Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

Value self-care above relationships.  A few months ago, David exploited Emma's naivety to work out his issues after his rape and make Shona jealous.  After that, Seb dated Emma as a distraction from his feelings about Faye.  This week, Chesney went out with Emma as a subterfuge to hide his love for Gemma.  Can we just stop using this poor girl as some kind of emotional practice doll?  Emma is an absolute treasure, and she deserves so much more than being the back of the envelope you doodle on while you wait for someone decent to turn up.  This Queen should be treated with reverence.  Bin Chesney off, Em; he's dull as coal anyway, and set your cap at someone who'll appreciate your brilliance and joy.

(Incidentally, a million points to Emma and actress Alexandra Martell for this moment when Chesney told her to hide and she held the flowers in front of her face.  Wonderful).

Heterosexual men can't come up with decent football chants.  Kev wanted to go to Weatherfield County to start up his devotional song to new signing, Xanibu.  It was the man's name chanted to the tune of "Danny Boy".  NO KEVIN.  If his name is Xanibu you should be basing it on legendary Olivia Newton-John classic, Xanadu.  IT'S ONLY TWO LETTERS OUT.  Just because it comes from am appalling-slash-amazing musical where ONJ plays a Greek muse who inspires a man to open a roller disco - and also, Gene Kelly is involved somehow - it shouldn't stop you from acknowledging it's an absolute choon.

Xanibu
Xanibu-oo-oo
It's Xanibu-oo-oo

That's miles better.

Roy's gratitude only goes so far.  When he was under the impression Jude saved his life from a bee sting, Roy offered up his eternal thanks, lauded him in the pub and handed over five grand.  When he discovered it was Ali who actually performed this selfless act, he... gave him a coffee on the house.  I know medicine is a calling, and God knows nobody works for the NHS for the big bucks, but I wouldn't have blamed Ali for saying "where's MY bloody cheque then?"

Weatherfield's housing market is even worse than Central London.  Leanne and Toyah had to move out of that mysterious flat we never saw because of damp.  Apparently the only available property in the entire borough was one in Victoria Court, which (a) they couldn't afford, so they had to get the deposit off Nicky Tilsley and (b) happened to be the exact same flat where Leanne's fiance burned to death a little over three years ago.  Was there not somewhere else available, somewhere literally anywhere else?  Leanne's recovery is going to be bad enough without her getting PTSD flashbacks of Jimi Mistry bursting into flames every time she nips to the loo.  Plus, didn't Victoria Court used to be classy and exclusive?  Between Leanne & Toyah and Gary & Sarah-Lou the whole place has gone decidedly downmarket.  I blame Michelle for lowering the tone.

Only people on the payroll are allowed to speak.  When it became clear that the Weatherfield Good Samaritan Awards were going to be onscreen, it was an inevitability that it would either be in Speed Daal or the Bistro; those are now the only two eateries in town.  I didn't realise quite how cheap they'd go, though, as the host turned out to be Geoff, and the only nominee allowed to talk was Jude.  He basically had to win to save the producers a few bob.  That poor woman who raised thousands for a fish tank was entirely silent.

All those supporting artists and not one of them is allowed to say a word; it brought back happy memories of Acorn Antiques and those two extras who appeared in the first shot of every show then left without saying anything.  A few years ago the show would've gone to a real hotel or hall for a bit of outside filming, just as Brian's holiday club would've been on location at a school and kids would've played at the Red Rec rather than in the community garden.  It's ironic that by building an extended set, the world of Weatherfield has actually got smaller.

The actual best part of this week's episodes for @merseytart was the glimpse of Emily's usually unseen front parlour.  Admittedly Mary bleeding all over her awful carpet sort of ruined it.

---

---

All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License