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Friday, 2 November 2012

Characters I'd cull - Brian Park, eat your heart out

Before I begin, I should make clear that my comments are directed at the characters, not the actors, who I am sure are lovely people, however much their television personas irritate this particular Coronation Street viewer.

In no particular order, here are the present characters I would despatch, the reasons why and how I would arrange for their departures:

Tina McIntyre - In days gone by, younger characters would be portrayed as fun-loving, carefree and up for a good time. Think Trisha Hopkins, Suzie Birchall and Gail Potter (albeit briefly). Unfortunately the writers took Tina from Suzie to present day Gail almost overnight. In four years she has lost a deranged father to Lake Windermere, accused Gail of murder, forgotten more boyfriends than she ever knew and is now contemplating life as a surrogate mum. And why does she never mention her own mother, come to that? Exit: Rita pays for her to go to Switzerland so experts can remove the many layers of Caramac she has smeared on her face over the years. She never returns.

Tommy Duckworth - I hesitated over this one, but any man who can walk about in public wearing a t-shirt with "Male Model" on it should really be on the first Wayfarer out of Weatherfield. Exit: Dad Terry "two chairs" Duckworth returns (briefly), selling Tommy back to  grandma Doreen in Blackpool. With no Des Barnes around to attempt a rescue, Tommy is soon forgotten.

Dev Alahan - Next up is a character well past his sell-by date. Originally conceived as a 21st Century Mike Baldwin, the only similarity I can see is they have both shared a bed with Deirdre Barlow. A dubious claim to fame. Dev always appears to be in rehearsal for pantomime which is a great shame as the Rovers Select disappeared in 1986. His highlight was Mad Maya's reign of terror, but that was mostly down to Maya and not him. By the way, whatever happened to the 76 other children he was alleged to have spawned? Exit: Mad Maya should return and finish the job she started 8 years ago.

Stella Price - Stella has never worked for me, no matter how many storylines she is shoe-horned into. I won't mention the accent (oops, just did) - her ultimate low was involving herself in packing up Betty's belongings having never met the woman. I understand why she was written into those scenes, even though the story was ill-thought through and factually inaccurate. Her continued presence makes me uncomfortable and I don't see that changing. Exit: Disappears into the back room of the Rovers, never to be seen again.

My final choice was a tough call between Tracy-luv Barlow and Michelle two sons Connor.   
Michelle should have been ditched after the dreadful baby-mix-up storyline which appeared to last for 17 years. However, if I had to choose it would be Tracy. A character with no redeeming qualities, on a merry-go-round of never-ending evil storylines, she never gets what's coming to her. And I hate what her character has done to Deirdre. Exit: Could the lovely Charlie Stubbs come back from the dead and exact suitable revenge? 

I feel much better for getting that out of my system! 

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Anonymous said...

Graeme you have read my mind! I agree completely with your list and will be keeping my fingers crossed. I know its contraversial but I would probably add Sylvia to the list as shes never really floated my boat. Is that a step too far?- Micky

Carry On Blogging! said...

I'm glad I'm not alone! I don't mind Sylvia so much to be honest, she doesn't work as a Blanche replacement, however I think she works well with Roy and I like the way their relationship has development. And Stephanie Cole is a great actress.

Annie said...

Nooooo... I love Sylvia!! There's a lot more mileage in her relationship with Roy I think....

I'd axe Michele above all others. COMPLETELY pointless with the personality of a J-Cloth.

Anonymous said...

You sure can tell Tina is Joe McIntyre's daughter..dumber than a stump..the whole $$ issue could be resolved by her taking Rita up on her offer but no...let's be a complete moron and have a kid for someone else. It really is hilarious but sadly, it's not meant to be.3 lemoute

bbhilda said...

I agree with all these too, well not Sylvia but the rest. We know Sunita is going, so would like to add Karl. I think he is a nasty pointless character and hope he is dispatched with her, along with those irritating children.

As much as Sue Johnston is a great actress, I am not getting a lot out of Gloria yet either. She is underhanded and two dimensional, oh why not be rid of the lot and say farewell to Eva too. Her assets are only what almost fit inside a bra.

Anonymous said...

Dev is a Corrie legend, they've just lost their way with him. Like Steve McDonald, he overacts when given nothing to do but rises to the occasion when he's required to. Once Sunita goes they'll hopefully find a new direction for him. I hope he keeps the kids as his relationship with them, particularly the little lad, is great.

Tommy and Tina just need to cheer up. They're good actors who have been saddled with depressing and repetitive storylines.

Tracy is comedy gold as the resident psycho. She's one of the funniest characters on the Street and the people who have the biggest problem with her seem to have missed that she is played entirely for laughs.

Stella is a non-event but the potential is there. They just need to give Michelle Collins - a decent actress - a proper character to play instead of the bland, nondescript woman she's written as now.

If anyone needs axing it's the weaker actors who bring the cast down. I'd get rid of Sean, Fiz, Chesney, Mary, Kirk and Brian who are all either OTT panto turns or blocks of wood. The best actors in the cast can move effortlessly from comedy to serious drama but the ones listed struggle with either.

