This option, to hit the double arrow button, has suddenly taken on a greater importance. Last Monday I ended up watching very little of the show. The straw that eventually broke this camel's back was the unbelievably (in so many ways) grim tale of Geoff and Yasmeen. This is one 'we're highlighting the plight of ...' storylines too many and seems to have appeared from nowhere. There's an uneasy feeling that the producer suddenly realised that Geoff was a bit of a dud character. Initially a charmless berk and a comedy dad for Tim, he eventually settled down to become a bore. Years ago, these characters would be phased out. Think Keith Appleyard. Nowadays, the temptation is too great and they must remain.They must be evil. Gary Windass is another example. There was only so much staring into the middle distance that the actor could work with so now he's flogging second-hand foot stools with added murder. Tedious old Geoff is now manipulative old Geoff. Oddly, despite adding an extra layer, the dullness shines through. It's a horrible, nasty little story. They could have least dumped it on Our Lady of the Miseries, the unlovely Eileen. Has she gone yet? No? Oh well.
Equally, we trudge through the dramatic porridge that appears to be Robert the Robot's exit story. This one has been throbbing away like a boil for what feels like decades. There he is with a ring. Then he hasn't got a ring. He's dashing to Macclesfield. He's dashing back. When he arrives at Vicky's, he spends most of his time with his eyes closed, presumably to prevent himself projectile vomiting at her colour scheme. At this point though, let's heap some praise on Kerri Quinn who is single-handedly keeping this whole thing going. Vicky has mellowed from heinous spit bag to something more likeable, in the same way that Gemma's mother isn't. The 'wee' storyline has to be one of the worst things ever to surface on t'cobbles. No doubt old Bernie Winter (how UK viewers over the age of forty laughed . . .) will settle down. At the moment though, she's another reason to sit with the finger poised on the remote control.
There are moments to savour though. Any appearance of Maureen Lipman as Evelyn is gratefully lapped up. Likewise the tour de force that is Aggie Bailey, seemingly a good old-fashioned Corrie woman given a very believable performance by Lorna Laidlaw. It's always a brave move to foist an entire new family on to the Street. For every set of Baileys, there are the ghosts of the Clayton, Harris and Morton families. Even the Windasses shed several members (remember the odd uncle in the leather jacket?) The Baileys are doing OK so far, even if no one can work out what on earth they have done with Emily's staircase. Is that the sound of Percy Sugden we can hear, slowly turning in his grave?
By Clinkers to Riddle
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