Sunday, 29 September 2013

What the Platt family needs is a nice Irish nanny

I'm finding the Platts a bit dull at the moment. It feels like the entire clan is in that coma with Nick. It's been far too long since a Platt has been pushed down the stairs or plunged into the canal by a loved one.

I think it's time to spice things up a bit. What David and Kylie clearly need is a mad Irish nanny. I long for Crazy Carmel to make a return visit. Maybe she finally did get pregnant after all and she has an equally deranged daughter who could come back and cause mayhem at number 8? If not the original, there must be another Cusack around somewhere who could step into the drab cardigan and sensible shoes. 

In all seriousness, I'm getting a bit tired of the whole David/Nick/Kylie saga. It's all far too complicated now for me to care. I've forgotten who knows what about this, that and who's had a bit of the other. Nick has given the performance of his life in that hospital bed. Although we the viewer note that he has a newly shaved head which can only mean he'll come round with a scary new personality which makes David look like Julie Andrews. All Leanne does these days is whinge and look moist around the eyes. Simon is so bored of her, he's not had any dialogue since February.

I love Kylie and always will, but the grouchy new mum thing doesn't really suit her. She could do a lot better than either of the Platt Tilsley boys and considering she's a former cage dancer who sold her son to her sister, that's saying something! As for David, well we've all seen his demonic side far too often for it to be a shocker. That evil upwards stare just doesn't cut the mustard anymore. The character appears to be in a continuous cycle of Good David/ Evil David. I'm not sure I can take another twenty years of the same. 


And as for Gail. Well when the truth finally hits the fan, or when everybody knows what everybody already knows, we must prepare ourselves for the grim task of watching much eyelash fluttering and softly spoken Ivy Tilsley like drops of poison. Gosh, if any character needs a reboot, it's Gail.

Back in the days when Gail had hair that flowed past her shoulders we cared about her and supported her feisty battles against Ivy, Audrey or whoever else crossed her path. When she came up against mad Carmel, we were on her side. If Carmel junior appeared on the cobbles today, I worry I'd be backing her all the way. 

I've always loved the dynamic of the Platts. I just feel like we've been here with them too many times before. I know the backbone of soap is the triumvirate of secrets, lies and who's the daddy, but I really do think Gail and her brood need an injection of fresh thinking and different plot lines. And no, that does not mean the return of either Lewis or Marc/Marcia! 

Where am I going with all this? Well, if I was Audrey, I'd read this blog, sell up and run like hell!    


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17 comments:

Anonymous said...

I stopped caring about Kylie/Nick/David months ago. Unfortunately, the producer has handled this storyline the same way he used to handle storylines on Emmerdale.

Kylie and David used to be great together but I'm even bored of them now and I just don't care about Leanne - everyone knows Nick is second best, unless she's changed her mind for the 7th time? Leanne would benefit from having some time away from the street - and by time, I mean at least a year.

They've even shoehorned Tina into the storyline, which makes it worse.

Humpty Dumpty said...

Kylie is the strongest character in the Platt family. Her portrayal of exhausted new mum who doesn't want a night out but a good night's sleep was very believable.

Unfortunately, Corrie seems obsessed with family sagas. It means people rarely interact with other residents unless they're all part of an on-going storyline. The only exception to this is Steve and Lloyd who work together but have their separate lives. That's why they work so well as a team. Fiz and the Croppers may develop nicely too but, generally, it's insular storylines about the Platts, the Prices, the Barlows and that makes it very boring.

Flaming Nora said...

Beltin' blog post, Graeme!

Anonymous said...

Right you are - dragging on far to long, but that might be because a couple of major characters are MIA so the writers have to fill in the time with tedious shite.

Canadian Bacon Sarnie said...

Poor sPlatt family, no peace at all.
It looks like a bit of a pattern lately to keep one singular family's overwritten, dragged out storyline on the go. It's maddening watching the same repetitive stuff over and over.
However, I adore Hayley and Roy and that story is beautiful at the moment ~ and we know it can't be played out long enough.
But, when the sPlatts turn into the EverReady battery bunnies going round and round, it's hard to watch or care. Not to sound like Dev, but Please sPlatt family; "DOsomethinganthingANYTHINGbutforTHEloveofCORRIE, PLEASE wake up!!"
..and yes, Audrey, RUN, but not too far because I love your unPlatness the most.
Also, the mention of Gail's fluttering eyes and whisper-talking to come is already to icky to think about... egad, make it end, please. (then give Gail a personality transformation like so many others have had, apparently, they come free with every 600 hours of script misery / which means that Eileen is due for one as well).

Anonymous said...

Agreed that the Platts need a complete rethink. Gail needs to do something other than mop floors and find dreadful men. And the who's the daddy story has been a huge mistake, apart from putting "Old Nick" in a coma. Couldn't he stay in it for 15 years? If he didn't age in that time, then he would emerge looking a little more credible as Gail's son.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant post.

The Platts have been at the forefront of the show for too long. I just don't enjoy watching them as much as I used to but that's mainly because the storylines have become tedious.

Personally, I'd like to see more of the Barlows. Deirdre could do with some company - perhaps an aunt or uncle?

Alastair said...

The storyline is still good I think we need to see Gail's father Ted Page again I'm sure he can sought out the family and of course he is Lily's great-grandad.

The Platt's have had some great storylines over the previous months but I think Corrie should focus on giving someone else some storylines.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful post...let's hope Mr. Blackburn reads it.

I think introducing an entirely new family to the street would be great. New blood so to speak. It would be conceivable to have a new family open a shop and move to the cobbles...why always rely on bringing back characters?

Anonymous said...

I think Gail should return to Cafe to work with Roy once Hayley dies. Remove her from the Bistro and interact with other characters.

The.HR.Doctor said...

Given the Platt's much-publicised financial situation (David never stops bleating about how poor they are), unless the Irish nanny will accept wages in sawdust or hair clippings, I can't see that one happening...

Frosty the Snowman said...

Gail needs to go. I am sure Helen Worth is a lovely person but this character is exhausted and just irritating with her boxy head and whispering eyelash fluttering and interfering. I dont enjoy watching her at all irrespective of how many years she has been there. I wish the new producer would grow a pair and kill her off. I think David and Kylie would develop without her.

Graeme N said...


I quite like the character of Gail, I just wish they would take her back to how she was, back in the day.

Graeme N said...


I agree Anonymous - I'd like more of Deirdre and more people for her to interact with, other than just Tracy/Peter.

I think it would be good for Gail to go back to the cafe, as long as her personality improves at the same time!

RosieL L said...

Every now and then we go into Platterama where the Platts get all the main story time, I get sooo fed up with them. I quite like them as a dysfunctional family but it does go into unnecessary silliness sometimes, and I'll say again, Sarah- Lou needs to come back! As does Gail's dad.

Anonymous said...

Anon at 3:00 I completely agree with your comments. Frosty as well. I would be happy to see the back of that entire family. Gail has turned into a spineless idiot. Evil David is a bore to watch. We are in dire need of some new, fresh characters bringing with them good storylines.

Defrost Indoors said...

Excellent comment about how the families on the Street seem to exist within their own bubbles, Humpty! It gets tedious with all the adultery, paternity disputes, and so on -- characters need to interact more.

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