Paul Raymond said...

Katie a pretty girl but terrible actress, Maria (ditto), Chesney (pointless – no longer the cute kid but a odd looking teenager), Karl – sorry John Michie is a great actor but what do they do with him now? Gloria – appalling character just invented to give Stella more air time, Michelle – should never have been brought back after she left with Kieran, Paul the Fireman just because I cant stand him!

Carry On Blogging! said...

I'm pleased to see this has got people talking! :) I now deeply regret not including Sean in my list...

Anonymous said...

I don't think Samia Ghadie is a terrible actress. She's always completely believable as Maria. The Street needs some everyday characters like her in the mix.

Dubcek said...

Let's not forget Kevin he's not adding anything and his beard makes him look like a homeless person, all he needs is a trolley filled with his belongings and his son on top of it all to complete the look.
They've turned him into a bitter violent caricature of what he was and his constant sniffing after Sally is tired and pathetic.
The sooner he goes the better.

ChiaGwen said...

Great post Graeme but I have to disagree about Tommy. Poor lad is given either too feminine looking weird tops or ones no sensible person would wear and daft stories - I think he has some decent acting deep down inside - just give him a story that will bring it out and he's great with Tyrone. RyAAAAN and his daft mother Michelle should catch the next taxi out of Weatherfield - the switched son is too old looking and can't act, and oh, there would probably be room for Sophie in that taxi as well!

Carry On Blogging! said...

Oh I agree about Ryan and his mother, without a doubt! Tommy's puppy dog look doesn't do it for me I'm afraid...

Anonymous said...

From my perspective its not necessarily the characters but some of the awful plot driven stories which should be culled to make way for proper character driven writing.

Hate what they have done with Eileen, Sunita, Tina, Tommy and silly storylines such as the current Sophe 'more lives than a cat's' has another near fatal accident leaving the way for Kevin to shout a lot.

And be very happy to Lose the new Ryan...

abbyk said...

Tina: If all she were about was a string of dreary relationships, then yeah. But, usually, she's good behind the bar and I love her with Rita, Gail, even with David. I wish Izzy would just change her mind about trying and Tommy would get a job so the surrogacy story would go away.

I am all in favor of getting rid of anyone who is so over the top they don't resemble a normal person you'd meet everyday, and that would include, IMHO, Tracy, Mary, Dev and maybe Sean (I do know people like him, although they live in bigger cities). And Karl, who was totally destroyed by a pointless affair before he really established himself. Steve, who is getting stupider by the week, is saved only by the wise move of rehiring Eileen.

Janice said...

Kirsty would top the list for me. Talk about predictable! The way the character is written it is impossible for her to interact with anyone else, so why keep her? This may be sacrilege but I find Ken well past stale. He and hs liaisons are so old hat and so boring.

Humpty Dumpty said...

Great blog, Graeme, and it's certainly got the ball rolling! It's almost a case of who we *would* keep. Agree with your list and those mentioned by other posters. Tina and Tommy, aged about 21, both written as 40 year olds and now very boring. Anonymous who said Tracy is played for laughs. Sadly, I think that's true because of poor acting skills. It might work in a sitcom but not a soap - so put Tracy at the head of the queue. There are very few people I would miss but that's another blog!

Carry On Blogging! said...

Oh I don't mind Ken at all - he's a major link with the past. Just wish they would give Dennis the same amount of screen time.

Anonymous said...

Agree with everything said, especially about Tracy she should never have been brought back!!

The writers are ruining characters, such as Tina and Tommy, with these ridiculous storylines


Anonymous said...

I would axe -

Dev Alahan
Tracy Barlow
Amy Barlow
Sean Tully
Karl Munro
Nick Tilsey
Stella Price
Rob from the factory
Maria Connor
and sorry but I think its time for Gail to bid farewell as well !

Anonymous said...

My Cull List: Tina, Michelle, Tracy, Ryan, Rob, Karl (such an unfortunate role for actor John Michie), Stella, Eva, Gloria, Nick, Carla, Dev, Owen, Anna, Faye, .

My Meh List: Sophie, Sean, Kylie, David, Gail, Tommy, Kirsty, Wendy, Paul, Katie, Mary, .

My Please Give Them Some Decent Plots List: Rita and Dennis, Lloyd, Kirk and Beth, Kevin with or without Sally, Julie and Brian, Izzy and Gary, Tyronne, Fiz, Chesney, Emily, Roy and Hayley, Lewis and Audrey, Dierdre and Ken, Eileen, Steve, and, if you have to have the young children make plots more worthwile rather than having them as props.

Anonymous said...

Sean would be top of my list. Having an effeminate, "one of the girls" gay character is really dated. Marcus is far more interesting.

Dev should leave with Sunita. An Asian running the Corner Shop is such a cliche and the writers clearly have had no idea what to do with the Alahans for years.

Brian would be lucky to be accepted for teacher training, let alone get to be a Headteacher. He's an insult to every school and teacher in this country.

Tracy. Having literally got away with murder, she is the Street's very own Bobby Ewing emerging from the shower. She is a constant reminder that these days, no plot is too ridiculous.

