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There's some new, brilliant pictures showing Hayley chasing a steam train on a railway pump trolley - powered by Becky and Fiz! Have a look here.
There's loads more pictures from the wedding here.
Written by Mark Wadlow and directed by Duncan Foster
Graeme wakes up in the morning to a very UNfamiliar setting: in bed with Tina, after a little late-night rumpy-pumpy. I’m sure he’s fully expecting Tina to wake up with a look of horror on her face, but that’s not what he gets. Despite what he thinks, Tina slept with him because she likes him. Graeme tries to tell Tina that the two of them together would be impossible and that it’s doomed, but she doesn’t care about anything but herself as usual. Tina and Graeme agree: she tells Jason, while he tells David. Somehow, I feel like Graeme got the short end of the stick. Graeme might be scared to tell David, but that doesn’t stop him from thanking god and picking Norris up in a bear hug after he leaves Tina.
Ashley notices that Graeme’s in a good mood at work and figures he must be on drugs, to which Graeme assures him he’s not. David comes in and notices Graeme’s chipper mood as well and asks if he got lucky at the speed dating. Both Ashley and David think that Graeme got lucky, since he never came home. Graeme gets really tense when his mates hassle him and tells David to get out if he’s not buying anything. When David leaves, Graeme tells Ashley about who he spend the night with. Ashley thinks this is all very entertaining, as do I. Graeme leaves the butchers immediately, as he’s got an idea. Uh oh.
At Gail’s, Graeme is waiting behind the stairs with a blanket and as David walks near, he throws the blanket over David’s head and screams. Why he screams, I have no idea. Who knew that chenille could be so threatening. Graeme handcuffs David to the radiator and takes the blanket off his head. Maybe this is what Jack P. Shepherd’s girlfriend should have done? David wants to know what’s going on and Graeme says that he needed him to be restrained when he tells him who he’s seeing. When Graeme tells him that he’s been seeing Tina, David goes crazy-face and Graeme screams like a school girl! Graeme wants David to accept them, and move on. David is frothing at the mouth however. Prisoner David calms down and tries to crack a deal with his captor: dump her, and free me, and there’ll be no more said about it. David says that Tina has destroyed them just like she destroys everything she comes into contact with. Graeme just gets up and leaves David chained to the radiator.
He arrives at Tina’s flat and asks if she spoke to Jason. Tina tells him that Jason wasn’t in, so she was going to go back around later. Graeme tells her about David, but makes it sound a lot rosier than it is. Meanwhile, you could hear the dragging of a radiator against cobbles outside the flat like some kind of horror movie. David finds a rock and throws it up at the flat window breaking the window pane. They look outside to see David with the radiator chained to his arm screaming “traitor! whore!” at them from the street. They come outside and David tries his best (it’s pathetic) to throw the radiator at them but only ends up crushing himself. Jason comes out of the corner shop with a load of cans and asks why David’s handcuffed to a radiator. David, of course, tells Jason why. Jason can hardly believe it, and as Tina stammers that she tried to tell him, but Jason’s mad. Jason is hack-sawing David’s cuffs off, and David thinks that they’d been having their affair for a long time and in Jason’s bed. Jason wants to beat the crap out of Graeme but David’s got a better idea.
Trouble in paradise for Graeme and Tina as Jason accuses her of making a fool of him then says that it’s time he looked out for number one. They get to the flat and realize that Jason changed the locks on it. She freaks out that Jason can’t just evict her. Erm, he couldn’t if you were a tenant paying RENT, which you aren’t. Try squatter’s rights instead, honey. Graeme doubts that “radiator boy” will welcome him back with open arms either. What will this new, newly homeless couple do now?
