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Monday, 30 June 2014

My Corrie wish list for the Powers That Be

It's time once again for me to blog-rant about what I'd really like to see in Coronation Street that isn't there right now and isn't likely to be seen for some time (if ever)! So here we go...

1. Give Norris Cole a storyline. Malcolm Hebden hasn't had anything significant to do in years apart from hate Dennis and buy Emily's house. Why haven't we seen more stuff about Norris the home owner at number 3? Even Mary doesn't have much to do with him these days. Malcolm Hebden is a great Corrie actor capable of so much more than he's currently being given.

2. Give Audrey Roberts a storyline. It has been far too quiet a year for our Audrey and Sue Nicholls' talents are being seriously wasted. All she does these days is tut at Kylie/David/Gail or act as a shoulder for wimpering crimper Maria to cry on. She deserves something strong and stand-alone for her to get her acting teeth into. I know Sue Nicholls has been at Corrie for many years but I still reckon they are lucky to have her.

3. PLEASE do not let Deirdre regress once Ken arrives back from Canada. Anne Kirkbride has been a delight since Kenneth disappeared off to look after Adam. Deirdre is funny again. Deirdre has a backbone again. All she needs is a storyline again and I'll be happy.

4. Moving on from this, why don't we see Deirdre and Liz together more often? They have been pals since Deirdre had a perm for pete's sake! Much more should be made of this.

5. I need Owen and Gary to build an extension to the Corrie cupboard so the entire Armstrong-Windass clan can cram into it for the foreseeable. It feels like they haven't been off our screens for about 25 years. As much as I like Anna and Gary, I need a breather from the constant angst and that horrible living room.

6. Having said that, in about a year's time I'd love Pat Phelan to return and get what he deserves for what he did to poor Anna. He really does deserve a suitably horrid send off that one. And his gob on a stick of a wife, the delightful Val.

7. I still think Corrie needs another older character. Stephanie Cole is sorely missed as Roy's mum Sylvia. Either cast Lynda Baron as a loveable old rogue or bring back Barbara Young as Doreen Fenwick and let's see Rita have some fun again.

8. Steve needs to ditch Michelle. I'll keep saying this until it actually happens. And when I mean ditch her I mean actually stick her in his cab and drive her somewhere outside the Weatherfield boundary that has loads of ditches, and then stick her in one. End of.

9. I did like Andrea but I don't now. Lloyd deserves better. They should've kept Jenna and lost Andrea instead.

10. Roy needs something to do and by that Corrie Powers That Be, I do not mean a "love interest" or some kind of rancid bedhopping activity. Before Hayley's exit storyline we learned a little more about Roy's family. Why can't we meet one or two of them? There is so much potential in Roy and it's time to explore his background.

11. Can Sophie Webster go to Devon on a permanent basis please? And can Debbie Webster take her place?

12. Before Philip Lowrie leaves (again) - is he leaving? Who knows. Anyway, before Dennis departs can we PLEASE have some decent references to his glorious mam, Elsie. So much potential there to keep us longtime viewers happy and content and most of it has been squandered for the sake of Tina's gob and Peter's endless desire to drop his kecks. Dennis needs to do some serious reminiscing about Elsie, Linda, Ena, Annie et al before he leaves us.

13. Nick Tilsley needs to stop having these excruciating episodes. Enough already. The whole storyline needs to come to an end. And while we're at it can someone give Kal a personality injection?

14. Sean needs to shift it out of Eileen's house. No progression at all for this character in over ten years. Why can't he at least move in with Julie or something once Marcus goes? Oh, and is there any chance Todd can disappear down a crack in the pavement? I loathe him and his sneaky snakey eyes.

15. Maria should stay in Cyprus.

16. KIRK AND BETH SHOULD GET MARRIED. I won't lay down subtle hints like this again.

17. Do something interesting with Mary or ditch her. I'd rather she was kept on to be honest but I've never known a character float about without roots like her for as long as she has. She dips into other lives and stories but foundations are never properly laid. We need more from her than the occasional game of chess or dotty aside to some other character weighed down by a proper storyline.

