Babies make you crazy. The main theme of this week was Kate's disintegration from a mildly annoying minor Connor into an ovary obsessed mother machine desperate to fertilise herself at any cost. Corrie has a disturbing and not at all pleasant fixation on the wombs of its female characters; if you can't have a baby, or something happens to the child, you immediately go insane. Even if you are pregnant, like Sinead, the burden of bearing a child drives you nuts and you start trying to cure cancer with avocado wraps and happy thoughts. This week, Kate decided she wanted a baby, and by Friday she was begging for Robert's sperm and refusing to tell anyone about it. Part of me hopes she persists with the fiction for months, and we get the first British soap opera dealing with the possibility of immaculate conception.
In the meantime we have Robert, who's apparently decided "I want to be a father" actually means "I want my DNA to persist no matter what the cost" and has volunteered to fill the turkey baster for Kate. It takes a lot for me to sympathise with Michelle, but this week I was actually on her side, as she refused to give into his pressure to have a child. Leaving aside the fact that she's a middle aged lady who's been there, done that, this is also a woman who's been pregnant twice in her life and had horrible things happen to both babies. It's entirely understandable that she doesn't want to pick at that particular scab again. If Robert is that keen to have a child - and let's not forget he's been married twice before and never seemed that bothered then - he should end the relationship and find a lady who is just as enthusiastic. Getting the local lesbian up the duff behind her partner's back is rarely the solution.
Brian's about to lose control and I think I like it. The pressure of dealing with awful stats-obsessed boss Phil is getting to Brian, and he's taking caffeine pills to keep himself awake. I hope this is an homage to one of the greatest plotlines in televisual history - that time Jessie got addicted to caffeine pills on Saved By The Bell - and it ends with our Mr Packham giving an insane/camp/amazing performance of I'm So Excited before falling into Cathy's arms. It's already affecting his mental faculties; in last Monday's episode he indicated right on his bicycle...
...then he turned left.
Someone take his cycling proficiency badge off him.
Hell hath no fury like a Jenny scorned. It's been a couple of months since La Bradley discovered her husband had been schtupping Liz McDonald, but she's still not over it. She knocked Liz's mobile into the sink then offered to put it in some brown rice to dry it out. In a delightfully vicious reveal at the start of Wednesday's episode, we discovered she'd actually been storing it in a pint glass full of water overnight. She then installed a tracking device on the new phone so she could make sure Liz didn't spend her days romping with Johnny.
The accuracy of that app is frankly terrifying. Jenny will probably be able to keep track of Liz's bowel movements with it.
Families are not your friend. It breaks my heart to deal with the sadness of Sally Metcalfe's imprisonment, not least because I'm tired of the producers going with this "innocent woman locked up" storyline again. Seriously, Anna was released from her wrongful arrest only a few months ago - give us a while to get over it. Anyway, the actors all did their best with the thin material, with Sally Dynevor unsurprisingly superb as the collapsing former Mayor. Also delightful was Mark Fleischmann as the prosecuting barrister, who ramped up the pure evil to levels not seen outside of Tracy Barlow's diary.
Obviously the most evil person in all of this is Gina, who's taking advantage of her sister's incarceration to put the moves on her brother in law. I've seen some people attribute this behaviour to her bipolar diagnosis, but that fails to take into account the fact that mental illness doesn't force you to behave like an appalling human being. That's all on Gina.
Opportunity knocks, but you can miss it. Speaking of appalling human beings, Sean and Evelyn took time out from knitting at the bottom of Sally's guillotine to compete over who got to cover the bar. Being ever so slightly sprightlier, Sean managed to get back there first, denying us the opportunity to see Maureen Lipman running the Rovers once more. Those of us with fond memories of her glorious Lillian Spencer phase were understandably frustrated. I would give good money to see Mo behind the bar again throwing shade at the more undesirable clientele.
As Mary persists with her quest to find her son, the author would like to know if anyone except her is actually that bothered by where Jude has gone. Let him know on Twitter @merseytart.
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4 comments:
That the main storyline in the Street at the moment is based on the palpable vision of various men wanking into a cup... well, Tony Warren would be delighted.
Gina isn't maliciously trying to steal her sister's husband. If she was, she'd be smirking at the camera panto-style but she sobs after telling lies on the phone. She's got a crush on Tim and his ego needs a boost. If they get as far as sleeping together, that's Gina finished as she'll end up leaving. Together, Tim & Sally were a gift to the writers: the actors could do funny and tragic. The longer the storyline goes on, the less likely they are to reconcile. So that's great then; three characters spoilt in one go.
Agree - the writers have taken a couple that worked well without needing to rely on infidelity, etc. to make their relationship interesting, and screwed it up for nothing but a tired, tired old story line.
Will be interesting to see if Robert gets tips from Sean about the turkey baster, as he's been there, done that with Violet.
This is the same Jenny Bradley who, in Classic Corrie of 1991 was having an affair with a married man!
I realised that Hope and Jack Webster are supposed to be almost the same age, yet look at the difference!
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