John tells Fiz not to be so worried after seeing the look on her face in the morning. When HASN’T she had that worried face on every since she met this idiot? Fiz isn’t happy with either of the men in her life at the moment. She’s still not positive about Chesney quitting school in favour or working at the market. Rightfully so, heaven forbid his life turn out as disastrous as her is at this very moment. Chesney tries to tell Fiz about the good parts of his job, but can feel that she thinks he’s throwing his life away. Fiz figures that if Chesney’s making more money than her, it’s only fair that he start paying rent. Oh, the old rent threat, that got me out of the house at 18! Chesney agrees to pay the bills, but he thinks that Fiz is only doing it to get back at him. Fiz says she wants a hundred quid a week and Chesney thinks that’s a lot. Fiz also tells Chesney that he can do all his own shopping, ironing and cleaning. Welcome to the real world. It sucks, don’t it?
Looks like Speed Dating Night really paid off for the Rovers bottom-line, as Liz wants Ciaran to organize some more theme nights to bring in the same kind of business. Ciaran tells this to Michelle who couldn’t give two, since she’s mad at him for kissing some woman at the event night. She calls his events tacky and that all they consist of is him, slappers and booze to which he says “bring it on!” Ciaran can’t let Michelle’s moody little attitude towards him alone, so he tells her he was only trying to inject a little fun into things. Michelle doesn’t know the meaning of fun, someone should have sent him the memo. Michelle confronts him about having his tongue down some lass’s throat and he finally figures she’s jealous. Ciaran says he’d change his shameful ways in a second if she’d go on a date with him (no, he wouldn’t), but she won’t. Wow, doesn’t his charm work wonders? Wouldn’t have worked on me. Maybe.
Lewis stops by the bookies, saying he’s not usually a betting man (b*tch, please) and that he’d be lured in. Deirdre asks after Audrey and Lewis notes the hostility in her voice. Deirdre points out the fact that Audrey isn’t too happy with the Barlows after what Tracy did. Oh, Lewis something tells me Lewis isn’t a man who takes sides. Deirdre pours her heart out to Lewis about Tracy, similar to how Audrey did about Gail early in their “relationship.” Lewis tells Deirdre that he’s an exceptionally good listener. Sheesh, no wonder Lewis gets paid for this, who would want to listen to Deirdre (or even Audrey for that matter) just witter on about their same old problems? Isn’t this what girlfriends are for? Or, empty bottles?
Speaking of empty bottles, Deirdre bumps into Lewis in the Rovers later as they’re both waiting for their significant others to show up. Deirdre offers to buy Lewis a drink after drowning him in her life story earlier that day. Deirdre is still curious as to what Lewis’s last job was that required him to be a good listener. Ken shows up after he left the library because a compulsive cougher stopped him from concentrating. Yeah, that compulsive cougher? That was me, I just wanted your chair. Audrey shows up with her stiff upper lip in tow, and Lewis tries to play peacemaker. Ken offers to invite Audrey and Lewis around for dinner to clear the air. Is he hoping that Deirdre’s cheese straws will do the trick? I dunno, he better get Eddie to bake a cake instead. Audrey and Ken both leave the Rovers, as they have more interesting things to do, and Lewis and Deirdre stay behind: how convenient. Deirdre grills Lewis for what he used to do for a living. He tells her he was a male escort, and that’s how he and Audrey met. Deirdre can hardly believe it, but then remembers the little show they had put on in the Rovers a while back. Deirdre says it’s a pity that he threw in the towel, since it’s her birthday soon and she could have booked him. Audrey wants to know all about his male escorting career.
HIGHLIGHTS
- Chesney telling John, “You’re Fired!” a la Donald Trump when he tries to support Ches’ market selling. If only it were that easy.
- Ciaran to Michelle: “Liz wants me to come up with some more ideas for theme nights.” Michelle: “’Cept they’ll all be based around the same theme of you, slappers and booze.” Ciaran: “Bring it on!” Haha. What’s Michelle so angry about, she’ll fit right in on those theme nights!
- Graeme picking Norris up in a bear hug in joy after he leaves Tina’s.
- Ashley’s maniacal laugh when Graeme tells him who he spent the night with. Ha-ha…ha-ha…hahahahaha.
- Graeme’s school-girl scream after he tells David that he’s been with Tina and David goes crazy!
