Coronation Street Weekly Update, March 29 2010

A million thanks go to the lovely Barry Smith for looking after the weekly updates so nicely for the last two weeks while I was immersed in official Corrie business. But now, that’s all done and I’m back at the helm. I have to say, that Barry one has left the weekly update office ship-shape although he appears to have left his slippers under the desk. Anyway, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.

Gail’s in jail in bad pyjamas but her spirits are high as she thinks she’s getting out. But when her solicitor comes with bad news that she’s been refused bail, she slinks back to her cell, banged up with a Jackie Dobbs-lite. While Gail’s in jail, the Plattilsley boys battle it out on the Street with one of the more convincing punch-ups the Street’s had in a while. It flew from David’s fist to Nick’s nasty sneering face as big brother taunted little ‘un about Tina. She dumped Jason after he proposed when his divorce came through from Sarah, her what’s in Milan. Well, from Milan to miladdo as Jason waved his decree absolute in Tina’s face as foreplay and got it wrong again. Jason was wearing that aftershave again, his Eau D’esperation which he’d liberally splashed all over. So anyway, in order to get rid of Jason, Tina told him she’d kissed Nick so Jason knocked out Nick then Nick taunted David at home and wham, Nick got it in the face really hard and really good. I liked that punch a lot.

Over in the salon, Lewis calls in to see Audrey for a short back and sides and a chit-chat. She confides to him about Gail and the boys and she’s really fallen for Lewis, you can tell and even though he tells her his meter’s not running, you know it really is, somewhere down the line. Rita wants to know who Audrey’s mystery man is, especially when Norris takes it on himself to photograph Audrey being kissed by Lewis under the awning and Audrey tells Rita the truth. She tells her that Lewis is an escort, and yes, she pays him for his time, and no, she’s not falling for him. Oh Audrey, you big fibber, you.

Eileen finally threw Jesse out this week after he tried to wheedle his way back into her heart and her bed. But first, he sought an opening in Julie’s gullibility and fortunately, she saw right through him straight away. So when Eileen told Julie she was thinking of giving Jesse another chance, Julie had to set her sister straight. And so the sisters started beating Jesse up with an assortment of blown-up toys before the cowboy strolled out of town, defeated by a plastic cactus. There was a wonderful touch as Jesse turned the corner to walk away from the Street and a comedy tumbleweed blew down the cobbles.

Over at the Websters’, Kev’s looking after the girls as Sally’s gone to stay with Aunty Phyllis. So Neanderthal man tries to look after two teenage girls and fails miserably. He foregoes a promised shopping trip with Sophie for a pint with Tyrone and forgets to tell Rosie to cover up her cleavage as it wobbled out of the door 10 minutes before Rosie did. She’s got a new boyfriend, some footballer called Kyle who plays for Weatherfield County. Not that Kevin cares, his mind’s all over the place now that Molly’s back with Tyrone and up the duff with a Webster baby, maybe.

Sophie and Sian grew closer this week as the teenage friends denounced men (aka dozy Ryan and a layabout called Lee) and they got matching henna tattoos.

Meanwhile, up in the flat in the sky at Victoria Court, Dev’s having trouble controlling his kids in his bachelor pad. Little Aadi gets stuck outside on the balcony and locked out until Graeme the window cleaner comes to his rescue. Dev rewards Graeme with brandy, Sunita with a hug and it’s hard to know which one Graeme enjoyed most. The episode makes Dev realise the flat’s no place to bring up kids, they need a big house with a garden for the kids to run around. Why then do they end up looking at Maria’s place on the Street (no space and no garden) next week?

And finally this week, John Stape’s rumbled and sacked after lying to the college that he didn’t have a criminal record, and he has. I can’t muster up any sympathy for the Stapester, he knew what he was doing was wrong. And what’s so bad about working at Roy’s Rolls anyway? If it’s good enough for Roy and Hayley, it should be more than good enough for the waste of space that is Stape.

Coronation Street writers this week were Martin Allen, Mark Burt, Chris Fewtrell and Joe Turner. Find out more about the Coronation Street writing team.

Find out more about these Coronation Street Weekly Updates

Glenda Young
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