18. Invest in Eva and Jason. Eva is the only good thing to come out of the Price saga. She isn't just good, she is fanastic. And she is great with Jason. Something funny and touching for this pair please.

19. Please do not reduce Gail to cleaning toilets in the gym as well as the Bistro. Cleaning the Bistro lavs in her tabard was bad enough, but sluicing out the bogs in that laughable gym is something I wouldn't even see fit for Tracy Barlow. Give her a bit of self respect.

20. Now that Stella is a barely mentioned memory, can we please have a wee visit from Leanne's proper-not-really-me-mam - the gloriously gobby, eternally fleece-clad, Janice? The relationship between Leanne and Janice was always more grounded and believable than anything St Ella could muster.

21. Finally - and I know this isn't likely....could we please have Mavis back, if only for a couple of episodes? Thelma Barlow is one of my absolute favourites as dithering Mavis and those Kabin scenes with Rita are an endless source of joy.

Catching up with our Mave would make my year.

Tweet me @GraemeN82

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BarrieT said...

I agree with everything you say. Why cant we have you as chief storyliner. Perhaps you should apply for the job. But be careful what you wish for, as if Phelan does get his cumuppance then it will likely end with Anna murdering him in self defence and then Anna going to jail for 3 months. Meaning more windass angst.

Anonymous said...


Talia said...

Graeme, your Corrie Wishlist is identical to what I would put on mine, absolutely identical; thank you for your always articulate posts.
I can't think of one thing I would change, and was surprised to see you listed No. 11 and 15, which I have wished for a long time.
Thank you so much for speaking for so many of us.
I have nothing more to add to this and I wonder if all long-time viewers feel the same?

David Parsnips said...

Pretty much agree with all you have said. Stop all the bed hopping and inter neighbourhood sex. Stop writing pregnancies into stories if you are not going to follow up with kids, people just cannot disappear drinking in the Rovers every night when they have a family. Get rid of that bloody factory, its so ridiculous in this day and age, lets introduce Frescos back again with stories there. Develop Dierdre into a lady turning into her mother, we don’t need Ken back although unfortunately we have to. Develop the corner shop with a chair like Ena used to sit on and we can have scenes there but not with wet blanket Sophie moaning all the time. Do something with the butchers shop

Anonymous said...

Can Dennis Tanner be made less of a wet blanket? ? And leave on a high note? Shame to see a heritage character turned into such a drip doing nothing more tthan wimping around Rita. So disappointing. Now we have Nick and Leannes grim Divorce to endure-gah. Andrea seemed a happy go llucky gal, they are ruining her now. Has Sean been living at Eileen's for 10 years? Time he got a proper life --Smelloid

@NickJay6 (Manchester) said...

EXCELLENT write-up, Graeme. I agree so much with much of what you have said, although I don't have a problem with Michelle per se. She's quite a good actress but like so many, as you've rightly said, she's only as good as the material she's being given to work with!

As for the Windasses, Gary has much improved as he's being given storylines to get his acting into but Anna has become a loathesome tiresome old bag since the Pat Phelan stuff and even Owen has been reduced to some snivelling man so bringing back Phelan to get his cum-uppance might inject something more/new into her, hopefully.

I do hope that now she is better (?) that Stephanie Cole will return or, as you say, someone like her. Rita is being vastly under-used and I, too, would like to Rita have some fun again!

As for Andrea, love the actress but the storylines are weak and tiresome. I totally agree they should have kept Jenna. Miss her so much already and totally agree with you regarding Roy too. Such a great actor being totally under-used and yes, why not explore his background more? So much scope there for interesting stuff so why aren't they doing it?!

Sophie Webster yes, totally agree. Let's hope she goes but Philip Lowerie stays. Such a great actor and why there aren't more references to the old long-gone members of the street, especially Elsie Tanner, I've no idea. I agree what you say about Nick Tilsley as well but Kal and his dreaded father are a pain and should BOTH go back from wence they came IMHO!