- David for telling it like it is about Tina: “She destroyed us, like she destroys everything she comes into contact with.” It almost does seem like she’s only trying to make David mad sometimes. Look who she chooses: Jason (his ex-brother-in-law), Nick (his brother), and now Graeme (his best friend). Are she and Gail going to enter into a lesbian relationship next?
- I laughed so hard at how David couldn’t lift the radiator and almost crushed himself with it. Haha.
LOWLIGHTS
- Tina not really caring about Graeme’s concerns for his personal safety once David and Jason get wind of it. Remember this, Graeme. She probably hogs the blanket too.
- I know that Graeme never gets girls and all, but he really shouldn’t have gone after his best friend’s ex-girl. Isn’t that in a guy-code somewhere? I know it’s girl-code. If Graeme’d only left the night before as a “one off” everyone would have been the better for it. I don’t feel SORRY for David, in any way, but still, Graeme should have stayed away from it.
- Tina freaking out that Jason can’t just evict her. Erm, he couldn’t if you were a tenant paying RENT, which you aren’t. Try squatter’s rights instead, honey.
- That caddish, caddish Lewis! I really hope Audrey isn’t falling for his charm anymore!
Apologies for the combined reviews, but it’s holiday season on the weekends now that summer’s here!
Written by Jonathan Harvey (Thu) and Joe Turner (Sun), directed by Duncan Foster
Fiz tries to meet with John to discuss Chesney and his marketplace antics, but John has bigger fish to fry, er, Fishwick. That fish, Charlotte, arrives on Coronation Street, somewhat overly dressed, looking for him. Charlotte has a nasty run-in with Rosie Webster and names such as “weirdo,” and “Dozy Plebster.” Rosie sees that Charlotte is on the street to meet John and figures the two of them were made for each other. Charlotte tells John that she’s got news for him, and that they should discuss it in the Rovers. Charlotte says they need to discuss their mutual friend, and John actually asks “which one?” Why Ned, down at the bus station, that’s who! Idiot. Charlotte tells John that Colin Fishwick is coming home from sunny Canada. Meanwhile, Fiz is waiting for John in the cafe to discuss Chesney’s errant behaviour. She’s not at a loss, for Roy has lent her The Peloponnesian War to read – much to her delight - while she’s waiting for John as he’s held up at “work.” I believe that somehow John has found him in Lewis’s line of work, and not by choice. While Fiz is pretending to be interested in Ancient Greece, John is pretending to be interested in Ancient Grease in the Rovers, and neither of them are doing too well!
At the Rovers, John demands to know what Colin has told her. Turns out he hasn’t told her anything, and she’s only just gone and stalked Colin’s Facebook page and seen that his status was “missing his friends and finding Canada quite austere.” Now that sounds more like the Canada I know and love. Course she’s told him this AFTER she’s downed a couple of glasses of red. It’s clear that Charlotte’s taking advantage of her situation. Back at the cafe, Fiz tells Roy about her problems with Chesney. The Rosie “Diva’ Webster comes in and asks for a black coffee – since she’s not doing dairy today. Rosie tells Fiz all about John and Charlotte “Church” (since she gets busy on a Sunday) going into the Rovers earlier. Fiz confronts John and Charlotte in the Rovers and Charlotte tells her that it was so good to see “Johnny Boy” the other day so she thought she’d get her claws into him again. Fiz clearly isn’t happy seeing “odd” Charlotte with her Johnny Boy. She gets even more upset when she finds that Charlotte knows all about her husband’s “alter-ego.” Fiz is right mad and yells at Charlotte Church to keep quiet and yells at John for being so stupid. Fiz leaves the pub and leaves Juan right where Charlotte wants him – all to herself.
