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Tuesday 17 July 2012

Coronation Street Weekly Update, July 16 2012

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Greetings and welcome to the Coronation Street Weekly Update.  Find out more about the Coronation Street Weekly Updates and why they've been written for th'internet since 1995 at 

And so without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.

The big story this week has been Peter abducting little Simon and running away with him to a seedy B&B.  “I’m bored!” cries Simon while Peter formulates a plan to sail his son away to Lanzarote on a big ship with Carla before sailing out on the Atlantic. Yup, that’ll work.  He rings Carla who packs her bags and leaves Underworld in Rob and Michelle’s uncapable hands, and goes to meet Peter in the train station. But Michelle tells Leanne what’s going on and Peter gets more than he expects while he’s waiting for his train. There’s tears, there’s shouting, there’s Leanne and Peter forcing little Simon to choo-choo-choose which one of them he wants to live with while the guard blows his whistle and the train has to leave. Simon choo-choo-chooses to stay with Leanne as Carla sails away with HMS Barlow for a few months. Don’t worry, they’ll be back. 

Meanwhile, Kirsty loses her temper one more time with timid Tyrone. Any shred of sympathy I might have had for Kirsty has now gone, because, ladies and gentlemen, she dissed the Duckworth. Yes, she picked up a framed photograph of Tyrone and Jack from the sideboard and smashed it into pieces. There can be no going back after you’ve dissed the Jack, no matter how sorry you say you might be.  Their screaming arguments are so loud this time that Eileen and Sean hear them through the wall next door. Tommy’s suspicious about what’s going on behind closed doors but Tyrone says nowt, protecting Kirsty as much as he can and blaming pregnancy hormones for her outburst this time.

Up in Maria’s flat, Marcus cooks Kirk a meal to apologise for walking in on him while he was in the  shower. “What’s your favourite meal?” Marcus asks him. “Spaghetti hoops!” replies Kirk. And so, spaghetti hoops it is, along with a pie Marcus bakes followed by Kirk’s favourite dessert of sherry trifle.  It’s only later that Kirk reckons Marcus is after him and has to put him straight, as it were. “I like women! I can’t stop thinking about women!”  “It wasn’t a date,” Marcus reassures him to which Kirk replies: “It wasn’t? But we had napkins!”

Maria’s fitted up this week with Jason after Tommy and Tina reckon the two of them need to get together. Both air-heads, both dumb, you can see how it would work, but when Jason makes a move and snuggles up on the sofa, Maria gives him short shrift and shoves him out. The stumble at Liam’s baby gate as Jason tries to leave the flat was a wonderful touch.

There’s bullying at Bessie Street School when one of the big lads picks on the head teacher. Yup, it’s Owen who’s out to get Brian who fails completely in his duty to protect little Faye from the school bully, when Brian finds out that she’s the granddaughter of one of the School Board of Governors.  Come on, Brian! You’re a man, not a mouse. I think. Anyway, he does the right thing in the end, the bully’s suspended, granny’s distraught and little Faye gets a buffet tea from Anna to cheer her right up.

Over at Underworld, Rob’s taken charge and tells a buyer that he’s the new manager. The buyer, a woman of a certain age, has her head turned by Rob’s charm but then walks out when he insults her with an offer for her knickers that she has to turn down.  She comes back and Rob smoothes out the gusset problem as she places a big order for knickers and that. 

And finally this week, Mary shows her true colours by lusting after Roy, who is, let’s never forget, the fab Hayley’s husband.  It’s no small wonder that Mary has no friends.  Once she was funny, scatty, but now she’s just desperate, sad. She cries over Roy’s choice of music, classical Elgar. She cries over losing her father. Couldn’t Corrie have chucked in a hot flush just for good measure too? Roy hands her a tea towel for her to dry her tears, she blows her nose on it and hands him it back.  Over their game of chess in the cafe while Hayley’s out dancing, Mary talks of how she could have worn a low cut blouse to distract Roy’s attention and then giggles when she dribbles piccalilli on his bishop. But if Mary lays one finger on Roy, just one, I’ll smash her face in. Oi! Mary! No! 

And that’s just about that for this week.  
This week's writers were  Debbie Oates, Mark Wadlow, Jayne Hollinson, Carmel Morgan and Chris Fewtrell. Find out more about the Coronation Street writing team at:

Glenda Young
Blogging away merrily at


Anonymous said...

I never liked Kirsty and now I really really really don't like her!!! I don't care what kind of back story they come up with to "explain" her violence. Hey, that was your childhood; you're an adult now; get over it.

~JB in Canada

Danny-K said...

Any alien landing on earth and trying to watch Corrie for the first time ever, and tuning in to Scary Mary and Roy of the Rolls double-hander scenes last night, might be forgiven for thinking they'd instead tuned in to a Sunday night, BBC Jayne Eyre production or something, with Mary's long really,really-long-winded diction (and Roy's too) similar too:

Why Mr Rochester of Roy's Rolls, upon my soul are those soaking wet, dripping breeches I see before me, as if risen from an early morning dip in a lake, as you purposefully bend behind the cooker to distract me from the game? Is it the vapours you seek to induce within me?

For I do declare, most indubitably I shall be forced to respond in kind by clothing myself in a most revealing low-cut bodice to distract you from the game in hand, and in the process secure my win, no less!

- Or something like that :) :)

Hee hee, Elgar and Mary's mother snoring was descriptive parlour humour of the highest order!

But still spoken in round-the-houses-and-back-again Jane Eyreish diction.

Danny-K said...

1,2,3-Click! And Kirk's back with:

“It wasn’t a date,” Marcus reassures him to which Kirk replies

- “It wasn’t? But we had napkins!”

- LOL! And that ladies and gentlemen is what we call pure Corrie gold!!!!

Humpty Dumpty said...

At some point, Hayley is going to put her foot down even if it means giving up her dancing. This will tip Mary over the edge and the eccentric will become completely doolally. Could be funny, could be disturbing, hopefully both.

Kirsty is a complex character and should be fascinating to watch. Something doesn't quite work and I think it's the lack of any chemistry between Tyrone and Kirsty.

I'm really going to miss Peter and his run-ins with Leanne. They're a class act, both actors are terrific.

ChiaGwen said...

Could there be a 'Misery' storyline in the future for Mary and Roy if she can't have her wicked way with him....

Danny-K said...

This isn't fair Roy! I WON THE COCK-A-DOODIE CHESS GAME!!!

I am your number one fan Roy. There is nothing to worry about. You are going to be just fine. I am your number one fan.

Anonymous said...

Finally, Kirk is back!

Anonymous said...

Both Mary and Kirsty are scarey - it's no wonder they are part of storylines right now, they are balancing the teeter-totter of scary on the Street.


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