Coronation Street Weekly Update, November 9 2009

I’ve just put me pie in the oven so I can’t stand around chatting this week. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.

Gail Platt and water are not a good mix. Scared of canals, waterways and wicked men, Gail’s life hasn’t been the same since Brian was stabbed up the alley and she’s not had a smile on her face since 1984 when Ivy Tilsley fluffed her lines. So Gail’s smiling again and that can only be a bad sign. And there’s water involved, which means her future’s not bright, it’s possibly fatal.

Joe steers his love boat into Gail’s dry dock and asks her to marry him and the silly mare says yes. David’s not best pleased, but then he never is, and while Tina wishes her dad and Gail well, she’s not too happy to have David as a brother. Meanwhile, Joe cracks open the champagne on the sofa (while one of my all-time favourite songs played in the background, The Pioneer’s Let Your Yeah be Yeah) and swears undying love while the debt collectors gather and take his van as part payment. He also loses his job, but hey, he’s still got that boat. He might be up salt creek with no paddle but he has got that boat, which he names Gail Force, of course. You’d have thought Gail would’ve whispered those magic three little words into Joe’s ear at a time such as this - Citizen’s Advice Bureau – but Gail doesn’t know what she’s letting herself in for when she agrees to become Mrs McIntyre and there, my friends, lies the fun of it all.

There’s a wet drip, drip, drip outside of Tony Gordon’s bedroom window but it’s not the rain belting down from the Salford skies, it’s Roy Cropper who’s taken to stalking. Roy stands in the rain in the middle of the night, sending evil thoughts to Tony who he knows has killed Liam. Hayley and Maria are at their wits end and beg Roy to leave Tony alone but Roy’s got to do what a man’s got to do. He goes uber-weird and plays to his strengths, keeping an eye out for Tony, who needs it more than most.

Emily’s niece Freda returns as she’s lost her job and needs somewhere to stay. She brings with her a spare leg that she’s nicked from her disabled boss, which I thought rather mean. I’m not keen on Freda, me. She does have some wonderful comic moments with Graeme this week though. He asks her to show him some rude sign language (do you point up one finger or two?) but in the end she tells him: “I assume I’m not lip reading you properly but you just say weird things!”

Over in The Kabin, Norris takes on yet another new assistant when Horace Steel arrives. Horace and Norris not only look-a-like and wear the same clothes, they’re brothers under the skin. “There’s two of them!” yells Simon when he sees the poor man’s Gilbert and George behind the counter.

Meanwhile, over at the Barlows, Deirdre’s disastrous cheese straws weren’t the only talking point when Simon’s other granddad, George, pops in for tea. Blanche takes a fancy to the fella after he mistakes her for Ken’s wife, and she sets her cap at him in a way that only Blanche could.

At the factory, Tony takes on Hayley as supervisor and office manager and the girls are all huffed, especially Sally as she thought she was in charge.

Jack’s back on the Street this week. He’s worried Connie’s on the prowl to satiate her lust when he spots her by his bedroom door, hand on his doorknob, ready to break down and enter his room as he sleeps. He wants to move back in with Tyrone but Connie’s confused and wonders why Jack’s not speaking to her any more. Anyway, the truth comes out and Connie says she’s been sleepwalking: “I’m like Alfred Wainwright once I get started”, she says, (yeah, right) and that’s why she hovers on the landing at night like a dog on heat. It’s not because she fancies Jack, she says, and he breathes a sigh of relief when he says that’s good because he doesn’t fancy her either (yeah, right).

And in Fiz’s house, she cleans the place from top to bottom in preparation for John being released from jail but she’s still not happy with the way the house looks. Kirk comes up with the one good idea he’s had since he’s been on the show and decorates the place while Fiz is out, enlisting help from Chesney, David and Zoe. Aww, why can’t Kirkeh and Fiz get back together again? Oh, yes I remember, it’s because she’s now married to a kidnapping, pervert ex-con.

And that’s just about that for this week.

Coronation Street writers this week were David Lane, Jonathan Harvey, Damon Rochefort, Debbie Oates and Mark Wadlow.

Find out more about the Coronation Street writing team.

Find out more about the Coronation Street Weekly Updates

Glenda Young
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com/