Sunday, 12 January 2020

Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week


Sit back and enjoy.  There are many, many excellent actors on Corrie.  They do exemplary work in an environment that doesn't give them rehearsals, that processes episode after episode in a very short period of time, that needs you to hit your marks and get your lines out fast because they need to get on.  It's a difficult job and the vast majority of the cast handle it well.  But sometimes you see truly incredible actors at work and it's another level.  This week Roy and Evelyn talked about Hope and her future and it was marvellous.  The interactions of Maureen Lipman and David Neilson, two highly experienced actors with a wealth of theatrical experience behind them, were breathtaking.  They juggled humour and emotion and pain, they let you see nuances and fractures under the surface - they were brilliant.  I hope Roy and Evelyn continue to be friendly in this way, gently laughing at one another (Roy's "joke" was fantastic), while also acting as support.  Or alternatively they get a spin-off sitcom where they run a B&B in Cleethorpes.  Either way I'd happily watch them for hours.


Freshco's promotional budget is in the millions.   Tara whisked Chesney and Gemma off to Hale Barns for a photoshoot with the quads, putting them in an enormous McMansion and giving them extensive makeovers.  This was, apparently, because Freshco's customers are "aspirational".


Judging by the outfits Freshco provided what they aspire to is dressing like the cast of a failed Westward drama about psychic MI5 agents from 1973.  Ches and Gemma ended up kipping on the luxurious double bed, but it didn't matter, because they went ahead and did the photoshoot anyway with stand-ins.  And what was the result of this afternoon in a Cheshire pile?


Four babies on a throw.  That could've been taken anywhere.  You could've taken that backdrop and chucked it over the tatty sofa at number 5 and nobody would know the difference.  Clearly this is all a massive scam and some exec at Freshco got paid a ridiculous amount of money for the use of his house even though all they used was a settee.  The baby handlers were probably his wife and son.  Tara's on a back-hander, trust me.


Mrs Tembe has a SECRET, because of course she does.  Aggie's behaviour on Christmas Day - in which she singularly failed to save a dying man - won her another of those awards for community champions that they seem to always be handing out at the Gazette.  She felt unworthy even though previous winners of these awards include Mary's pathological liar son Jude and Gemma after she did Rita's shopping for a couple of days - the bar for nomination is so low I could probably get nominated for putting my chewing gum in the bin.  Anyway, it provoked another slice of backstory for Aggie, because the Baileys are only allowed onscreen when they have a secret to spill.  It turns out she used to be a nurse and she accidentally killed someone with drugs.  I really thought it was going to be more exciting than that.  I hoped Aggie had been an Annie Wilkes-style psychopath who couldn't be trusted in the hospital any more because she kept poisoning old people.  As it is, one little chat with Roy and she was considering going back into the profession; he'd pointed out that with the NHS underfunded and understaffed, it could happen to anyone, which made up for the moment where Bernie said she agreed with Michael Gove's "we've had enough of experts".  Thanks for that, Brexit Bernie.


Come on in - the water's lovely.  Honestly, I could have written this entire Five Things just about Sally's hot tub party, because I'm obsessed with it.  Why was she having it on a Friday lunchtime?  In January?  Why was the water so filthy?  Why did she only invite Paula?  Why did Paula wear a blouse in the water when she got there?  Does she have a massive tattoo of Hitler on her shoulder or something?  Did Tracy and Steve really wander round the Street in their dressing gowns, rather than changing in Sally's house like normal people?  Was Steve sitting like that to conceal the inevitable shrinkage that results when you sit in a pond in winter?  And this is even before we get to Leanne's many lesbian-related wisecracks and smug laughs.  She learned all about the affair by listening through a door, where it became clear that even when Jenny Bradley is not on set, Jane Danson is there to pick up the Amazing Faces baton.


It's funny how in some ways this is the exact same plot as Rana and Kate's affair, but while Rana snogging a woman behind her husband was played as Shakespearan tragedy, this is pure farce.  Which is a shame because Mary banging on about Sappho and singing tATu would've livened up the months of angst and crying in back alleys no end.


Still, at least the cat's out of the bag now, and the whole Street is aware that Steve McDonald's wife has lady-loving leanings.  There was a very sweet moment when he told Emma that while he might not love Tracy the most of all his wives, he thinks she's the one he's meant to be with.  Mr and Mrs McDonald have settled for one another, and though it may not be perfect, it works.


Do anything you can to bring someone out of a coma.  Shona continued to be at death's door, though at least this week she started breathing on her own, beginning a long road to recovery that'll probably last, ooh, about six months.  (I really hope that Julia Goulding spends her maternity leave eating cakes and sitting around in front of the telly and the writers have to explain how somebody in a coma has managed to put on three stone).  David tried to revive her using sounds of the cafe to bring her back to life - honestly, if someone had tried to revive me by playing the noise of my workplace at me to remind me of the daily grind I was missing I'd have welcomed the sweet escape of death.  Nicky told David he was wasting his time, because he's nice like that.


Meanwhile, Shona got a visit from her nearest and dearest: her family, Roy her employer, Billy her friend, and... Eileen?  I'd forgotten that Shona used to live with her at number 11, mainly because I don't think they've had a single conversation since about 2017, but it was nice of her to show up.  Clayton was conspicuously absent, passing on word that he couldn't be bothered; this is a great shame, because he could've used the hospital visit as another opportunity to try and escape, and we could've been treated to the sight of him trying to run again.


So what do we think the order of Steve's wives is in terms of who he loved the most?  I reckon it's Karen - Becky - Tracy - Michelle - Vicky.  Maybe swap Tracy and Michelle, but Vicky's definitely last.  Let me know your order on Twitter @merseytart.






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3 comments:

Louby said...

Corrie has suddenly become so much more enjoyable to watch, I can't think why!

Tracy needn't worry too much about splitting up with Steve. I've still got my hopes up for a return of Rob Donovan, surely they can think up a reason for his early release?

The hot tub scene was brilliant. The blouse thing was indeed strange!

dhvinyl said...

Once again, a brilliant summary. I really hope Jonathan Harvey and all his scriptwriter colleagues look forward to your weekly wit..they could learn so much. Totally agree that Maureen and David should be together forever, on or off the Street. And yes, we must be told about the tattoos under the blouse. Also, credit to Simon Gregson for not being ashamed to show the world his frighteningly unfit body!

Sharon Boothroyd said...

Great post, made me chuckle!
The outfits for Chesney and Gemma were quite strange, as was Paula's blouse in the hot tub.
But I'd like to know who's arranging Robert's funeral. Or are we supposed to sort of forget about it?
I'm drawn to Ray and Abi's romance. We know the sleazy snake is just using her. Will she end up heartbroken when he dumps her for a younger model? Will Abi end up in Kev's arms?

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