Jason’s back to being his usual unexciting self, and Tina’s looking like she’s sliding back into her old life. Tina seems a lot more interested in Graeme than she does with Jason, and why are we not surprised? I’d personally take a Graeme over a Jason any day! Tina goes over to the butchers
to flirt with talk about girly films with Graeme. Later, Rita wants to know what’s wrong with Tina, since she’s clearly upset about something. Rita figures that this kind of upset has something to do with a relationship issue. Not problem, issue. Tina sobs in Rita’s arms telling her that she’s not sure if she loves Jason. Especially since Jason reminds her of so much to do with her Dad. I don’t see it. Tina goes home and does what anyone would do in her situation – sit in the dark with a look on her face until Jason comes home. When he arrives home, she dumps him – yet again. Awe, poor Jason, he’s really been having bad luck lately.
Looks like Nick’s little under-operation is going well now that he’s got the premises. It looks like he isn’t going to be a boss like Carla, since he seems quite appreciative and even accommodating (Julie’s headphones), much to everyone’s (especially Hayley’s) surprise. Let’s see how long this lasts.
Peter tries his best to apologize to Leanne for the way he’s been acting, and his best isn’t good enough. At least not yet. Peter tells his dad about how he wants to shut down Nick’s little operation in Turner’s Joinery and Ken tells him to tread carefully. Ken also warns Peter not to mess things up with Leanne.
Lloyd’s been avoiding Cheryl, that’s CHeryl, not Sh-eryl, as she pointed out to Steve who could give a monkey’s. Cheryl looks for Lloyd in the Rovers but only gets hit on by Ciaran, then leaves. What could she want from Lloyd now? Later, Cheryl has drinks with Leanne at the bookie flat and Leanne suspects that Cheryl has a thing for our Lloyd. The girls move onto the Rovers, where Peter apologizes to Leanne again only this time she accepts.
At the Rovers, Ciaran’s still chatting up Mammy Connor on the phone, much to Michelle’s annoyance. Ciaran says that Mammy’s got a sexy voice, and Michelle says he repulses her and they both walk away with a smirk.
At home, on Sunday, Fiz tells John that he needs to quit his job now so that she never has to hear the works “Colin” and “Fishwick” again! Me and all! Charlotte comes to see Fiz at her house. Charlotte tells Fiz that if John needs help with his secret identity, she can help. I bet Fiz doesn’t hear that every day. Charlotte leaves when John arrives telling Fiz not to be so worried since everything’ll be fine. Fiz is just shaking her head and I’m hoping she’s thinking “why did I marry this idiot?” But she’s probably not. Fiz tells John that Charlotte is totally insane and their lives are in the hands of a lunatic. Fiz begs John yet again to go back to being John Stape, but we all know that John does whatever John does. He uses the fact that Fiz’s job is on the line as leverage to continue his lunacy. John figures that Charlotte will just get bored very quickly and just go away. Why doesn’t he introduce her to Lewis Archer?
On Sunday, Jason angrily packs his bags at the flat to move back in with mum. Tina wants to stay in the flat before they sell it – just for a bit before she finds herself another place. Jason isn’t up for talking to her and pushes her out of the way while he’s packing. Jason leaves the flat and spots Nick outside working on Turner’s and assumes that he’s been seeing Tina and accuses him of just that before grabbing him by the collar.
Elsewhere, Graeme’s got his ticket ready and is prepared to meet the woman of his dreams at Speed Dating night in the Rovers. Graeme practices his lady-talking skills on Ashley, and Ashley isn’t going home with him after. Tina comes by to have a proper chat with Graeme and tells him that she’s broken it off with Jason. She asks Graeme if he’s busy tonight and if he wants to come over to hers since she wants to use him as an emotional punching bag talk. She wants to meet at 7pm, which is right when Speed Dating starts, but Graeme cringes and agrees to meet her anyway. Tina’s expecting Graeme, but in walks Eileen who gives Tina a piece of her mind, defending her valiant son as usual. She tells Tina that she wants her to stay away from Jason after breaking his heart twice. Also, she’s to move out of the flat ASAP so that Jason can sell it.
