Eileen wants to ring Nicola before she goes on holiday but Phelan wants to leave for the airport early. He has time to visit the hospital though and tries some auto-suggestion, telling a comatose Seb that Anna hates him, Anna pushed him.
The doctor, for some reason, explains Seb's condition to Anna, Tim and Fay(e) - his white blood count is on the low side. Abi has the grace to look guilty; she thinks he has HIV, not from her heroin use, but from a former girlfriend, Lacey. Abi didn't bother to tell him (!) when Lacey died in a car accident and was confirmed as being HIV positive. Seb has other things on his mind as he comes 'round from his coma: Phelan's almost literal drip of poison has worked and Seb accuses Anna of trying to kill him. Before he can act on his suspicion, the doctor, continuing her profligate disregard for protocol, allows Abi to tell him he might have contracted HIV. Seb admits to Anna that a condom split and Faye too might be at risk. But having witnessed Anna angrily threatening and pushing Abi in the hospital corridor, Faye calls the police and dobs in Anna. Later, she realises she was wrong, but by that time it's too late, the cops are there, about to cause Weatherfield Miscarriage of Justice part 3478.
Mayor-in-waiting Sally is having an election-day photo op and complains that Tim is wearing work clothes. Surely she should be having a word with Sophie who has chosen a nasty orange top, baggy dungarees and a....frilled denim jacket? Horrendous. The photo-shoot is ruined by wind and Beth and Kirk dressed as "comedy costumed candidates". Eventually though, Kirk realises that Sally is the better
The incipient arrival of Joseph has upset Sinead, thinking about the baby that never was. Beth, despite being dressed as a giant pink flower, gives Sinead wise advice - she has plenty of time for baby making. Sinead prepares a welcome home party for Joseph, which goes down as well as a Buzzer Bee in the Mayoral chambers, as Joseph runs upstairs, upset and overwhelmed. But there's a plus side:- Hope and Ruby get cupcakes!
There's no Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday or Sunday on Coronation Street; since a week is only three days long, time moves faster, which explains why Robert's hair is suddenly grey. Or maybe he went white overnight, like Leland Palmer. Michelle still wuvs him though, telling him she'll be waiting when he comes out.
Tyrone's spendthriftiness (remember Lapland?) rears its head again as he buys a second hand van to collect scrap metal. Fiz is annoyed, as she wanted to use the money they received to top up the crowd funding. They haven't actually cashed this cheque, yet, have they? It might bounce. Tyrone covers up the windfall by making up an Uncle Frank who's died, and then has to cover up the lie with more fibs about Frank's life as stuntman and deep sea diver.
I do hope there's going to be a Jonathan Harvey or Damon Rochefort penned episode soon. The clocks have gone back, it's dark and cold, we're already mired in misery, and Kirk dressed as a Mayoral bee isn't really cutting it in the comedy stakes. Drama's great, but a little levity wouldn't go amiss.
Rachel Stevenson - on twitter
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