Saturday, 10 September 2016

Corrie weekly update - Haircut, pineapple and the dead husband card

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Bullied Bethany gets suspended from school along with evil Lauren, the bully.  Sarah and Gary attend the meeting at school with Bethany and it looks like there might be a spark of something between Bethany and Gary.  When David finds out what’s happened, he makes the most of it when Lauren comes to the salon to gloat. He sends Bethany out to the café and locks the salon door. He pretends he’s giving Lauren a wash and blow-dry but chops off her hair!  I screamed at the telly when he did this, it was such a sick, brilliant, demented shock, but one Lauren definitely deserved.  It was a brilliant scene, the return of demon David, the demon barber of Coronation Street.  “What’s hair made of, Lauren?” he asked her, over and over. “Keratin!” he explained. It was a scene not unlike the one, remember, when Charlie Stubbs almost drowned David in the bath, plunging him under the water, asking him ‘Who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong?’. 

Anyway, before all of this, Audrey’s salon is nominated as Best Small Salon in the Greater Manchester Stylist Awards.  There’s a big awards bash, a hairdo-do if you like, to which Audrey and Maria will attend. But Audrey pulls out and Maria doesn’t want to go on her own so she asks Luke to go with.  When Steph finds out what Maria’s up to, she warns Maria not to hurt Luke, or else.  Luke’s looking fine in his tux. “You know what they say about a man in a tux,” comments Aidan in the Rovers, and Luke’s eyes light up.  Sadly for Luke’s eyes, and his tux, Maria pulls out of the event when she finds Caz crying at the bus stop. 

Caz has missed her bus and can’t cope living in civvy street. She really should have thought of that before she went awol, I think.  She cries on Maria’s cushions then nips out for a takeaway and a bottle of wine for a girly night in for them both. When she returns to the flat, she spies Maria getting changed in her bedroom and has a bit of a moment by the kitchen sink.
Nick threatens Steve that he’s going to tell Michelle about Leanne’s baby. He doesn’t, of course, and it’s a scene that went on for f-a-r too long. Would two men really have a long, drawn out conversation under a flyover, each begging the other to live and let live? No, they’d knock ten bells out of each other, go for a pint and never speak again.
Todd books a hotel room for a romantic bit of rumpy-pumpy but when Billy pulls away from Todd, Todd accuses the vicar of hiding under the Bishop’s petticoats. Spiteful Sean had already tried to cancel their hotel room booking when he found out what Todd had planned for his ex.  (I’m no fan of Sean’s but I would really have liked to see scenes of him living with Norris, I feel we’ve missed out on some wonderful comedy and pathos too.)  When Todd moves out of Eileen’s after he can take no more of phony Phelan, he moves into the rectory with Billy.  Just don’t let the Bishop find out!
Craig’s moved in with Sally as he’s so upset at having been lied to by Beth about his dad being in jail.  Beth buys a pineapple to woo Craig at home. I can understand why, it's my favourite fruit too. Sally acts as mediator between Beth and Craig and does her best, but it’s not enough to convince Craig that his mum’s heart is in the right place. I think it is, but she doesn’t know how to work it properly, is all.  Craig decides he wants to visit his dad in prison.

Cleaning the grannexe, which David now uses as his bedroom, Gail finds Kylie’s blood-stained jacket under his mattress. She tells him to move on, get over it and chuck the jacket out. “I was the same when Brian died,” she tells him. “Oh, play the dead Brian card!” David retorts. She’s still got the dead Joe card, the dead Richard card and the nearly dead Michael card to play yet.  Gail, it’s fair to say, isn’t letting David grieve very well at all.  He’s suffering so badly but has no-one to speak to, no-one who really knows what to do. And that’s why he logs onto his laptop, fires up FriendConnect and hunts down Cormac Hibbs, Kylie’s killer, friending him online with a pseudonym.

Over at chez Grimshaw, Phelan sweet talks Eileen and appoints her as Concepts Executive for the dodgy planning application for the non-existent flats. Eileen, living in a dodgy relationship with a non-existent partner, accepts the title with glee and a simpering smile.  Ooh, I really want to slap her.
And that’s just about that for this week.

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This week’s writers were Chris Fewtrell and Joe Turner (Monday double); Mark Wadlow (Wednesday); Jan McVerry and Debbie Oates (Friday double). Find out all about the Coronation Street writing team at

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Cobblestone said...

It isn't Kylie's killer David sent a friend request to, as he's in custody. It was his brother, Macca (Cormac)

Abercrombie said...

The scene between Steve and Nick was the dreariest, most prolonged load of tosh ever. Good point, Flaming Nora, two manly men would have dealt with it like men not a couple of semi comatose morons. On top of which, on the subject of Nick, why in heaven's name is Leanne begging for a relationship with the twice tried Nick when she vowed to raise her child on her own. Bah! Balderdash. The relationships the characters put up with - is this real life depiction, I wonder?

Anonymous said...

Oh look, there's Steve McDonald with his crazy body language and perpetual gurning. This character is tiresome and pathetic. He needs a total overhaul and the actor could benefit from some training.

Anonymous said...

Only in a Soap would Leanne and Steve hook up then on one encounter get her pregnant even though she could never get pregnant before. Then why would she tell Steve he was the father if she did not want his help. On another note why do they always tell all their secrets in the Rovers?
I hate this story please go back to the old days with numerous plot lines

Anonymous said...

That should have been humourous plot lines stupid auto correct 😡

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