Carla conundrum and Barlow breakdown

Guest post from Coronation Street Blog reader Anna Kalinski who is on twitter @annakalinski

“Y’arrighht, Leanne?”

I’ll be honest. I had been waiting for this week.

At last, an end to those stultifyingly boring “Tommeh and Teenuh” scenes. Every week: “Is this the end for Tommy and Tina? How will Tina react?” ask the synopses in a pathetic attempt to elicit some degree of suspense from us. “They were finished long ago.” And, “Probaby by scolding and squawking “Er! Tommeh!”, answer I.

Every episode for the past few months, monopolised by their petty dramas.Oh dear, I wonder what terribly  unlucky  financial incident will befall them this week, I wonder? It’s edge of yer seat stuff, this. Will they bump yet another car? Will one of them get yet another part- time job? Will Tommy, say,  start the night shift in Prima Doner, only for a big dog to suddenly run in and eat all of the kebab meat whilst he and Tina’s backs are turned and are busy  having yet another row about the surrogacy?  But, oh no! Then Tommy will have to pay Dev back yet more money!  Now they’ll have to spend more time in “the flat” working out what to do whilst Tina stands with her back against the worktop biting her forefinger (I can only conclude this is supposed to represent the depths of their dilemma), whilst Tommy stands  open- mouthed and with the same sorry and confused expression as a puppy that’s had an accident on the kitchen floor.

But anyway, enough of the small fry. About the proper characters. Y’know, the ones with character.

This week, Peter and Carla’s return ran thus:  Shock entrance, Leanne and Nick confrontation, stress, self-pity, Carla drinks, tries to drive car drunk. Leanne and Carla slapsies… Sorry - what’s that,  you want me to stop, you’ve heard this one before?

I have to admit, like many of us on this Blog, we were hardly double checking our series link at the prospect of another recycled Corrie storyline. It’s not good enough, frankly. We haven’t been treated to some very good writing recently, and we’ve had a definite feeling of déjà vu.  We’ve had inconceivable plotlines, “pull names out of a hat” couplings, affairs as the only real plot device, along with ex-soapstar  long-lost random relatives arriving. If we were okay with that, we’d just watch EastEnders.

There hasn’t been much light relief either. In fact the only comedy we’ve had recently was when Tina emerged from the bathroom the same colour as the Cuprinol  man (and twice as wooden) asking “Do I look pale to you?” with Tommy, without a hint of irony, replying “yeah”.

Our  Taylor/Burton of the street  are back. I love them as a couple and despite the recycled storyline, a Carla fight is worth ten of a Michelle fight and they’re still gripping to watch.  Imagine how much better they’d be if we actually tried to do something  imaginative with the characters.

I’m a Carla fan. For me, her five years on the street have made her a Corrie legend. She’s the whole tough/vulnerable/drama magnet/glam Corrie woman we love. Or love to hate. But before you disagree - who else do we have right now? The best thing about her for me is she’s evolved into such a character. 

Nowadays, Phil Collinson thinks that by plopping a character in front of us and telling us in a press release: “this is a strong character who will rock the street” a legend is born. Y’know, the way that Rob and Ryan are currently rocking the street to its foundations, now, yeah?

We left Carla and Peter in an interesting point- as a stepfamily. I loved the fact that Corrie was doing the whole blended family issue, with a couple of unlikely candidates, as often stepparents are. Has this ever been tackled well before in a soap? If at all? It started well; I enjoyed watching them contend with the heady mix of the ex Leanne, the  Daddy’s new girlfriend role, the mummy’s rich boyfriend with them all “trying to make it work”, with varying degrees of success. I found Carla’s attempts to become domesticated quite endearing,(Carla does spagbol episodes), and cringed at her misjudged olives at Simon’s birthday do.  The fact that Carla was trying so hard, despite it being so cringeworthy, showed  a new side of her, rather than the homewrecker we always get year in, year out. 

I loved Peter’s blundering ineptitude as a dad, caught up in a mess of fluctuating feelings, alcohol and trying to balance Carla with his son, but clumsily wading through everybody’s emotions like a bog with his unwitting insensitivity. Peter too is a very complex character, played laudably well by Chris Gascoygne. After all, it is notoriously difficult to play a drunk (see Janice Battersby), let alone a self – involved pitying conflicted one and it’s his misplaced sense of optimism that we’re seeing again now  and his desire that ‘everything will fall into place, hey?’ that keeps him  a sympathetic  character. Unlike Battersby.

Leanne really is such a bitter character who thinks the world revolves around her, yesterday asking  Eva to be her bridesmaid, qualifying it with, “because Toyah can’t make it”. Charming.

For me, the tide started to turn after her behaviour with Simon and the whole idea that she was suddenly his keeper and Peter’s services were no longer required as a father and also the fact that she clearly derives grim satisfaction in telling him  what a loser he is  in front of Simon every two minutes.

Then, this sudden love for Nick again - a little too convenient for my liking, like their upcoming nuptials. It’s Nick, then Peter, then Nick, then Peter…now Nick…will she choose Peter again? All too redolent of that great one liner: “Aw! Dip-dip-dip, my blue ship!”

Whatever happens, in every scene we can rely on her constant scowling, arm-folding, sarcastic eye-rolling,  and her jeering interjections every time somebody tries to speak.  Every time Peter and Carla emerge onto the street there she is! She’s somehow there, in every other scene scuttling around  in that red coat with her screwed up face and that death-stare like something out of Don’t Look Now. (Now there’s a New Year storyline idea).

If she cares so much about Simon, surely she would at least attempt to smooth things overand be civil  - conversely as Nick is doing. I’m also not sure about Simon – he’s turned into something of a brattish 40 year - old midget with his constant pronouncements on people and life,and as for him refusing to go anywhere because he wanted so much to stay with his dad and then hours latersuddenly  announcing that “Nick is his dad now!” I’m not sure if that’s poor writing or is meant to show us the extent of Leanne’s own influence on him.“Sailing on the water, like a cup and saucer...” indeed.

So, is there anymore mileage in the Carla/Leanne/Peter meat triangle? Possibly, but give us something more than what we’ve seen this week.

No really, please…

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