Monday, 5 September 2016
Coronation Street Episode Review Monday 5th September
Nick feels that he's lost his power and is trying to get it back. He lets Steve off - for now, demanding that there be some ground rules, although we never find out what they are, except for the rather obvious one of Nick being named on the birth certificate. I've got some ground rules: The first rule of Leanne's baby is that we do not talk about who the real father is. The second rule of Leanne's baby is (you get the picture).
Michelle, with her usual senstivity, forces tea and figrolls and maternity chat on poor Leanne who is worried about what Nick is doing with (or to) Steve. If she wants to stop Nick and this palaver, surely she could just mention, y'know, that time he forced her to have an abortion? Anyway, Nick now feels back in control, so much so that he's booked them a holiday in Tenerife and is packing Leanne's bags for her. I bet he takes the wrong bikini.
Rats have an average lifespan of two years and Beth, Craig and Darryl moved into the street four years ago. Unless Craig's been giving him some special life-prelonging food, I think Darryl must have gone to the great rat-nest in the sky and Beth secretly replaced him. If so, it's not the only lie that she has told her son. The original Darryl, Craig's dad, is in the big house and Craig is therefore in Sally's front parlour. Beth rather bizarrely accuses Sally of being a flaming child-snatcher, claiming that Sally is romantically interested in her son. Fortunately, both Tim, who talks about his mistakes with Fay(e) and his happiness at being given a second chance to be her dad, and Sally, who has ulterior motives in wanting "the big lump" (and the rat) out of her house, talk Craig into softening his attitude towards his mum. Kirk also makes up with Beth once he sees how upset she is over Craig. "The last thing I want to do is to go back to Norris's," he says. Well, quite, he'd be sharing a room with Sean.
Another one accusing someone of being interested in younger suitors is Sarah of Gary, who is still keeping an eye on Bethany. Having being internet-groomed when she was younger than Bethany, Sarah's probably right to be suspicious, even if it is unfounded. Gary doesn't spill the beans, but Bethany does, telling her mum about the meeting at school with Lauren and her mother re: the bullying. Sarah steps up, insisting that she attend as well.
Caz is using the cafe's wifi (!?) to send out her CV but, as Maria says, "there's no call for trained killers". Caz sulks at Maria's joke and it take eclairs, wine and Maria getting in touch with a head-hunter on Caz's behalf to cheer up her flatmate. They both talk about what the other has done for them:- Caz has well and truly got her size sevens under Maria's table. For now.
Todd has the same problem with Billy as Sean had - how to get him away from his "demanding parishioners". Instead of whining about it as Sean did, Todd takes action and Billy out for lunch at a posh restaurant. He also takes Tracy's advice to get a room by booking a hotel, so that he can lose his "born-again virginity". Sean, meanwhile, overhears the plan and, still racked with jealousy and a Canal Street hangover, cancels the room. But Todd and Billy manage to ruin the afternoon without Sean's interference, as Billy takes umbrage at Todd's joke about Billy hiding under the bishop's petticoats and they row about the important of celibacy in a C of E relationship. Todd leaves Billy high and dry and with the bill for the hotel room, and I think it's going to take more than an eclair to put this one right.
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