A little goes a long way. Was it just me or was this a particularly good week of the show? I mean, it wasn't perfect, thankfully, or I'd have nothing to bitch about, but there were so many little touches here and there that made me laugh and smile and felt like proper Corrie. Lines like "you've got a face like a yard of gravy", or Mary drinking Dark and Stormies, or Emma writing "bandinage" on her hand, or Ken saying "abed" because of course he does felt like real character moments. Maybe it was relief that nobody got shot or murdered or screamed in terror at a rampaging psychopath. Maybe I was just excited by mention of not only Kevin's moustache, but also the legendary Steph Barnes, who shaved it off at a house party. Maybe I found the sight of Tyrone with a big thick 'tache more interesting than I thought I would.
Or maybe I'm just thrilled that Michelle Connor is no longer in this programme, and that she's Ireland's problem now, not ours, and I never again have to turn on ITV and listen to the Exalted Queen of the Universe justifying her appalling behaviour. Whatever it is, keep it up.
Never trust a bisexual. It's years since Todd Grimshaw planted a smacker on Nicky v.2 and ushered in the era of Weatherfield Gay Pride. And the show's done pretty good with gay and lesbian characters, leaving aside its unfortunate habit of killing pretty young homosexual girls. Bisexual characters however continue to get short shrift. This isn't just Corrie's problem - it happens across all the soaps. If a character is bisexual they will at some point be sexually duplicitous, usually with someone of the opposite sex to who they're currently with, because the implication is they just can't help themselves. They'll do anyone. There was Sonny, an ex of Sean's who got engaged to Michelle but also kept Sean as a bit on the side. Marcus fell for Maria's charms, but was soon sleeping with Todd behind her back. Rana never formally defined her sexuality, but she decided that it was perfectly ok for her to have same-sex relations behind her husband's back. Now we've got Tracy and Paula. Tracy, long-established as one of the most awful human beings in existence, apparently had "more women than Madonna" in prison, which is the first we've heard of it. Meanwhile, Paula, who was a perfectly reasonable adult woman up until this point, turned into some kind of raging sex beast on New Year's Eve, calling Steve an idiot and getting a drunken Tracy into her bed. Where did that come from? Tracy was then shown to deeply regret their encounter while Paula strutted around coldly telling her to get over it and being pretty unreasonable. The message was clear; don't trust anyone who likes Martha and Arthur, because they will betray you.
Get ready for Izzy: Girl Detective. Weatherfield Police continued their bang-up job of being absolutely useless as that Welsh bloke out of that Silurian episode of Doctor Who tried and failed to crack the nut that is Gary Windass. They should just employ Izzy, as she chatted to Derek's wife and immediately rushed over to the Rovers to confront her ex with times, dates, and evidence. I'd watch a spin off where she fixed that beady stare on perps and waited for them to crack. Maria took the news that Gary had lied to her again really badly and threw her out of her house and out of her life; this resolve lasted about twelve hours because she saw him give a desperate man a carriage clock and decided that everything was fine now. He was busily changing the locks at the factory because of a tiff with his ex but you know, nobody's perfect. Honestly Maria, terminate that foetus and get as far away from Gary as possible while you still have a couple of brain cells left.
Bad guys finish first. It's possible that Gary may actually have given up the villainy and gone onto the straight and narrow because now the show has Ray as a character. There's something about Ray, and actor Mark Frost's performance, I really like; he's got a charm and a wit about him. Yes he's a bit of a sleaze, but I can't be the only one who found his flirting with Abi funny and sexy? (Also that bit when he dropped her and she cracked her head on the door was hilarious, possibly not deliberately). I'd be happy if he stayed in the show as the new Mike Baldwin villain, running the Bistro and being a bit of a rich scumbag, but not actually tipping over into murder or rape or something. Mind you, his business decisions aren't giving me much hope that he'll be a millionaire for long. Free drinks on New Year's Eve was bad enough, but he then compounded the error by suggesting that the new manager of the Bistro would be either Faye or Bethany. Can you imagine? They have the business sense of a chrysalis. He'd be better off appointing one of those anonymous waiters who aren't allowed to talk - they might be silent but at least you could trust they wouldn't accidentally blow the place up.
Get it where you can. With Shona still in a coma, Roy very kindly gave David a free bap. As he left the cafe, he ran into Daniel, who offered David sympathy over their similar circumstances. David claimed there was no similarity between them and he didn't want people treating him any different... yet he failed to return that free sarnie. Picking and choosing there, aren't we Dave? He should be nicer to people who are being kind to him because as we learned from Josh's trial, his best friend is Nicky, and frankly nobody deserves that.
Even though this was a properly funny week of telly, the biggest laugh for me was the Underworld staff reacting to the factory possibly relocating outside of the Street. Imagine having to commute to work! The horror! If you can think of any more hideous fates let me know on Twitter @merseytart.
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2 comments:
Never mind Faye being too dopey and rude (to Nick and Sarah last week) to be bistro manager. Isn't she still at school? I don't remember her doing any GCSEs. And does she now live permanently with Tim rather than Anna?
It was very good this week. For the reasons you've said but it's also good to get back to things being a bit more humdrum, ie no one getting shot.
The Tracy/Paula thing turned out to be a lot better than I had anticipated and I was delighted to see that Damon had written the Wednesday episode. Mary's reaction when Tracy told her what she'd done was hilarious.
Faye, according to wikipedia, is almost 18. She did move to Durham with Anna but returned after a couple of weeks. I think she is supposed to live with Sally and Tim, but we never see her there!
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