I also think that Sean should be given a better storyline or two by now. They've just renewed his contract for another year (I'm pleased to say) but I do hope it's just not more of the same for him. I also totally agree with you on Mary. Hated her character at first but have grown to love her but yes, she needs somewhere other than her van, which we hardly ever see her living in, in which to lay down some roots.

I hope you're not getting bored with my agreeing with you so often (but it's the truth, I am!) I agree about Gail being a cleaner all the time. She used to have a good job as receptionist at the Health Centre so why has she been reduced to a toilet cleaner? She needs some self-respect, yes. At least now Les Dennis is there and I have a feeling we're going to see some great storylines between those two hopefully now. I would LOVE to see Janice come back and yes, Mavis too. Thelma Barlow was a pure delight, yes! How about Spider too? Maybe they could start giving Eileen Derbyshire some storylines to suit her experience and acting abilities too? She is HUGELY under-used too IMHO!

Anyway we will see. Well done, Graeme, once again! :)

Carry On Blogging! said...

Barrie T - I'm not sure they'd want a trouble maker like me!!

Carry On Blogging! said...

David you are right about the shop, it needs a new, older woman behind the counter, not Sophie

Pickledjo said...

I agree with a lot of that. Apart from Eva. Can't stand her and her ever lowering cleavage. She's just there for the boob factor and I don't find her a believable air head.
Not keen on Steph for a similar reason.

I'd LOVE to see Mavis back for a cameo. I can't see it happening though.

Carry On Blogging! said...

Can't believe you can't stand Eva, Jo!!

abbyk said...

Agree with most. My only add would be to get Nick proper therapy. He needs to get back to dull but stable. Leanne really did love the total package which included a home and role model for her son. It should be a tough road and take time, and include realizing what he's lost and trying to win her back. This selective brain damage has gotten old and out of control.

Windass/Armstrongs can go (Faye can stay with Tim, tho'; she's getting interesting). Soooo tired of careening from one tragedy to the next with that bunch. If Tracy left with Rob before he gets caught, I wouldn't mind that so much, either. It would give Steve more delightful Amy time.

Michael on first glance, seems to be a nice addition (although I thought the same of Andrea). Hope he turns out to be a good'un and gets Gail back on track. Then she and Sal can have some couples fun.

Beth & Kirk married, meh, but I really think Fiz & Tyrone should tie the knot. They have two kids, they've been 'together' forever, and they might need the leverage if crazy Kirstie ever shows up. Or Jason & Eva -- he's in his prime and she's a hoot. There's too much living together, not enough marriage for my taste right now.

My Culls: Have to agree about leaving Sophie & Maddie in Devon for a long visit. I like Sophie, but she is on such a bad path it's painful to watch. Mary - like Beth, I can only take her in very small doses, but she is sooooo unrooted. No job, no SO, no family, no home, she's the poster child for suspension of belief. The Nazir's - yeah, they just built that nice gym but Dad spends his day staring, Alya is a handful, and Kal has no personality. He and Leanne have less chemistry than a salt shaker. Plus their ages are all wrong. Nip them in the bud.

Adam R. said...

Wow - actually found myself agreeing with every single thing on your wish list Graeme!

ChiaGwen said...

You read my thoughts exactly Graeme - thank you! My number 1 gripe is the continuation of horrid Sophie - it is beyond all reason! Get Mary behind Dev's counter or working at the Cafe or have the Butcher's become a used book store and install Ken in there with Mary or Dennis...the possibilities are endless. Even if there is a heart-wrenching back-story to explain Todd's bitterness and vile ways, I'm afraid any sympathy I might have had has long dissipated...his return has been one huge disappointment. Hope he is in the same taxi as Sophie leaving the cobbles....

Anonymous said...

Am I the only who often wonders what Mrs. Sharple would say about the Bistro and the gymn? They both seem so out of place on Coronation Street.

Anon (from Canada)

Dilly Daydream said...

