She's Behind You! (on a chair)

The Christmas panto preparations have certainly taken my mind off the horrendous sight of Dev and Steve in diamond-print jumpers. Just when I was beginning to wonder whether their golfing attire were gifts bequeathed in Mike Baldwin’s will, along come Becky and Claire with their seasonal extravaganza.

Now we have the prospect of Betty rising (or should that be sitting down?) to the occasion as fairy godmother. These days, Betty spends all her days impersonating Chad, peeping over the bar of the Rovers from a stool that’s two foot shorter than whoever she’s talking to. How she’ll be manoeuvred into action on the night of the performance should be worth tuning in for.

Although it has to be said that a golden opportunity was missed in not casting Carla and Michelle as the Ugly Sisters. Last Friday, the pair met in the Street to see who was kitted out in the most black. Raven hair: check. Black winter coat: check. Black handbag: check. Identically sculptured eyebrows: again, check. We’re obviously bubbling up to something with these two, hopefully a finely crafted slanging match.

Which is the exact opposite of what we’re getting with Dev at the moment. Sunita seems to have been brought back in to just shout a lot while wearing a sleeveless poncho. So far, aside from Dev’s goggly-eyed glasses and accusations of paedophilia, it’s all been a bit lacklustre. Hopefully Matt and Dev will soon come to blows and start hitting each other with copies of The Gruffalo and We’re Going on a Bear Hunt.