Over at the beard oil factory, sorry, cramped flat containing three adults and a six-month-old baby, Sinead and Daniel are bickering with one another over wedding plans, male grooming products and which should take priority. Daniel has booked a hotel room for their wedding night which inexplicably puts his intended bride into a sulk. I didn’t quite get the reasons for said sulk, mainly because Sinead is so dull that I feel narcolepsy setting in whenever she’s on screen. Large beard oil order? Just a registry office? Already married? Something…snooze…drool…something. The bickering turns into a big row, with Sinead accusing Daniel of acting too old. Which is ironic really as Sinead’s fashion sense and interior design taste would probably be rejected by Jane Austen for being a little bit too twee. Feeling unwanted, Daniel suggests they call the whole thing off.
Anyway, all this seems to give Mr Osbourne the perfect excuse to flirt with Bethany in the Bistro kitchen, (which is apparently staffed by robots as no one seems to be actually cooking in there). Her article has been rejected by the Gazette and because he has some sort of white knight complex, he phones them up and tells them how brilliant she is and how stupid they are for not publishing her. Overhearing him the two get close and almost share a kiss…
Meanwhile over-enthusiastic little sister Amy Barlow decides to invite Emma round for tea. It’s an awkward affair. Steve puts on a suit and shows her his Human League dance moves, while Amy and Tracey have laid on a ham sandwich buffet unaware that Emma is a vegetarian. When it’s clear that an embarrassed Emma can’t leave soon enough, Amy blames her mum. As Amy is really resembling Dawn Acton-era Tracy at the moment I was quite disappointed that she didn’t stomp off to her room to play her tapes and call Tracy ‘a rotten cowing tart’, but you can’t have everything. In the Rovers Emma unloads her Barlow problems to Audrey who tells her that Steve really isn’t too bad. Emma comes back to the flat and finally has a heart to heart with Steve. He tells her he was mad on Fiona and wishes things had been different. In a sweet scene which made me love Emma even more, she tells him he won’t ever replace her dad but they can be mates.
Over at the Bistro Ray offers Michelle the chance to run a Bistro-franchise in his hotels but makes it clear that it’s her ‘management skills’ he’s interested in rather than her shabby-chic averaged menu-ed restaurant. Hmm from memory Michelle’s CV reads: singer, barmaid, planned a couple of weddings, part runs a permanently on the verge of bankruptcy restaurant, so hell yeah, she’s definitely got the experience and business acumen run a chain of hotel restaurants. I think I’ve read that Ray is going to go all Harvey Weinstein on her which may burst her ‘I am the UK’s greatest businesswoman’ bubble. Then again this is Michelle we’re talking about so she’ll probably just conclude that she is irresistible to all men….and the UK’s greatest businesswoman.
In other news, grumpy Eileen can’t live with Mary and tells Seb he has to get her to move out. Luckily, she has a change of heart and Mary is allowed to stay. Which is obviously the right choice as Mary is the perfect roommate. I would happily binge-watch her dvd collection with her whilst wearing matching silver bomber jackets. And it could be a lot worse, you could live with vile Geoff who is making himself at home at No.6 by commandeering Alya’s old room for his magic equipment and persuading Yasmeen to get her granddaughter to return her keys.
Finally, after a chat with Beth, Sinead goes round to the Bistro to apologise to Daniel but clocks a yearning look between him and Bethany. She tells a nervous Bethany that she wants a word with her, but Bethany denies there are any feelings between them. Sinead then tells her that she has told Daniel that she has cancelled the registry office but their wedding is actually still booked and she is planning to surprise him.
As this is a soap wedding, I imagine it will all end in tears, death and possibly the world spinning off its axis and everyone plunging screaming into the abyss. Congratulations everyone. Enjoy the speeches and save me a sausage roll!
I've been Kelly, see you in a couple of weeks or catch my stupid mutterings on twitter @mskelstar
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6 comments:
A reading joy as always, Kelly.
You've done a marvellous job Kelly, writing such a good review about such dull episodes. The scene with Steve and Emma was nice though.
Thanks David and Louby.
Great review, Kelly. Glad I’m not the only one who finds Sinead insufferable.
In Sinead's defense,it wasn't so long ago that Daniel encouraged her to continue with her beard oil business to help keep her mind off her cancer[as she was awaiting test results] and now that she followed his advice and is making money[which they need].Daniel decides after a fight to cheat on Sinead with Bethany?!
I think Daniel is the one being insufferable and why is it every time a couple goes through a rough patch,someone has to cheat?!
Wonderful review, Kelly!
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