Please can we keep Dennis Tanner and get shot of Norris Cole instead? I would be eternally grateful!

Anonymous said...

There's merit in much of what you say.

However, I think Sean should leave the cobbles for good along with Beth and Kirk (not a fan of that duo at all).

Also, I'm pleased Jenna is going.

As for the oldies, it's clear that the writers have fallen out of love with the likes of Norris, Deirdre and Audrey many years ago so, good luck with your wish list.

Also, they probably wouldn't attract the demographic producers are looking for these days.

Anonymous said...

Yes! My sentiments exactly. Please give us our old street back not this current poor copy of mediocre America soap culture that it has become.

Anonymous said...

Talking about the Corner Shop does anyone else think it needs a makeover it looks such a mess! Whatabout putting Mary behind the Counter of the Corner Shop instead of Sophie, Dev gets on well with Mary and she could manage it for him, and there could be some funny rivilary scenes with Mary and the shop and Norris and the kabin !

Anonymous said...

I agree in the main with you Graham.

I understand Janice is coming back?

l love Steve and would like to see him with someone more loveable, what about Julie? Lol

Carry On Blogging! said...

Thank you to both Talia and Nick, glad we all agree!

Carry On Blogging! said...

Anonymous - I haven't heard anything about Janice making an appearance. Steve and Julie is an interesting idea!

Carry On Blogging! said...

I agree Anonymous, I'm not sure either the Bistro or the gym fit in. I guess its a nod to changing times but they're not Corrie enough for me

Anonymous said...

It seems very odd to me that they would install a gym and Bistro on this street when a Pizza place (not flaming Italian insurance money restaurant), a sports bar, or even a yoga/rumba/massage therapy place would make more sense in this locale! Given the size of the Street, there is a ridiculous number of businesses operating here as it is.

njblas said...

I don't think Janice is coming back. Maybe Anonymous is thinking of Cilla? As usual Graeme, you have hit the nail on the head, and few long term viewers will disagree with your extremely valid points. I would just amend item 14 to write out Sean along with Todd. He is washed up, although bafflingly, his contract has been renewed:( Oh well... And re Item 12, no-one seems to know what is happening with Dennis. Please let him stay on, and give him some challenging material where he and Rita examine their fractured relationship. Just having him hovering around Rita ineffectually is a waste, and downright insulting...

Glenda Young said...

Agree with every word, Graeme!

Louby said...

I also agree with them all. I love the idea above of Mary working in the shop. I can see her giving out well meant "advice" to shoppers who only want a pint of milk. I would add that I'd like to see humourous and happy relationships, especially for Gail and Michael, also Kirk and Beth (wedding please), Tim and Sally and someone new for Sean. Less of the angst please!

Anonymous said...

What is there not to agree with? All anyone wants in their TV show is quality storylines from interesting characters? Having said that YES, bring on the older, established characters who in the proper hands can squeeze out better stories! Other characters like Sawphie have been ruined from badly botched up writing and unless there's some radical 'surgery' -- just get rid.

Graeme N. as usual, your comments are tough but fair. I appreciate that you don't come across as an apologist for the show but a member of the audience as well as a fan who wants the show to be better because like the rest of us, we believe it CAN be better. We call it when the show is faltering -- whether it is due to the shooting schedules, the uncertain contracts, the costs, the competitiveness and fragmentedness of the TV/entertainment landscape -- as an audience these are not our purview and we have to judge only the final product. If this were a restaurant we were critiquing, the critic cannot be swayed by the normal factors in that business -- competitiveness, small margins, etc this is the nature of the beast --- the test of the pudding ultimately is in the eating.

Unknown said...

I agree about older characters, the street needs people who actually 'look' old!
Hightime for Gail and Deirdre to have some cosy chats over tea, just the once in 40 years, they've barely spoken to one another.

Carry On Blogging! said...

Glad we are in agreement Flaming Nora! :)

Carry On Blogging! said...

Mark - I'm not sure Gail and Deirdre are best mates, especially since the manchester tart in the face incident!


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