I would axe a whole lot more too, but the above are the ones that I think are toxic and really harm the programme.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with your choices! However, I would like to see them exit in different ways.

For Dev, I'd like to see him sat at the counter of his shop, suddenly surrounded by all of his sprogs led by Amber, and dispatched a la Children of the Corn, hand in the blender before buried under the cobbles out front. Sunita and Karl will be successfully prosecuted for conspiracy to murder, even though they were not involved.

I think you're on the right track with Stella but let me offer a more extended departure. She should certainly head through the back, grabbing her packed bags before marching out the door and jumping on the back of Steve's stolen motorcycle; driving off into the sunset with Slug - a man in dire need of a shoulder to cry on and a wallet to empty.

Tracy should try for a job at a nearby fertility clinic, to help support her endless false pregnancy storylines. When she finally decides to steal fertilized eggs to keep in her freezer until she needs them, she sneaks out the back door of the clinic to be cut down in the alley by a hail of bullets thanks to our own Gary Windass! Don't mess with his chances at fatherhood!

Desperate to pay down his debt and unable to find suitable employment, Tommy will suddenly realize his greatest value lies in getting his kit off in front of screaming, lust-crazed punters while dancing the night away under the spotlights. Despite Tina's protestations, Tommy makes a great name for himself in nearby clubs and is offered a high-paying gig in London; which he promptly accepts, leaving the Street under cover of darkness (but not much else). Sean follows Tommy, acting as his manager and roommate, pining for his tot and exploiting his position of pseudo-stardom with the lads.

Tina needs to have an accident. One that can't be cured by the amazing Weatherfield General. Unemployed, having rescinded on her surrogacy deal with Owen and broken Izzy and Gary's hearts, Tina will receive a mysterious call from an "old friend" of her father's. In addition to offering her a job as a live-in nanny, satisfying her needs for accomodation, contact with children and money, Tina learns that the job may lead her to reconnect with Tommy. She quickly packs her belongings, leaves a note of thanks for Rita, and jumps into a waiting car... driven by a shady character. As the dark tinted window slowly closes, Tina has her very last look at the cobbles and disappears into the night. No one is able to find or contact her again.

Philip said...

It's very interesting that there has been a new article that was just recently posted by the Sun saying that there is a hit list of about ten characters including Izzy, Marcus, Karl, Mandy, who are headed for the chop (even though they are part of big storylines). I don't know how much weight this has. I won't believe it until it happens though.

I myself don't really click on any "Who would you ask" threads on forums such as Digital Spy as I find that alot of them are one sided and that they are just saying it because they hate the character. Some characters that others hate are loved by other people. I disagree with some of the people mentioned on other's lists. (for example I like Fiz) Sure there are daft storylines and actors but I think the show needs a bit of everything to make it work and no one likes all the same characters. Remember we are just a little part of all the Corrie viewing public.

One thing about Sean I've always wondered is: Why is an effeminate gay character so outdated. I've seen this reasoning on Digital Spy and elsewhere. I've got a couple of effeminate gay friends and I don't tell them that they are outdated, that's just the way they are and I love them. Can we not have different types of gays on the same show. I am not saying that Antony Cotton is Shakespeare, but would you have preferred if Sean was played by a different effeminate gay actor?

Anonymous said...

I think it bears repeating for about the upteenth time that this blog is for sharing opinions, not representing the entirety of Corrie's fanbase. That's what folk are doing; period.

As far as Sean goes, people don't complain about him because he's effeminate. It's because he's OTT, selfish, childish and annoying. I would imagine many from the gay community would rather see a more relatistic effeminate gay man on the Street rather than Sean, who has become dislikable and not in the villian sort of way.

Anonymous said...

And get shot of Mandy. Lloyd can do better.

Carry On Blogging! said...

Oh I like Mandy, I think she has a lot of potential :)

Carry On Blogging! said...

And from the above comments, I would hate it if they axed Gail, Nick or Anna - like them all, for different reasons :)

Tvor said...

I've never seen the point of Michelle and every story they've given her always seems to have her screeching and sobbing and depressed. Never thought she and Steve were suited and they're no better this time than last time. He's rebounding from Becky and that horrible debacle with Tracy.

Ryan is awful too. Another good looking young man cast for a part and he can't act and can't speak properly.

I would have said to get rid of Mary had this come up a few months ago but they've taken her back to the way she was at the beginning. Quirky rather than nasty though she's still got that as well but she's been quite funny during the restaurant storyline and having her in the middle of Gail and Kylie with Nick trying to keep them all apart will probably be quite funny. Don't know how the Bistro manages to keep customers coming back though.

Carry On Blogging! said...

Yes I agree - I remember quite liking Michelle when she first arrived, mainly because she got on Liz's nerves! I honestly can't believe she has stayed so long :(

Anonymous said...

There are too many characters for anyone of them to have storylines seen through properly nowadays. Get rid of dev, Karl, Michelle, Ryan, Sean, Brian, Stella, Sylvia but don't mind Paul- theres something about him that does it for me!

Oh...and bring back Angie Freeman!


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