while she was onboard. Sylvia then gets out her uke-banjo and gives them a festive fiddle, prompting Norris to declare he can do better. Sylvia demands that he prove it and lays a £50 bet that she’ll win the musical stand-off. Mary offers to be Norris’ musical muse and teach him to play the piano when he admits that he’s rubbish at tinkling the ivories.

And finally, Izzy and Gary have a Christmas snog. I love these two together, I really do.

And that’s just about that for this week. Remember, sign up to get these spam-free Corrie weekly updates by email at http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/corrieweeks/

This week's writers were Damon Rochefort, John Kerr, Martin Allen, Chris Fewtrell and Jayne Hollinson. Find out more about the Coronation Street writing team at: http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com/2008/11/exclusive-all-current-corrie-writers.html

Glenda Young
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com/