I'm loving the return of Big Jim and his catchphrases, so I am. Cue: conflict with Steve, cue: smouldering looks at Elizabeth, cue: sommat for Liz to do other than look sadly at Johnny, cue:....rather ridiculous storyline. Jim goes out for lunch with Liz and drops his bombshell whilst the mystery woman from Friday's ep watches from another table. You'll all have read the previews - Katie, Jim and Liz's baby, who died at birth, didn't die at birth, but was swapped in the hospital and is now Hannah from Australia and Jim has the DNA test to prove it. One baby swap storyline may be regarded as a misfortune; to have two looks like careless writing.
Ryan is skint and scabbing money, although Ali gives him half his takeaway latte instead of a fiver. Tell you what, Ry, join the Costa Club and you get your 15th coffee free! Ryan gets a cheque (because it's 2009, apparently) from the Bank of Disc Jockeying and Dr Ali bets him he'll have spent it all in a week. He's wrong - Ryan blows it all in a day. But then finds out his
Billy tells Josh that he can't visit him any more, which upsets Josh since he doesn't have any friends or family that like him enough to come see him. Why is he still in hospital anyway? Apart from the fact that the writers are contractually obliged to set one scene in the hospital every episode? Surely rehab would have started by now. Anyway, he asks Billy to pray with him because he's a manipulative sociopath, and Billy is taken in.
Tyrone can only focus on one thing at a time, so he's gone from being convinced that Jackie snatched him as a baby to being certain that he was abandoned by his biological mum. What about an informal adoption? What about a Mary/Jude type situation? Anyway, Ty says he doesn't want to keep on looking, but Fiz privately asks Packham and Cropper Detecive Agency to keep doing research.
And finally, Tracy is put out that tedious Jude is up for a Good Samaritan Award (and she doesn't even know his saving Roy was a lie), so she talks Abi into faking a heroic act, although Abi is not keen on either of Tracy's plans, which involve getting punched in the face or jumping into the canal. Could be worse, Abs, Ms Barlow's plan could involve braining you with an ornament.
Rachel Stevenson - on twitter
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