Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

Memories are fleeting.  With Rana's death still fresh in everyone's mind, a makeshift shrine appeared in front of the factory (the second time Alya's set one up there; she did one for Luke last year.  Maybe she should go into the funeral business, or at least arrange a repeat customer discount with Tracy).  If they decide on a more permanent memorial, let's hope it's better taken care of than the raggedy collection of weeds that now passes for Tina's Flower Box.  Clearly everyone's got something better to do with their time than a bit of pruning in memory of a popular young girl who was senselessly clubbed to death.  I blame that community garden for distracting the green fingered locals.  Hopefully Rana's Commemorative Plaque will soon join Tina's Flower Box, Maddy's Spray Paint Mural and Maxine's Bench of Contemplation on the official Weatherfield tour of Memorials To Young Women Who Died Way Before Their Time In Unnecessarily Violent Circumstances.  (Incidentally, can we stop doing this now?)

Your priorities may differ from Michelle's.  "Don't worry!" Michelle reassured Jenny.  "I'll be happy to take care of the Rovers while you attend the funeral."  Literally two minutes after the Connors walked into the mosque Michelle was round at the Bistro bellowing at Robert.  She was there for the rest of the episode, too, "keeping an eye on him", while presumably everyone in the pub helped themselves to quadruple vodkas and unlimited hotpots.  Eventually she deigned to return - by which time Jenny and Johnny had got back - and then stayed working in the Rovers for days, leaving Ryan as her proxy in the restaurant.  Given that she made such a fuss of taking the Bistro off Robert in the first place, I'm not sure why she was so loathe to go back there, especially if she wanted to make sure it was all being run correctly.

When Robert discovered Ryan wasn't serving in the busy lunchtime rush but was instead gabbing on the phone to his mum, he gave him his cards.  Ryan went and told Michelle what had happened and she knew exactly why: "He's only sacked you to get back at me."  Yes, Michelle, because you are the Exalted Queen of the Universe, the magnetic centre of the planet, and everything that happens in this world is directly related to you in some way.  She probably thinks Kim Jong-Un is only launching nuclear missiles as a desperate way of getting her attention.

Nice guys can finish first.  Roy's former foster child Wayne made a reappearance this week, now working as a Health and Safety inspector looking into the roof collapse.  (More than one character commented on what a coincidence this was; if you're trying to get us to accept a contrivance, Corrie, maybe don't have the show repeatedly point it out to us).  He turned out to be a quiet, nerdy little man who spends his weekends doing baked bean jigsaws and had nothing but affectionate memories of Roy and Hayley and his time on the Street.  He immediately started helping Roy and Brian look into the mysterious ring and seemed like generally a very nice young man - a sort of 21st Century Curly Watts.  Let's enjoy his quiet charm while we can, because he'll no doubt turn out to be yet another con artist who'll try to swindle Roy out of his savings and break his heart.

Be a woman of your word.  Gina announced she was leaving the Street forever, definitely, absolutely, she totally meant it this time.  She still didn't go.  That woman's had more Farewell Tours than Cher.  Instead of packing her case and booking a train, she loitered on the pavement wearing a kind of puffy bin bag, accosting passers by and telling them that she was leaving soon so they'd beg her not to go.  "I'll miss you," said Billy when Gina told him she was going, and I struggled to remember if they'd ever even spoken before.  She's a bit like one of those people who ostentatiously announces they've had enough of Twitter and log off for three days before suddenly reappearing and tweeting about Bake Off and pretending nothing happened.  Ironically, as we've not long ago seen in Classic Corrie on ITV3, Gina Mark 1 left the show without even saying goodbye. taking her dad's insurance money and vanishing offscreen.  Clearly she's learnt her lesson since then and now she's harder to get rid of than a red wine stain on a sofa. 

Interactive television can't come soon enough.  Part of the joy of watching Corrie is talking back to the characters - telling Alya that it's ridiculous to blame Sally for the roof collapse, or informing Gary and Sarah-Lou that they might not be so hard up if they stopped having chippy teas and pints in the pub.  They never listen.  It's a shame, because if Imran had heard me shouting "don't sit on those filthy steps in that nice white outfit!" he might not have walked round Rana's funeral with Roebridge Metalworks, Oldham stamped on his backside in grime.

In a week of death, funerals, and terrible gangsters, easily the most upsetting moment for @merseytart was seeing Seb put brown sauce on a side salad.  That's genuinely revolting.  

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