Graeme is done up in his best dress for a night of amazement. I don’t know what Graeme was expecting when he got to Tina’s but he got same old sob-on-the- couch Tina, only this time with more cleavage. She whines on about what a horrible person she is, and Graeme tells her she isn’t. Tina feels bad, or thinks she should feel bad, about using Jason. She notices that Graeme looks nice, and he even brought soup. Tina witters on as Graeme continues to check his watch and she gets angry about it figuring that she bores him. He tells her how he was supposed to go to Speed Dating that evening. Tina figures that’s why he’s dressed up. Way to go, detective McIntyre. Of course, Tina gets even more mad than before at him. Tina actually accuses Graeme of being selfish and he puts her in her place – wherever that is. Tina grabs him and snogs him before he goes out the door in a very cheesy, awkward moment.
It’s finally Speed Dating night, what we’ve all been looking forward to. The Rovers is done up like Valentine’s Day in June! Ciaran asks Michelle if she’d be his partner that night for the Speed Dating event, but she gives him a firm and flirty “no.” Michelle accuses Ciaran of using the Speed Dating night to pull ladies for himself, but he says there’s only one lady he wants to go on a date with but she keeps turning him down. Is it Mammy Connor? Speed Dating has started and Michelle is in her tartiest outfit ever. Something I’m not even sure Rosie Webster would entertain, but never say never. Ciaran flirts it up with Michelle and Liz points this out to her. Liz says if Michelle doesn’t want Ciaran…but Michelle says she never said that! The ladies clink glasses to their romantic success potential for the night.
Shockingly enough, lots of lovely ladies did show up to Speed Dating night. Probably because Ciaran sold them all their tickets. These poor girls who have the pickings of Lloyd and Kirk. Me thinks that Michelle has a bit more of a thing for Ciaran than our boy thinks and goes out back to get him alone. Much to Michelle’s dismay she finds Ciaran snogging the face off of some Kylie-Minogue-look-a-like outside. Another one bites the dust, eh Michelle? Things aren’t going much better inside as Kirk is left speechless, then gets a slap by two different dates. Meanwhile, Janice and Julie are having their own fun at Speed Dating, but taking shots and making bets on the lovers shuffle. Cheryl shows up with Leanne and immediately spots Lloyd. Cheryl manages to sit across from Lloyd when the whistle is blown for them to shuffle to the next date. Cheryl apologizes to Lloyd for leading him on and asks him if he can still get those Oklahoma tickets. Lloyd’s certainly doing well for himself tonight!
HIGHLIGHTS:
- Charlotte to John: “You’re my main, John. My meat and two veg.”
- Is it just me, or would anyone else be really happy if Charlotte and John walked off into the sunset with each other? Preferably on a Sunday?
- Nick to his staff: “Good job, girls.” Izzy: “We’re not girls.” Janice: “I’m a laydeeee.”
- Graeme to Tina, “Yeah, I’ve got Athlete’s Foot. Which is weird, because I’m not an athlete.” and “Step inside my meaty boudoir!”
- Ken coming into the Kabin looking for magazines about serial killers for Deirdre, since it might remind her of Blanche. Love the continuity!
- Tina to Rita: “Well, go on then, you’re a woman of the world.” Rita: “Well, that’s one way of putting it!”
- Eileen singing Bohemian Rhapsody while hanging Jason’s pants out to dry.
- Graeme and Ashley mock “speed dating” in the butcher shop behind the counter.
- Graeme done up in his best putting on a Saturday Night Fever strut a la John Travolta, to “Stayin’ Alive” by the BeeGees!
LOWLIGHTS:
- I didn’t think Charlotte’s outfit was so bad! Of course, this is fashion advice coming from Fiz and Rosie Webster. Heavens knows we’ve seen worse off the two of them.
- What’s with Charlotte harassing Rosie Webster, her ex-student? Isn’t there some kind of professional candour she’s supposed to uphold as a teacher? Playground stuff!
- Why does Leanne even keep wine at home, when Peter’s an alcoholic. A dry house would really help his cause. You can’t lose weight knowing that there’s licorice in the cupboard!
- Poor Jason, getting his heart broken – AGAIN. I worry about the next heart that Tina will break.